A Chip and a Chair

In 1982, a giant of a man named Jack "Treetop" Strauss was playing in the Main Event of the World Series of Poker.   He pushed all of his chips into the middle of the table, and he lost.   As he stood up to gather his things, underneath the napkin of his drink was a single chip.   Because, on the previous hand, he had only moved his chips to the middle and had not actually declared the term "All-In", the chip was still his, and he was allowed to continue playing.   He was able to take that single chip and come all the way back to win the tournament, arguably the greatest single feat in the history of poker.   It was the birth of a phrase that permeates not only the poker world, but our culture at large.   "All you need is a chip and a chair."   

Anyone who has played poker long enough has seen something similar play out on a much smaller stage.   I have a picture on my wall of me surrounded by money and chips, and in my hand is the single chip that I was down to before coming back to win that particular tournament.   "Treetop" Strauss' win is the most famous, but there have certainly been plenty of others.   But the reason that we remember his win, and the times that we witnessed or accomplished a similar feat ourselves, is that they are extremely abnormal.   Not just unexpected, but unexpected to such a degree that the events become indelibly etched in our memories and, in the case of Strauss, our culture at large.   

I think of these events whenever someone goes on a rant about how anyone can make it in this country if they just work hard enough.   They all point to some person who overcame tremendous odds to hit it big, and use that as an example that anyone can achieve anything simply through hard work and perseverance.   The truth is, that argument simply doesn't hold water.   Yes, it is true that everyone has an opportunity to succeed.   We all have that "chip and a chair", and if everything breaks absolutely perfect, we can come out successful in life, career, what have you.   

The problem is that people aren't starting with the same opportunities.   I am a white male, born healthy and into an upper middle class family (when those still existed).   I was born in one of a handful of countries that allows for upward mobility.   I was given a solid education, loving parents, and a decent social network of support.   I still failed.   Not at life.   Not as a human being.   But as far as becoming financially successful in a chosen career, I'm a failure.   Why?   Because even when you're given many advantages, you still have to get a little lucky, and I didn't.   The industry I worked in for fifteen years collapsed, and I wasn't ever able to recover and transfer those skills to something else.   

Now, when I think about someone who not only has to overcome things like race, gender or gender identity, economic disadvantages, systemic educational gaps, and on top of all those things, must also get lucky, the odds are forever stacked against them.   

As a culture, we love the underdog... but only when they succeed, or at least fail in a gloriously heroic manner.   We love hearing the story of the poor African American girl, whose parents died when she was young, that pushed herself through high school and college, and was able to found a successful business.  Proof of the American Dream.   The other 1,000 kids from that high school that failed getting there?  They simply didn't work hard enough.   Little Jenny proves it, anyone can make it in this glorious country of ours!!

It's a lie.   

If I had gone on to become a CEO of a major company, no one would have batted an eye.   I would never have stood out in a crowd.   It's honestly more surprising that I failed to become a success, given the advantages I was born into.  Ask yourself this: Why do we only laud the efforts of someone who overcomes tremendous obstacles to make it big in this country?   Why is it a MUCH bigger deal if someone becomes successful when they were born poor, or female, or a person of color, or *gasp* more than one of those?   Because the system is rigged for rich, white males.   That's who has always held the power, and people with power do everything they can to keep it.   It also allows them to continue to perpetuate the lie that "anyone can make it" if they just work hard enough, while continuing to do all they can to hold down everyone that isn't just like them.   

The reason it stands out in our minds when a poor person, a person of color, a woman, or someone transgender overcomes those obstacles and becomes successful, is the same reason that we remember "Treetop" Strauss winning the World Series of Poker 34 years later.   Because it's not just unexpected, it's shockingly unexpected.   We forget the millions upon millions of people that, given the exact same insurmountable odds, failed in the way the system is set up for them to fail.   

In the spirit of the Olympics that are going on now, let me put it to you this way...   Suppose we're all running a 100-yard dash.   If you win a medal, you hit it big.  If you don't, you fail utterly and will struggle your entire life just to survive.  Now, if you're a white male, middle class or above, you start on the regular starting line.   If you're female, you start five yards further back.   If you're poor, five yards further back.   A person of color, five yards behind that.   LGBT, you're yet another five yards back.   You're all still in the same race, you all still have a chance to win big.   Sure, some of you have a "bit of a disadvantage" to overcome, but c'mon, it's not that big of a deal, right?   I mean, if you work hard and persevere, you'll be able to win big!!   

I don't have all the answers.  I believe it is systemic and unable to be solved in a generation or two.  I'm just tired of people not recognizing that there's a problem in the first place.  We need to at least agree on that.  Because if you can look at the system we live in and you don't see a problem, you ARE part of the problem.    

No Matter Who Wins... America Loses

This being an election year, and me being both a history buff and a political junkie, I find myself thinking a lot about our next President, whomever that might turn out to be.   I look at this year's collection of candidates, and just sigh.   Part of me is sad because of how utterly pathetic they all will be as President, and part of me is sad because of how far we have fallen that this, THIS, is the best group of people we can trot out there.  

Now, most of you realize that I'm about as liberal as people come in this country.   Bernie Sanders isn't liberal ENOUGH for my tastes.   I'd legalize all vices (drugs, prostitution, gambling... you name it, I'd make it legal and tax the shit out of it), ban most guns, socialize not only the health care industry but insurance and pharmaceuticals too, and take half our military budget to fund our nonexistent infrastructure and education systems.   I also realize that I'm an outlier and not representative of the country at large.   I wish I could make everyone believe what I believe, but alas, I'm always forced to settle for something in the middle.  

That being said, I think Obama has been a very good president, and that Bill Clinton was a great one.   I'm sure the people I know that are good little republicans who diligently believe everything Fox News tells them to believe are frothing at the mouth in their desire to yell at me about why Obama and Clinton were evil, Reagan was the greatest President ever, and W. was just misunderstood and underrated.   We all have our opinions, and as wrong as yours is, I believe you're entitled to it. 

But seriously, folks, what the hell happened?   How did we get to the point where this is the best we can do?   I hated Reagan, and think he did more lasting harm to this country than any President ever has, but at least he knew how to act the part, and if you were rich, he was a really great President for you.   W. was an imbecile, but at least he was a polished and shiny one, and had enough lifetime politicians around him to make him occasionally sound Presidential.   And THOSE are the BAD ones. 

We are a country that had FDR, Eisenhower, Truman, JFK.   The Great Society of Lyndon Johnson.  Woodrow Wilson guiding us onto the world stage through the tumult of WWI.  Great men.  Great leaders.  

And now, we have this?

Marco Rubio is the little kid who is pissed off that everyone isn't just giving him what he wants.   He's Eric Cartman.   When he lost the Virginia primary the other day, his response was classic.   If only a few of these other people weren't in the race, we would have won.   No shit, Sherlock.   Really?   If only you were the only person in the race, you could have sewn it up already.   And seriously can you look at that whiny little shit and think to yourself, "Wow, he looks like a President".   He strikes me as the kid whose parents divorced and then each tried to buy his love by giving him whatever he wanted and never issuing an ounce of discipline.   I can just see him sitting in a corner screaming to anyone who will listen "But I WANT to be President!!!!   Why can't they just let me have it?!?!!"

Hillary.   Ugh.   She's the most likely winner, and about the only reason I'm truly happy about it is that she'll get to choose a couple of Supreme Court justices.   I look at Hillary the way I assume most Republicans look at George Bush Sr.: with a "meh", a shrug, and a "coulda been worse".    She'll keep the status quo.   She won't make any significant changes, nor will she screw anything up all that bad.   The problem is, people want change.   If anything has been shown by this election cycle, it's that people are tired and frustrated with how things are being done, and they want something different.  She's as status quo as there is.  And she just seems so hollow when standing next to her husband.  Bill is one of the most charismatic people that has ever walked the Earth. Hillary couldn't be charismatic if her life depended on it. She's like Dr. Frankenstein sat in his lab and said, "Let's make a female career politician."   She has no soul.  Meh, could be worse. 

Ted Cruz is Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.  I believe he is truly Evil, and yet, is constantly wrapped up in a "Good Lord Willing..." cloak.  He's the person that goes to church every week, and yet has never done a single act of charity in his life.  He's the type that will tell you how good a Christian he is while looking down in disgust at the homeless person that has the temerity to be in his presence. How does someone so reviled by people in his OWN party get to the point where he has a chance to be President?   Everyone hates this guy.   Lindsey Graham said it best in a tweet last week:  "If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, no one would convict you."  That's a Republican saying that, folks.   This is someone whose sole purpose is to shut down government, regardless of the damage it does to the country.   He would be so bad as President that I'd be willing to dig up the corpse of Ronald Reagan and swear him into office again rather than let this guy win.   He's one of the few people that looked at Antonin Scalia and said to himself, "Nope, not conservative enough".   I could write a dozen blogs on why the Tea Party is terrible for this country, and this is the shining star of that movement. People are looking at Donald Trump like he would be the worst President ever.   I'm no Trump fan by any means, but I'd let Trump serve three terms rather than letting Cruz serve one.   Cruz as President would set this country back 50 years.   At least.  

Speaking of Trump, I might be one of the few really liberal Democrats that don't think he'd be a complete disaster.   I look at Trump in much the same way I look at Hillary.   Meh, could be worse.   Yes, the world would look at him as a joke, and look at us with disdain.   Guess what?   Most of the world already looks at us with disdain.   Yes, he's a blowhard who is completely in love with himself.   So is almost everyone else running.  He's just honest about it.   He wouldn't defund planned parenthood like Cruz, he wouldn't kowtow to the republican establishment like Rubio.   He wouldn't rollback Obamacare.  When he's taken a political stance in the past, it's been fairly middle of the road.  He wouldn't be a great President.  He wouldn't even be a good President.   But I don't think he'd be as terrible as Cruz or Rubio would be, and for that reason I look at him and say, "Meh.  Could be worse."  

Finally, there's Bernie.   Bernie Sanders aligns with me more closely than any other candidate.   Bernie's problem (other than the fact that he's not going to beat Hillary), is that even if he DID get elected President, he wouldn't be able to get anything done.   The system is rigged against him, and no one would be willing to help him make the changes that need to be made.   America is a teenager unwilling to hear what their parents are trying to tell them.   Seriously, Bernie is the parent telling us the hard truth that we don't want to hear.   And we are either the teenager that buries our head in the sand because we don't want to hear it (Democrats) or we're the teenager that gets angry and yells about how wrong the parent is (Republicans).   Either way, a few years down the road, we'll look back and sheepishly apologize because we found out that they were right.    But right now the teenagers aren't going to admit that he's right, and aren't going to allow him to get anything done.   He'd make a handful of good changes, appoint some great justices, and be gone in four years because we wouldn't want to have to make the sacrifices both small (Democrats) and big (Republicans) that the wise old man would ask of us.   We are a Now culture, and Bernie is a big-picture, down-the-road politician.  He's a great man, and if we as a society were ready for him, he'd be a truly great President.   Unfortunately, we're just not ready to feel the Bern.  

Bugs in the Brain...

In an effort to publish more blogs, I've decided to start writing on my phone when I'm at work in the mountains.   I hope this will allow me to both alleviate some boredom at work, and to finally solve my lack of writing here.   We'll see how it goes.   So, welcome to Random Musings 2.0.

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I was reading a story the other day about a company that is doing work towards implementing nanites that would allow your brain instant access to the Internet.   Basically, it would be similar to the scenes in the Matrix, where they would learn Kung fu, or how to fly a helicopter.   If you wanted to learn something, you would be able to have immediate access to everything there is to know about it.

I find this tremendously exciting.   I wish I was twenty years younger, as I fear that by the time this becomes a reality, I'll be dead or too old to really be able to expect to benefit from it.   My guess is that when it does happen, it will be primarily used in younger, healthier bodies, which I don't even possess now.   I'm envious of the people that will be able to take advantage of that technology.

Now, I'm sure many of my half-dozen readers would have many fears about this.   Some of those are certainly justified.   But I like to take the optimistic approach whenever possible.   Obviously, there's a fear that the technology is going to cause physical harm to the person using it.   Either in the form of cancer, stroke, brain aneurisms, etc., or the fear that whoever installs and/or controls the nanites will have the ability to flip some nefarious switch and kill you, or worse yet, turn you into some mindless zombie.   But I believe that the former will be solved before mass consumption by humans becomes reality, and the latter will simply be fear-mongering by the same conservative elements of society that rail against any type of advancement of the species.

I also see many people being worried about issues of privacy.   Both their own, and that of others.   But honestly, this isn't going to change either of those things.   The people that are afraid of their own privacy being violated (i.e. the government using some technology to be able to look inside your head), need to realize that you have no privacy anymore.   Your digital footprint is already available to the government.   Every Google search you've ever run, ever photo you've taken, every bit of porn you've looked at, every embarrassing tidbit of information there is about you on the web, the government can get to it (as can anyone else with enough time and/or money).   As for the privacy of others (i.e. someone stalking someone online, data/identity theft, etc.), once again, they can already do it.   This will allow someone to find things out faster, but it's not going to give them any more information than what they can already find out.  

So, that's the downside.   Now, take a moment to look at the upside to this.   Seriously, I don't think you can possibly overestimate the good that can come from this.

Think of something you've always wanted to do.  Anything at all.   You would now have access to all information on that thing, and be able to do it without fear.   Want to travel to a foreign country, but don't know the language?  Forget the Rosetta Stone programs, you would now be able to learn how to say only the words and phrases that you needed in that moment, rather than trying to learn an entire language.   Want to learn how to play an instrument?   How to fix your car?  How to fix your computer?   It's all right there in your brain, instantly, with the ability to recall any information you need over and over until you get it right.

But seriously, that's just the tip of the iceberg, because that's thinking small.   That's thinking as an individual.   Think societal.  Think global.  Think of the ability to interact as a group with that level of speed and recall.   Hive minds, where you get a half-dozen brilliant people coming up with solutions to problems for communities, for countries, for the world at large.    Institutions will change, because college will no longer be needed.   Why go $200K in debt to get a masters degree when you can access everything you needed for that degree instantly.   Bernie Sanders is campaigning on, among other things, the desire to make college tuition free.   This goes way beyond that.

Right now, the animosity between political parties in this country, and the animosity between different religions globally, make us only think of how we can benefit in the moment.   Politics in general is about the current cycle, and how to maintain accrued power for as long as possible.   One of the ways that is accomplished is by limiting access to knowledge, and driving the conversation forward by focusing on small issues in the grand scheme.   This would eliminate the ability to do that.   This is giving all of the people all of the knowledge.

Some of you probably think that I'm looking at the world with rose colored glasses.   Maybe.   Maybe.   But I like to think that the more knowledge that is out in the world, the better choices people make with it.   You might see a world of drones, where the government feeds information as it sees fit.   I believe that it will be impossible to control information on this scale.   And once that genie is out of the bottle, it's never going back in.   I see the dawn of a new age on the horizon.   I simply hope that I'm around to see it happen.

What I Learned, What I Am Thankful For, and What I'd Like to Forget About 2015

Well, you all know the drill by now.   It’s the first week of January, I just started the 3-Disc Rush Clockwork Angels Live concert, so it must be time for the one and only… What I Learned, What I’m Thankful For, and What I’d Like to Forget, the 2015 Version.  

So pull up a chair, enjoy a glass of wine, and read on as I reflect on my year that was.

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As I am sitting here listening to Rush, I have to start out with the fact that I’m very thankful to have had the opportunity to see Rush live again this year.   It was the 7^th tour I’ve seen them on.   I was especially thankful to get to see this tour, as it is (supposedly) the last time they are ever going to do a full tour.  I’ve been blessed to see them as many times as I have, but I would have been really bummed to miss the 40^th anniversary tour.  

I would like to forget that they didn’t play anything off of my favorite album, and really just cut out what I thought was some of their best music.   But really, after 40 years, they can do whatever they want, and I’ll still enjoy it.  

I’m thankful that Sara was able to see them with me, even though she’s not a big fan.   She’s really the only reason we went to see them, as she bought the tickets months in advance as a surprise for me.   I would have had a hard time justifying the expense, and possibly even talked myself out of going.   But she not only wouldn’t allow that, she also made me by a T-shirt which I wouldn’t have otherwise done. 

I’d like to forget that said T-shirt cost more than both the ticket and t-shirt combined from the first time I saw Rush.  

I’m thankful that any of you are still reading this after me starting with four paragraphs about Rush.  

I learned that Thai Bloom is a really, REALLY amazing Thai food place up in Portland.   Seriously, Thai food loving friends, check it out.   Order the Miang Kum appetizer.   Then continue ordering it until you’re stuffed.   Trust me, you’re welcome.  

I’m thankful that for the second year in a row, we didn’t lose an animal or a family member.   I know that it just means that we are due for a year that we lose half our pets and some close relatives.   But until that happens, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the good luck and health holds out.  

I’d like to forget that I didn’t get the full-time position that I applied with for the county, the first time I’ve actually taken the steps to get a full-time position. 

I’m very, very thankful that I still have an amazing position at a site that I love going to every day.   I sit in the woods, listen to the birds and wildlife, and love the drive every day.   I have said before that I won’t leave this job until something full-time that I will enjoy just as much comes along.   Until then, while I will continue to struggle mightily every month to pay bills, I will rejoice in the fact that I’m incredibly happy going to work where I do.   Happiness means so much to me, it is worth the struggle. 

I learned that I have a new upper limit on the year-end poker feast.   This year, I did 26 courses for 22 people, the most unique dishes that I’ve ever done in one day from out of my galley kitchen. 

I’m thankful that once again I had Kim there to help me as prep-cook extraordinaire, and this year had the added bonus of Sara being there to help set everything up and help do some of the cooking as well.  

I learned that spicy mango shrimp was my favorite new dish of the year.   I swear I could eat that twice a week for the foreseeable future. 

I am thankful that J.J. Abrams didn’t screw up Star Wars.   

I’m thankful that I was able to watch the new Star Wars without a single bit of information on what it was about, without a single spoiler, without anything but the glee that I felt as though I was a teenager again.   I smiled for days. 

I learned, or perhaps re-learned, that effort is so much more important than execution. 

I’d like to forget that I forgot that lesson for a long time.  

I’d like to forget the people who made me forget that lesson.  

I’m thankful that you all allow me to be cryptic on occasion without stopping reading.

I’m thankful that I live in what truly is the golden age of television.   There is so much amazing TV on right now, and given the fact that the movies are now outrageously priced and the quality continues to go down, TV really has surpassed movies for an entertainment experience.   I always give out one or two shows that I think people should be watching.   This year, narrowing it down to that few is truly difficult.   So, trust me, you can’t go wrong with any of the following shows that debuted this year:  Mr. Robot, Deutchland 83, Better Call Saul, Limitless, the Netflix Marvel shows (Daredevil and AKA Jessica Jones), The Man in the High Castle.   And that’s just brand new stuff.   There’s still Archer, Game of Thrones, The Blacklist, House of Cards, Person of Interest, etc. that have been on for years and are amazing.   Too much good TV.

I learned that I can actually go camping, as long as it is solidly “glamping”.   Sara and I went to a 5-day camping event, and I was perfectly comfortable the entire time, thanks to the fact that she Tetris-loaded the minivan to the point that we looked like Lucy driving to the West Coast.   But it’s amazing how much easier it is to be comfortable on a camping trip when you’ve got a king size air mattress with extra bedding on top, a propane bbq, a papasan chair, ample heaters, gourmet meats and cheeses and wines, fresh fruit every morning, and great company.   Really, quite easy to enjoy yourself.  

I learned that dates stuffed with Chevre and wrapped in bacon make a really yummy appetizer. 

I’m thankful that I suffered from anxiety and depression much less this year.  Perhaps it is simply coming to terms with the fact that I’m never going to have any money, perhaps it was just my body finally adapting as it has always done in the past, perhaps it was something else entirely, but whatever it was, I had a better year in 2015 than I had in the previous 3-4 years.  

I’d like to forget that I read a LOT less books this year than I have at any point probably since college.   That is something that I will definitely change in 2016.  

I don’t say it nearly often enough, and never as loudly as I should, but I’m really thankful for Sara.   She was unfortunate enough to come into my life when I was absolutely broken, mentally and emotionally.   My previous two relationships really fucked me up, I had lost my job of 16 years 9-months prior to meeting her, and I was just a complete wreck.   She has never gotten the whole of me as a man or as a partner.   And yet she continues to love me, support me, and give me the care and understanding that I don’t truly deserve.   I do a piss-poor job of showing how much she means to me most of the time, but I can’t even begin to express how thankful I am for her being in my life. 

I learned that it is possible to make an absolutely perfect sandwich.   I didn’t make it.   I’m good, but not this good.   If you’re ever in Lincoln City, go to a place called Hearth and Table.   They change their menu every day, so you might not get lucky, but if they have the BLT available, order it.   Don’t even think twice about the fact that you’re paying $15 for a BLT.   Trust me, you will want to savor every bite.   I would have paid $30 for it, and not batted an eye.   They make the bacon on site.   Fresh heirloom tomatoes, that they roast on site, and then do something to make them come out with this sweet glaze on them.   Perfectly toasted bread.   It is the best sandwich I have ever eaten, one of the best meals I have ever eaten.   And I’m a serious foodie, folks.   You have no idea how good this was.   Sara made the highly unfortunate mistake of taking a bite of it.   She then looked at her ham and brie sandwich (which was really quite good as well), and basically wasn’t hungry anymore.   One bite of my sandwich ruined her meal because she wasn’t eating the same thing.   Yes, it truly is that good. 

I’d like to forget the fact that Walt Whitson passed away this year, before I was able to repair our friendship.   Walt was one of the original players at “The Rob”, and came every week for many years.   In 2014, we had a big falling out over something relatively trivial.   I reached out a few times to try to repair the relationship, but wasn’t ever able to do so.   And then, in the blink of an eye, he was gone.   I miss his friendship, and his smile, and wish so much that we could have repaired the damage that was done before he was gone. 

I learned how to make these amazing little dark chocolate and toffee truffles.   So very, very yummy.  

I’m thankful that my dad’s fear of death continues to overpower his failing body, and he’s still around.   He looks awful, feels awful, and is generally miserable every waking moment of every day.   But he’s still extremely scared of dying, so he keeps on ticking.  

I’d like to forget that my dad has managed to alienate or piss off all of his friends and family, so that I was stuck driving 300 miles in a double round trip to Florence every time he needed to go to the doctor.  

I’d like to forget that I did a piss-poor job of keeping up on coupons this year, and didn’t save nearly as much as I should have. 

Max would like me to say that he’s quite thankful for my lap being nice and warm as I type this out.  

I am extremely thankful to Alex and Jen for paying to repair our hot tub.   It sat unused for almost 6-months because we just really couldn’t afford to get it fixed.   But in a very magnanimous gesture, they paid for the repairs, and we are both so thrilled to be able to use it regularly again.  

I’m thankful that Oregon legalized marijuana.   I don’t smoke.   I’ve never even taken a single puff of the stuff, as I find the smell horrendous.   But it’s really a no-brainer to legalize it.   And Sara loves it, and is starting to make a career out of making edibles, so that hopefully we can be a little more stable.   I also think that Oregon will be the Napa Valley of weed once it’s legal nationwide.  

As long as we’re on the political front, I’ll also say that I’m quite happy that marriage equality is finally, FINALLY here for all of my gay and lesbian friends.   Congrats, now you can all be as miserable as my heterosexual married friends.  

I’m thankful that after two years of struggling, the crowds at my weekly poker tournament have finally started to get back to a respectable level.   It was stressful to have only a few people here every week, but now we’re getting back to having 13-15 people here, with occasionally bigger crowds.   It is quite nice to see. 

I’m very thankful for someone anonymously donating a big box of food from the local Co-op to Sara and I.   Have no idea who it was, but we got a whole lot of yummy vegetables from it.  

On that note, I’m thankful that Sara eked out a win against the yard this year.   She’ll be upset that I don’t describe it as a resounding victory, but the truth is, she was gone for the first half of the year, and well into the summer.   By the time she was home, there wasn’t much to be done.   But, we did get food from our garden, and I ate a LOT of fresh strawberries.   For that reason alone, I’ll call it a victory.  

I’d like to forget that Sara was gone for almost the entire first half of the year.   It was one thing after another, some good, much of it bad.   But the worst part was simply having an empty house for weeks and even months at a time. 

I’m thankful for the new friends that I made this year.   I’m not going to name you, because I’d undoubtedly forget someone, and then feel bad for doing so.   But you’re all wonderful, and I’m glad to have you as a part of my life going forward.  

I’m thankful that I was able to find another fun poker tournament here in town that doesn’t charge a rake, and is filled primarily with terrible players that graciously allow me to cash nearly every month.   Thank you, Brew N’ Cue for being populated with really friendly people that I like being around, who as an added bonus, are all just donating money to me every month.  

I’d like to forget that it took almost 18-months for me to get the paperwork transferred over on my mom’s car.  

I’m thankful that I finally found the one woman at the DMV who actually knew what she was doing, and was able to get me the paperwork that I needed to get everything worked out.  

I’d like to forget that I’m in absolutely terrible shape after a couple of years of really just abusing my body.   When your triglycerides are so high that they can’t get an accurate reading on your cholesterol, that’s really never a good sign.   Here’s to hoping that the fact that I’m feeling better mentally will allow me to start treating myself a little better physically. 

I’m thankful for Ubon Thai here in town.   Nicest people, and really amazing food.   Going to lunch there in 12 hours or so. 

I’m thankful that I was able to see Courtney when she came to Oregon.  

I learned that the truly amazing history podcaster Dan Carlin, lives in Eugene.   If you like history, check out his podcast, Hardcore History.   This is unlike anything else you’ve ever heard.   The guy is really outstanding.   I’ve been listening to him for years now, and not until this week did I find out that not only does he live in the same town as me, but that he moved from Southern California at about the same time that I did.  

The amount of things that I’ve learned from that podcast would take up another column altogether.  

I mentioned it last year, but it seems that I was a little early.   I’m thankful that the Terry Brooks Shannara books are finally being made into a TV show.   I’m wary that it is on MTV, quite wary.   But the previews so far look pretty amazing, and I’m looking forward to the premiere this week.   Hopefully they don’t screw it up. 

I learned that the single greatest deal in all food shopping is the bulk spice section at Winco.   If you go buy a new jar of say, ground ginger, it’ll run you $5-7, depending on where you get it.   I filled two bottles for 29 cents.   I’m never buying spice anywhere else again.  

I’ve often avoided shopping at Winco because it’s this crazy madhouse and a pain in the ass to get around.   But I finally found the sweet spot.   10:30pm on a weeknight.   Hardly any customers, and if you get done in under an hour, the crazy restockers aren’t flying around with the pallet jacks running you out of the aisles.  

I’m thankful that we were able to go to Kinkfest this year (thanks again Dani).   We had a blast, and will be doing our best to find the money to go every year possible from now on.  

I say it almost every year, but I’m thankful for this Rush set, it really is an awesome album. 

I’m thankful that I was able to do a New Food Night this year for my poker people, and that I was able to be one of the two winners.   This allowed me to give some small payback to Pat for all of the work he’s done for me over the years, and the fact that he was able to finally get the crazy bitch of an ex- to start paying back some small portion of the money she cost me.   It’s not much, and she’ll basically be paying me until one or the other of us is dead, thanks to the wonderful deal that Pat worked out.   But every little bit helps, and the sense of satisfaction I get every month when the check shows up in the mail is worth nearly as much as the money.  Thanks again, Pat. 

I’d still like to forget that AIPCO is gone. 

I’d also still like to forget that Diablo’s is gone. 

I’m thankful for the people who came to my birthday party this year, including Michelle who drove 5-hours to hang out for a few hours and then drive back.   You are a truly wonderful woman that I’m glad to have as a part (no matter how small) of my life.   I hope to see you again at least once or twice this year, and hopefully you can stay for like, a weekend or so.  

I’d like to forget that I didn’t see Dani or Adora nearly enough this year.   

I’m thankful that I have enjoyed relatively good health for the year.  

I learned that if used regularly, coconut oil helps my rosacea quite a bit. 

I’d like to forget that I rarely remember to use said coconut oil regularly. 

I’m thankful that we were able to attend the Festival of Eugene this year, where Sara was finally able to see Bulls on Parade live.  

I learned at that festival, that Three Forks Wok is back and doing catering at festivals and such.   I am very thankful for this, as I have missed their food very much. 

I’m thankful for the truly wonderful customers that I have at my site.   I’m very fortunate to have almost no assholes that come in on a regular basis, and almost everyone that I deal with on a daily basis is just a kind and sweet person.  

I learned that Costco has the best rotisserie chicken.   It’s like 50% bigger than anywhere else you can buy one, and it costs $4.99.  

I also learned that when we do get one of those, after we’ve split one and had a full meal, I can then strip the rest of it down to the bone, and have enough chicken left over to make a full batch of chicken enchiladas.   

I’m thankful that Clive Barker finally wrote another book starring what is easily the most popular character he’s ever created, Pinhead, and that he was able to give him a proper send off.   If you’ve liked the Hellraiser movies (or the books that they were based on), check out The Scarlet Gospels, which also has Harry D’amour, probably his second most popular character (who is woefully inadequate in the movies).  

I learned that it is sometimes worth it to go to estate sales on the first day.   We’ve always gone on the last day, because everything is half-off.   But we hit a couple of them right when they opened this year, and actually found a few really amazing deals.  

I’d like to forget that I bought no art this year.  

I’m thankful that I was able to go to a couple of museums, and a few art shows/festivals, and was able to SEE quite a bit of good art this year. 

I’d like to forget that I’m failing miserably at writing cards to people.   I was really good at it a few years ago, but the past couple of years, haven’t gotten anything out at all.   It is my familiar refrain, that I plan on doing more of that this year. 

I’d like to forget that I’ve also been terrible at writing blogs.   No excuses, just a combination of writers block and laziness.   But I will endeavor to get better.  

I learned how to save things on Facebook without sharing them.   I’m sure many of you have known how to do this forever, but I didn’t.   And I refused to share every recipe or cool looking food thing simply to that I could theoretically refer to it at some future date.   This has made me so happy to be able to keep all the cool looking recipes that I want to try all in one place.  

I’d like to forget that I live in a country where Donald Trump is the leading Republican candidate for President.   He won’t get it, I’m pretty sure, but the simple fact that he’s still leading this far into the process scares me.   Of course, the people he’s ahead of scare me even more, so maybe it’s not such a bad thing.  

I’m thankful that I got a couple of fairly substantial cheesecake orders over the last two months of the year.   Doug, Gwynne, Tony and others, thank you so much.   You help pay the bills, and I appreciate it more than you know.   Everyone else, order more cheesecakes.   Or cookies.   Either one.   You know you want to.   They’re awesome, and I will ship them anywhere.  

I’m thankful to all the people who are still willing to play Words With Friends with me.   Aline and Brad, you’re the best players I go against regularly, even if sometimes you don’t feel like it.   Trust me, you’re both very good.   I’m actually slowly working on an eBook to teach strategy and tips/tricks.  

I’d like to forget that I didn’t coach again this year.   But I’m thankful that I will be back to doing it at least part-time in 2016.   My work schedule doesn’t allow me to do it full-time, and Sara isn’t thrilled when I’m gone that much either.   But I will be doing some work with pitchers again this year for the first time in a few years.   I’ve missed it. 

I’m thankful that (knock on wood) it seems as though the Curse of Rob and Sara’s vacations seems to be over.   We actually went out of town twice in 2015 (the “glamping” trip, and a few days after Christmas), and both times made it to our destination, through the trip, and home without any major problems befalling us.   It took us five years, but we finally got full trips without major incident.  

I’d like to forget that I didn’t play golf a single time all year.   I hit a few balls up at my site, but that’s it.   I miss golf. 

I’d like to forget that I did almost no hiking this year.   Failure on my part for sure, but it’s been tough without a regular hiking buddy since Courtney left town.   (And for those of you wondering, Sara and I are totally opposite hikers—I’m a destination hiker, the type that goes to a trail that has a waterfall at the end, and just hikes to the waterfall and then spends time relaxing and enjoying it;  Sara is a scenery hiker, the type that just sort of wanders along a trail, looking at absolutely everything along the way, not really caring if/when she gets to whatever the final destination is—Neither is a bad thing, but when you try to mix the two together, we both end up frustrated).  

I learned that anytime I need a quick pick-me-up, I just have to type in “Nighttime Daytime” to YouTube.   Can’t help but smile every single time.  

I learned that OK Go’s video for This Too Shall Pass – Rube Goldberg Machine is the coolest video ever made.   Seriously, go check it out right now.   I’ll wait.   See, I told you.   Aren’t you glad you took that 4-minute detour?  

I’m thankful I got to watch the lunar eclipse in its entirety this year.   Was a fun night just sitting in the park near my house with Sara and the dogs, watching the whole thing from start to finish.   We’re nerds, but I’d rather spend an evening doing that than almost anything else. 

I’d like to forget that Fox now owns National Geographic.   And that they fired most of the staff right after taking over.   I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.   America, this is why we can’t have nice things.  

I’m thankful that I was able to sit in a luxury box and watch an Em’s game this year.   It’s quite cool when friends of friends have access to really cool stuff, and you get to come along on the coattails. 

I’m thankful that Sara and I were able to celebrate our fifth anniversary at the Whiteaker Block Party this year (where we had our first date).   And that one of my favorite local bands, Cash Only, was there playing.   Sara had never seen them before, so that was a treat.  

I learned that when it doesn’t rain for like, four months straight, that ants become insidious.   Seriously, getting rid of them this summer was a constant battle for weeks.   And in my head, all I could hear over and over was Archer’s voice saying “Do you want ants?   Because THAT’S how you get ants!!!!”  

I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to see Quixotic at the Hult Center this year.   It’s kind of like a poor man’s Cirque Du Soleil.   But thanks to Wild Card Wednesday, we were able to go for cheap and have a nice night out.  

I learned at that show that if you post where you’re sitting on Facebook, you end up with a whole lot of friends popping up and saying hello, as we had over a half-dozen friends within a few rows of us.  

I learned that if you take a dog who has never been to the beach, and let him run wild on the sand, that he REALLY REALLY enjoys himself.   We were petsitting one of our favorite animals, and we took him to the beach and he went crazy.   Found out after returning him that he’d never seen the ocean before, so that explained a little bit of the excitement.  

I’m so very, very thankful for John Oliver.   I thought Jon Stewart was great at cutting through the bullshit and giving you news the way it should be presented, but John Oliver is on another level altogether.   So common sense insightful, and just unrelenting on calling people out on their bullshit.  

I learned AND am thankful for the fact that I haven’t really changed how I look in almost 10 years.   I did this thing where it takes pictures from your profile from various years and shows how you’ve changed.   My picture from 2007 looks pretty much identical to how I look right now.   I’m the new Dick Clark. I’m going to look exactly the same right up until I have a massive stroke, and then age 40 years in the course of six months, and then die shortly after.   But hey, I’ll take it. 

I learned how to make some really yummy bar cookies this year.   And hope to learn a bunch more flavors in the coming year.  

Finally, I’m so very, VERY thankful for each and every one of you.   My life is a richer, more fulfilling place because you all occupy a part of it.   I wouldn’t have made it this far, or been nearly as happy without all of you in my life.   Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for bringing me smiles every day.  

And thank you for any of you that were able to make it through this whole thing.  It’s at 10 pages on MS Word, and I’m almost through the third disc of this concert, so I should wrap up now.   I hope you’ve all enjoyed the portion of your day that I just stole.   I love you all, and hope to see you in the coming year.