So, I’m writing this blog both to help sort things out in my own head, as well as to ask the opinion of a few people who are not emotionally or financially invested in the decision-making process that is going to help determine where Sara and I move to (or if we move at all). As most (all?) of you know, I was offered a job in Salt Lake City with TSA. When I posted that information on facebook with the very simple query of whether or not I should take that job or stay in Eugene where I’m happy and have strong ties to friends, family and community (but no job and no prospects of “career”), the response was overwhelmingly that I should move. But it was also, as I said, the very simple “one variable” equation. The truth is that SLC might be impossible to do for financial reasons (we’ll get to that), and that before making the decision to go there, I really needed to sit down and figure out more than that single variable. This is the much longer, thought out version of the choice that lay before us.
This will be long, and not nearly as fun to read as my year end blog. If you don’t have it in you to put in the time, I certainly won’t hold it against you. You are all good friends, I value all of your advice, and I hope to hear from each of you what you think. I chose each of you (well, the one’s who got the email from me directing you here; if you found it on your own, well, bully for you! and I’ll still take your opinion into account), because you have no vested interest, and can offer me the sort of sound advice that only impartial observers can.
So, here is the case for and against each of my three options:
Eugene:
Wow, we really love it here. It’s home. It’s where I’ve spent the last 18 ½ years of my life, where I’ve owned my home for the last 12 years, and the place that I truly never thought I would leave. Sara has moved around for much of her adult life, and for the first time has someone and someplace that she wants to call home. As far as non-financial comfort goes, there is no better choice for us.
Eugene has a few things on the “pro” side of the ledger when it comes to finances as well. The biggest of these is poker. I have both AIPCO and my home game, “The Rob”, which are based here. Going back four years (a suitable amount of time to factor in both good and bad years), I have averaged $450 a month from those two sources. That’s all cash, non-taxed, so roughly equivalent to $625 or so from “real” jobs. I also have the cheesecake business with the restaurant down the road, which between what I sell directly to them, and what I sell to friends as “overstock” from the restaurant orders comes out to another $100 a month, also cash. So, another $140 or so, giving me the equivalent of roughly $750 a month worth of income that will be lost if I leave the area. That money needs to be accounted for in any decision.
Poker is also one of my only social outlets, and a major part of my life. Speaking of social outlets, not all of you know this (and if you’re uncomfortable with it, I do apologize), but I’m active and involved in the kink community here in Eugene as well. I publicly scene at the local Fetish Balls. I enjoy performing there, and it is most definitely a part of Sara’s and my life here, both publicly and privately. We are able to be open and honest about it because Eugene is such an open and honest place to live. It’s just another part of the community. I am paid a nominal amount for performing at the Balls, but it isn’t enough money to make much of a difference either way. Having BDSM as a part of our lives isn’t something that we shout from the rooftops, but neither is it something that we ever have to hide. Living here, we don’t generally need to worry about ramifications of sharing that knowledge with the wrong person.
There are things that I do have in Eugene that I can find elsewhere: bowling, coaching Babe Ruth baseball, etc., but I am more deeply rooted in those communities here, simply because I’ve been doing it for so long here.
In the short term, Sara will make less money here. However, her ideal scenario is to change careers into a few different areas (Yoga instruction, holistic/naturopathic medicine) that are both accessible and active here. The problem is that they require quite a bit of money, and that leads us into the crux of the problem with Eugene.
I can’t get a job. Even if I do get a job, it is likely to be something that pays $12 an hour or less, has little to no benefits, and has little to no opportunity to turn into a “career”. Obviously, it would have been great if TSA would have brought me on here, as all of this would be a moot point. But thanks to their changed hiring guidelines, and the brutal Eugene economy, I missed out by a few spots on getting hired here.
I’ve tried to find work for 2 ½ years here. I’ve put in over 500 applications, and had over 40 interviews. I’ve been qualified or overqualified for all of those jobs, and I don’t have anything to show for it. I had a group interview at one point last year where I thought I would finally be able to show how much better I was than the other applicants, and walked out depressed because I was only the fourth or fifth most overqualified person in the room. (Really, a lawyer and a teacher applying for an entry-level social work position?)
The marketplace is brutal, and doesn’t look to be getting better. And the longer I’m out of the workplace, the harder it is for me to find work. I’ll be underpaid at nearly any job I can find in the short term.
If I move, I’ll need to rent my house. I hopefully have two friends that are going to move in, but if they don’t, I’ve recently come to find that the rental market here is brutal as well. A good friend just told me that it took him nearly 6 months, and three lowered offers, to rent out a house similar to mine, for an amount that would just barely cover my mortgage. I can’t afford to eat this house payment for more than a month or so.
It’s expensive to live in Eugene. Food is high, gas is high, utilities are high, and wages are low. Poker offsets some of that, cheesecakes help, but without a decent job as well, we can’t survive.
Utah:
Utah only has two things going for it, but on a scale of 1-10, they’re a 10. I’ll never have to get another job for the rest of my life. TSA will be a career, and because I’m not a complete idiot, I’ll never have to worry about getting fired. It’s also full federal benefits from day one. I’ve never even sniffed a benefits package like what I’d have there. But other than those two things, there isn’t much to lure us there. There is no question it’s a great job, and if it had been offered to me in Eugene, I would have been set for life.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t offered it in Eugene, I was offered it in SLC. The problem with the TSA job is that its only guaranteed 20 hours a week. I spoke this morning with the hiring coordinator there, to get a feel for how easy it would be to pick up extra hours. You can’t just “pick up” someone’s shift if they call in sick, take a vacation, etc. They have to be offering overtime, which is only done in peak seasons, or when they’re understaffed. Right now they’re understaffed, but they are in a massive hiring binge (I’d be the third of five or six classes of employees hired), and she said that once that’s done, they’re not going to be short on employees at all. Full-time positions are awarded based upon seniority, and there is a long list of people waiting for them.
So, basically, while long-term, I’d be set with TSA (Eventually I could transfer or accept a promotion elsewhere), in the short-term, it would be like having a job that paid less than full-time minimum wage.
On top of that, it is one of the few places we’ve ever found that Sara’s fall back career position (she’s been a vet tech most of her life), isn’t a slam dunk for her to get a job. The last time she changed clinics in Eugene, it took her two hours to find a new job. We dropped off two resumes, and before dropping off a third, the second place called her back and hired her on the spot. But for whatever reason, there’s very little marketplace for her in SLC. If she can’t get a job before we were to move, we can’t survive there financially.
I’d be giving up all poker income. There are a few “poker houses” there, just as there are in Eugene. I wouldn’t play at them for the same reason I don’t play at them here, the house always wins. They take far too much money as a “rake”, and the games are unbeatable from a player standpoint. They are decent enough social outlets, but not anything that I could make money at, no matter how good I am.
Sara wouldn’t be able to change careers, as we’d be struggling just to survive financially for a few years at least. It would take us somewhere in the neighborhood of $5-$6K to move there, once all moving, storage, snow tires, etc. costs are figured in.
Rent is cheaper, gas/food/utilities are cheaper, but we’d be losing money every month on the difference between my mortgage, the rental income being charged here, and what we’d be paying in rent there. So most of that is a wash. I would also be an absentee landlord, which would make it much more difficult if there was any problem with the house in Eugene.
While there is a decent enough kink community in Utah, it is all “underground”. We would not be thrilled at having to hide that part of our lives. Sara is also basically a Nouveau hippy, and we’re not sure how well the tye-dye clothing and flowers in the hair will go over there.
And of course, there’s this:
Portland:
Our third choice is moving to Portland. In many ways this seems like the best choice, but in other ways, the worst. The biggest advantage to Portland is that from a wage standpoint, we’d be better off there than anywhere else. Far ahead in the short-term, and possibly ahead in the long-term. Sara would be able to make double what she’s making now, maybe more once overtime is figured in. She would be working a lot harder, and not as happy because of it, but we’d not be struggling for money.
It would be a mixed bag for me financially. I don’t have a job waiting for me there, but the marketplace is considerably bigger, and I can’t imagine being out of work for long. Even if I take a crappy $10-12 an hour gig, combined with Sara’s income, we’d be making far more than either Eugene or SLC. But, I wouldn’t necessarily have a “career” either.
One of our biggest fears in all of this is that neither of us ever wants to go through this again. My last job was a crappy job, but it paid well enough, my boss was great, and the benefits were mediocre but serviceable. I stayed there for 16 years out of a combination of comfort and loyalty to my boss. But it certainly wasn’t a “career” and in the end, the industry turned and I was out of work. I would hate to go to work for someplace, in any industry, where that happened again in 10 years. I do not want to be doing this at 50. That’s the allure of TSA, and the fear with anything else. I’m a great employee. In 16 years at my last job, I missed two days of work. I have a very high IQ, a strong work ethic, and can work individually or in a team. I’m self-motivated and secure in myself and my decisions. I’ll thrive in any industry. But if that industry collapses around me, there’s not much I can do about it. TSA isn’t going anywhere, I can’t say that about many other jobs.
I would retain the AIPCO side of poker, as I’d simply commute down to Eugene on that third Friday every month, and be able to play. I would lose my weekly home game, but have enough poker playing friends in Portland that I would most likely be able to have regular play up there as well. It would take a while to generate the income that I do here, simply because it would take a while to learn the players tendencies. But it would be available.
Socially, both kink and everything else would be far better up in Portland. There is much more to do than there is in Eugene, and far more people to do it with. I’m not much of a big city person any more (I loathe when I have to travel back to SoCal for any reason), but Portland has a much smaller feel than most cities its size. Sara and I both have ample friends and family in Portland, and would easily be able to call it home.
I would be closer to the house in Eugene if anything were to go wrong here.
Sara would probably be able to switch careers more readily in Portland, but it would still take some time as we’d have to get me settled into something that paid well, and get out from the up front debt of moving, neither of which would be immediate, but probably would happen quicker than either of the other two places.
Portland is also easily the most expensive of the three places to live. We’d lose a few hundred a month on the mortgage/rent/rent; gas/food/utilities are higher there; I’d have the added cost of gas to/from Eugene in order to keep the poker (and possibly cheesecake) income coming in. But, we’d also be making the most money of the three.
The biggest problem with Portland is that it combines the negatives of Eugene and SLC. We’d still incur the moving costs (smaller because of a smaller distance, and no need for snow tires or some of the other things needed for Utah), but they would be paired with the career uncertainty of Eugene.
Summary: So there you have it, our conundrum. We’ve been in a daze for the last week just trying to figure it all out. Sara has been taking it very hard, and I’ve been more lost than my usual self (although it has focused me pretty well at the poker tables).
I would love to hear any of your thoughts on what YOU think is the best option and why. As I said before, I value all of your input. I’ve included all of the friends I have that have that intuitive/empathic/instinct based compass inside of them, and I ask you all to question that side of yourself and let me know what it says.
IMPORTANT: remember that the email that brought you here in the first place was a GROUP email. Any responses sent to that will go to everyone in the group. So if you have private advice, suggestions, comments, please send them in a separate email, either on facebook, or directly to me at foxmuldur@aol.com.
Thank you all for taking the time to get through this. I appreciate your support and love.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
What I Learned, the 2011 version...
Well, I’ve cranked up the Rush—Different Stages Live 2-Disc set, because I learned two years ago, that it takes exactly that long to write this column. Yes, it’s time once again for my Things I’ve Learned, I’m Thankful For, and Would Like to Forget blog. Featuring: 2011!
As always, I am most thankful for my friends. Those of you who are actually taking the time to read this most of all, as I know that you could be doing any of a number of things with the next 10-20 minutes of your life, and by choosing to read this blog, I truly feel special.
I am thankful for the year that I had in poker. 9 of 12 final tables at AIPCO. 67% cash rate at my Tuesday night game. About $12K in winnings. Player of the Year at both AIPCO and “The Rob”. I seriously doubt I will ever have that type of year again, and am thankful for being able to have experienced it once in my lifetime.
I’m thankful for Chance, once again, making it through another year. She looks awful. Diabetic. Losing her sight. Bad hip that slips out on her occasionally. But she’s still happy. She still comes running every time I sit down to eat, hoping that I’ll throw her some meat or cheese. She sleeps, eats and shits. That’s her life, and by God, if we’re all so lucky as to live as long (relatively) as she has, we’ll all be happy to keep going just as she does.
I’m thankful for our new cat Isis.
I learned that Max doesn’t intimidate every cat on the planet.
I’m thankful for the opportunity to watch Isis kick Max’s ass, as after years of watching him terrorize every other cat we’ve had in the house, it was so much fun to see one not back down to him.
Isis would like to thank Max for being her bitch.
Chance would like to thank Isis for making Max her bitch, and getting him to stop picking on her.
I am thankful for the glory that was Game of Thrones on HBO. I really didn’t see how they were going to get those books into such a short season (and don’t know how they’ll continue to do so since the books get longer and longer). But season one, which was basically book one, did a pretty damn good job. And Peter Dinklage was absolutely amazing as Tyrion Lannister.
I am thankful for a new book in the series coming out this year. Now, how about not waiting 7 years for the next one, eh, Mr. Martin?
I learned that the only way it works for me to have a girlfriend move in with me is to just tell her not to have a day that she’s going to move in. Rather, just keep moving things in slowly over the course of a few months, until she’s actually living here full time without me knowing it.
I’m thankful that Sara was willing to actually consent to doing it that way.
I’d like to forget that I’m still unemployed. I am hopeful that shortly after publishing this post, that I will get news from TSA that I’m hired out at the airport. But after 2 ½ years, I’m a little tired of not working. Don’t get me wrong, I still retire tomorrow if I hit the lottery. But no money and no work is not a great combination.
I’m thankful to Randy Lott, Steve Hartsock, and myself for coming up with the best new cheesecake flavors of the year: Apricot Brandy, Chocolate-Raspberry-Macadamia Nut, and Dark Chocolate with Candied Walnuts, respectively.
I learned that Tony is actually capable of losing the year end tournament at “The Rob”. First time in five years that he hasn’t walked away with the trophy. Don’t worry, sir, I know that I’m only a temporary placeholder.
I’m thankful for winning the year-end tournament at “The Rob”, despite being too tired to see my cards properly after cooking a 16-course meal for 16 people.
I learned that “chi” or energy flow actually exists, and isn’t just a pile of “new age mumbo jumbo”. Having spent most of my life as a Humian empiricist, who basically only believes in things that he can experience first hand, I would have discounted its existence until this year. But thanks to a wonderful experience with someone at a Fetish Night, I had my head blown back in a way I never thought possible. I’m thankful to Taralynn for providing that experience, and becoming a good friend over the rest of the year.
I am thankful for the new friends that I made this year, both online and in real life, and to those with whom I have reconnected.
I would like to forget the passing of friends and family who were taken too soon in the previous year. But at the same time, I am thankful that I’m able to remember good times with all of them.
Along those lines, I learned that one of my favorite artists, Ed Vliek, passed away last year. I couldn’t find much outside of an obituary in a Michigan newspaper, and on the off chance that someone reading this blog knows more about how he died, I would very much like the info.
I’m thankful to own some of Ed’s finest work, and that his memory will always live on through his outstanding photography.
I learned that St. Vincent De Paul is the greatest bookstore ever. $2.50 for first edition hardcover books. Or, if you’re really lucky, you hit them up on the one or two sales that they have each year, and get them for $1.25. My Elmore Leonard collection grew by leaps and bounds thanks to SVDP. It’s like the golden days of Powell’s, when Dave had his sister’s employee discount card, and I’d walk out with two or three shopping bags full of books. Wheeeeeeeee!!
I both learned and would like to forget that my writing is almost hardwired to my state of mind. That when I’m depressed, I find it to be nearly impossible to write. This became evident as the year wore on, the unemployment ran out, and the fear of the future turned to depression about the state of my life. I’m coming out of it, regardless of TSA’s decision, but it was a difficult few months there, and my blogging slowed to a non-existent crawl for much of the year. I do hope to remedy that situation this year, but it will be a slow buildup, not a faucet turning on.
I am thankful for the people who persevered at Scrabble enough to start winning a few games here and there. I know I’m not much fun to play most of the time, but Karen, Aline, and Erin, you all took games from me this year, congrats.
I’d like to forget that I had friends who had years far worse than mine this year. You all know who you are, and I don’t need to single any of you out. I truly hope that 2012 brings us ALL much luck, love and good tidings.
I’m thankful for the guilty pleasure that is Once Upon a Time. Yes, it’s trash TV. But it’s FUN, too. I mean, not everything can be Breaking Bad. And if it’s going to be trash, at least it can be worth watching.
I’m thankful for the return to television of Beavis and Butthead. So many years later, and they still have their finger on the pulse of pop culture and all that needs mocking.
I learned of lots of new music this year, and yes, I realize that much of it has been around for a while. I’m not nearly the music snob that others are, but when it’s new to me, I’m still thankful. So thank you Yellowcard, 30 Seconds To Mars, Arcade Fire, The XX, Skillet, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Miike Snow, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Kelly Joe Phelps, Florence and the Machine, Sleepy Joe Estes, Band of Horses, Chevelle, Adele, and the people whose music I loved but didn’t know who sang the songs: Anna Nalick, Missy Higgins, and Bowling for Soup.
I would like to forget that there are people in the world who are capable of doing some of the things that I saw in the news just in the last week. Yes, I’m thinking of you woman who put her baby in the spin cycle of the washer. Yes, I’m thinking of you, assholes who put an M80 into the mouth of a dog. That whole Eye-for-an-Eye thing looks better to me all the time.
I’m thankful to have actually landed some cooking gigs this year. Would love to have it happen more often.
I learned that Eugene really doesn’t have any good neighborhoods for Christmas Lights. Sara and I drove around for hours, hitting up almost every corner in town, and outside of just a random street here or there with a few cool houses on it, there really isn’t much to see in this town.
I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to drive around looking for them anyway.
I learned that the crazy French chick that opened for Vagabond Opera at the Steampunk convention in Portland was truly awful. I mean, an entire song dedicated to garlic? Really?
I learned that when you fill my old plastic Elvira Halloween cup to the top with spare change, it comes to just about $100 every time.
I’m thankful for having deep cleaned my desk this winter, and finding about five envelopes full of great old pictures, two pairs of long missing sunglasses, some artwork, and other assorted things I thought I had lost. Geez, I should do this more often.
I’m thankful to once again have had the great status updates between Kate and David this year, congrats on the impending nuptials. I’d also like to single out the updates from Karen Norton too. All of you are an inspiration to people all over as to just how great love really can, and SHOULD, be for everyone.
I learned that the Republican party, at least on the national level, is even more dysfunctional than the Democrats. They have exactly ONE candidate who has a shot to beat Obama, and that’s Mitt Romney. He’s a centrist, he’s rich and a great fundraiser, he’s been thoroughly vetted after this much time in the spotlight, he has no real issues other than being Mormon. So what do they do? They keep throwing up the flavor of the “weak”, and getting them shot down. I mean, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have GOT to be saying, “Please let it be Santorum!”
I’d like to forget how depressing the movie Inside Job is. For those of you who haven’t seen it, you should, even though you’ll want to break your TV by the end of it. Perhaps the only time in my life that I’ve truly felt as though I had lost all hope for a better future.
I’m thankful for the Occupy movements. Despite the fact that 99% of the 99% don’t know what they want to say, or how to say it; despite not being on the same page most of the time; despite having little to no ability to affect the change you want to see—you still became a global phenomenon and at least shone a light on the problems for a little while. I don’t know if anything substantial will come of it, but I’m glad it happened.
I learned, about 7 years later than many people, that Supernatural is kind of a cool TV show.
I learned that formspring is about the coolest timesuck of a website if you like to write. You can find me on there as foxmuldur if you care to ask and/or answer questions.
I’m thankful that I finally have given up all facebook games. I still play Scrabble and Words with Friends, but do so through my phone. No more Mafia Wars, Franchise Football, or anything else.
I learned that the former USSR has now surpassed Japan as far as my blog followers. Russia is #2, Ukraine #4, and Serbia #5 for page views. I need to post more often. Sorry Comrades, I will get more up there for you.
I learned that Science Pub is a great way to kill a Thursday night. Those of you in the Eugene area, it’s this Thursday at Cozmic Pizza. Trust me, you’ll like it. Beer, pizza, cute nerdy chicks talking science, what more could you want? It’s like The Big Bang Theory in real life.
I’m so thankful for the year of quotes that Charlie Sheen delivered. So much fun.
I learned that animalsbeingdicks.com is an absolutely awesome timesuck.
I’m thankful that I was able to get back into sending mass quantities of Christmas cards this year. I still don’t have much holiday spirit, and probably won’t until I’m in a better spot in my own life, but it was nice going into the post office with an obscene amount of cards again. If you DIDN’T get one, it’s because I don’t have your address. Send me an email with your address, and you’ll get the Dreaded Christmas Letter next year, I promise. And maybe a random card this year just because.
I’d like to forget what a poor job I did at getting out random cards this year. Bad Rob!
I’d like to forget what a crappy job I did at working out this year too. Meh.
I’m thankful for Sara having taken over the yard, and starting the transformation from “large area of giant weeds” to “landscaped area behind house”. I know that after 10 years of neglect and/or abuse, it will take a while. But the first round goes to Sara, after near unanimous decisions for the yard in previous years.
I’d like to forget that online poker was shut down in April. After two years of unemployment, my one legitimate source of income was taken away from me. I’m not a stellar player, but I could pretty easily pull down $20-$30 an hour on a regular basis. I didn’t WANT to do it full time (no benefits, high stress, bad for my health), but it WAS going to be my fall back position after unemployment ran out. Alas, once again, the government felt it necessary to regulate my morality, rather than taxing it and helping to solve the national debt in the process. Yay, idiots!
As long as I’m on government bureaucracy, I’d like to forget that much of my year was mucked up by it. From my mortgage assistance being taken away for having made $140 too much the previous year, to the month that I lost in my TSA application thanks to a doctor not signing off on the fact that I have a spot of rosacea on my cheek, to the online poker fiasco, it was truly a year of wonderful government actions and inactions. The scary thing to me is that all of these people can get a job, and I can’t.
I’m thankful for a year of good health. When you don’t have any health insurance, it’s a scary thing to get sick. So going through a year healthy is a wonderful thing.
I’m thankful for people like Elizabeth, who are willing to do a job that they love even though it puts them into a tight spot financially. Now stop putting up those photos of animals in cages. You know I can’t hold out forever, dammit, and we’ve already got 7 pets!!
I learned that it is possible to walk backwards through IKEA, but it’s not recommended. Thanks Gwen for assisting on the adventure and search for Tupperware.
I learned that the CD and Game exchange place has a pretty good selection of fun PS2 games for next to nothing. Go Rampage and Need for Speed!
I’d like to forget that with the shut down of online poker, almost all poker television has gone away. Poker After Dark, the National Heads-up Championship, and most likely High Stakes Poker are all gone due to lack of sponsorship.
I’d also like to forget that Stargate: Universe was cancelled. One of the truly great and underrated sci-fi shows of all time. Easily the best of the Stargate shows. Dark, moody and intense. Awesome television, and a shame that it’s gone. Of all the shows that were cancelled this past year, that one hurt the most.
I learned of the joy that is pulled-pork cornbread.
I’d like to forget the fact that I ate WAY too much fast food last year.
I’m thankful for the people I have in my life who are great writers, bloggers, conversationalists, and just overall deep thinkers. The world is losing great minds, and not replacing them nearly as quickly. I’m thankful that at least for my generation, I’ve still got people who can hold a good conversation, either spoken or written.
I’m thankful for Paulo Coehlo.
I’m thankful for people who really love pain, and allow me to inflict it on them on a regular basis at the monthly Fetish Nights.
I’m thankful for a really good medium-rare steak from Long’s Meat Market.
I’m thankful for really good fish from Fisherman’s Market.
I’m thankful for the 6 months a year that I get super fresh vegetables from the farm down the road from my house.
I’m thankful for the vacuum sealer that Elaine and Chris got me a few years ago that allows me to pull those fresh vegetables from the farm out of the freezer the other 6 months of the year.
I’m thankful to Pat, Mandi, and others who offered me odd jobs this past year to help with the financial hardships.
I’m thankful to Scott for writing a wonderful letter of recommendation to prospective employers for me.
I learned that I sell almost exactly three times as many cheesecakes at the restaurant down the road when they’re able to be displayed in the front display case.
I’d like to forget that the owner of said restaurant has pissed off every refrigeration repair guy in two counties, and now has no one to fix said display case, thereby cutting my sales by 2/3.
I’m thankful that I still have 1/3 of my sales in the restaurant.
I’m thankful for friends like Hye, Jen, and others who buy my cheesecakes when I just feel like making a batch up for friends.
I learned that a leopard gecko can have a tail just “drop” off. And also am learning that they will then regrow that tail.
I learned that Howie is my favorite DJ in Eugene.
In movies this year, I learned that Sucker Punch was incredibly underrated, that Incendies was the most fucked up movie of the year, that Biutiful was incredibly well done, but even more incredibly depressing, that Blue Valentine was incredibly overrated, and that if you want a glimpse of what Tom Hardy is going to be like as Bane in the new Batman movie, you should watch Bronson, not Inception.
I’m thankful for the absolute brilliance that is Downton Abbey. Fucking master class of acting on all levels.
I learned that the notorious pirate Captain Kidd wasn’t really a pirate at all. He was a pirate hunter, and wow did he get a raw deal, both in his time, and from history.
I will say again, I am thankful to have the greatest set of friends that anyone could ever ask for. You are all treasures to me, and make my life worth living. You are such beautiful, smart and funny people. You inspire me every day through your actions and words. I simply am trying to live up to the standards that you all set on a daily basis. My life is fuller, and more complete, simply for having you all in it.
Finally, as I wrap up the longest of these lists that I’ve ever done, I am thankful for anyone who read all of it.
As always, I am most thankful for my friends. Those of you who are actually taking the time to read this most of all, as I know that you could be doing any of a number of things with the next 10-20 minutes of your life, and by choosing to read this blog, I truly feel special.
I am thankful for the year that I had in poker. 9 of 12 final tables at AIPCO. 67% cash rate at my Tuesday night game. About $12K in winnings. Player of the Year at both AIPCO and “The Rob”. I seriously doubt I will ever have that type of year again, and am thankful for being able to have experienced it once in my lifetime.
I’m thankful for Chance, once again, making it through another year. She looks awful. Diabetic. Losing her sight. Bad hip that slips out on her occasionally. But she’s still happy. She still comes running every time I sit down to eat, hoping that I’ll throw her some meat or cheese. She sleeps, eats and shits. That’s her life, and by God, if we’re all so lucky as to live as long (relatively) as she has, we’ll all be happy to keep going just as she does.
I’m thankful for our new cat Isis.
I learned that Max doesn’t intimidate every cat on the planet.
I’m thankful for the opportunity to watch Isis kick Max’s ass, as after years of watching him terrorize every other cat we’ve had in the house, it was so much fun to see one not back down to him.
Isis would like to thank Max for being her bitch.
Chance would like to thank Isis for making Max her bitch, and getting him to stop picking on her.
I am thankful for the glory that was Game of Thrones on HBO. I really didn’t see how they were going to get those books into such a short season (and don’t know how they’ll continue to do so since the books get longer and longer). But season one, which was basically book one, did a pretty damn good job. And Peter Dinklage was absolutely amazing as Tyrion Lannister.
I am thankful for a new book in the series coming out this year. Now, how about not waiting 7 years for the next one, eh, Mr. Martin?
I learned that the only way it works for me to have a girlfriend move in with me is to just tell her not to have a day that she’s going to move in. Rather, just keep moving things in slowly over the course of a few months, until she’s actually living here full time without me knowing it.
I’m thankful that Sara was willing to actually consent to doing it that way.
I’d like to forget that I’m still unemployed. I am hopeful that shortly after publishing this post, that I will get news from TSA that I’m hired out at the airport. But after 2 ½ years, I’m a little tired of not working. Don’t get me wrong, I still retire tomorrow if I hit the lottery. But no money and no work is not a great combination.
I’m thankful to Randy Lott, Steve Hartsock, and myself for coming up with the best new cheesecake flavors of the year: Apricot Brandy, Chocolate-Raspberry-Macadamia Nut, and Dark Chocolate with Candied Walnuts, respectively.
I learned that Tony is actually capable of losing the year end tournament at “The Rob”. First time in five years that he hasn’t walked away with the trophy. Don’t worry, sir, I know that I’m only a temporary placeholder.
I’m thankful for winning the year-end tournament at “The Rob”, despite being too tired to see my cards properly after cooking a 16-course meal for 16 people.
I learned that “chi” or energy flow actually exists, and isn’t just a pile of “new age mumbo jumbo”. Having spent most of my life as a Humian empiricist, who basically only believes in things that he can experience first hand, I would have discounted its existence until this year. But thanks to a wonderful experience with someone at a Fetish Night, I had my head blown back in a way I never thought possible. I’m thankful to Taralynn for providing that experience, and becoming a good friend over the rest of the year.
I am thankful for the new friends that I made this year, both online and in real life, and to those with whom I have reconnected.
I would like to forget the passing of friends and family who were taken too soon in the previous year. But at the same time, I am thankful that I’m able to remember good times with all of them.
Along those lines, I learned that one of my favorite artists, Ed Vliek, passed away last year. I couldn’t find much outside of an obituary in a Michigan newspaper, and on the off chance that someone reading this blog knows more about how he died, I would very much like the info.
I’m thankful to own some of Ed’s finest work, and that his memory will always live on through his outstanding photography.
I learned that St. Vincent De Paul is the greatest bookstore ever. $2.50 for first edition hardcover books. Or, if you’re really lucky, you hit them up on the one or two sales that they have each year, and get them for $1.25. My Elmore Leonard collection grew by leaps and bounds thanks to SVDP. It’s like the golden days of Powell’s, when Dave had his sister’s employee discount card, and I’d walk out with two or three shopping bags full of books. Wheeeeeeeee!!
I both learned and would like to forget that my writing is almost hardwired to my state of mind. That when I’m depressed, I find it to be nearly impossible to write. This became evident as the year wore on, the unemployment ran out, and the fear of the future turned to depression about the state of my life. I’m coming out of it, regardless of TSA’s decision, but it was a difficult few months there, and my blogging slowed to a non-existent crawl for much of the year. I do hope to remedy that situation this year, but it will be a slow buildup, not a faucet turning on.
I am thankful for the people who persevered at Scrabble enough to start winning a few games here and there. I know I’m not much fun to play most of the time, but Karen, Aline, and Erin, you all took games from me this year, congrats.
I’d like to forget that I had friends who had years far worse than mine this year. You all know who you are, and I don’t need to single any of you out. I truly hope that 2012 brings us ALL much luck, love and good tidings.
I’m thankful for the guilty pleasure that is Once Upon a Time. Yes, it’s trash TV. But it’s FUN, too. I mean, not everything can be Breaking Bad. And if it’s going to be trash, at least it can be worth watching.
I’m thankful for the return to television of Beavis and Butthead. So many years later, and they still have their finger on the pulse of pop culture and all that needs mocking.
I learned of lots of new music this year, and yes, I realize that much of it has been around for a while. I’m not nearly the music snob that others are, but when it’s new to me, I’m still thankful. So thank you Yellowcard, 30 Seconds To Mars, Arcade Fire, The XX, Skillet, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Miike Snow, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Kelly Joe Phelps, Florence and the Machine, Sleepy Joe Estes, Band of Horses, Chevelle, Adele, and the people whose music I loved but didn’t know who sang the songs: Anna Nalick, Missy Higgins, and Bowling for Soup.
I would like to forget that there are people in the world who are capable of doing some of the things that I saw in the news just in the last week. Yes, I’m thinking of you woman who put her baby in the spin cycle of the washer. Yes, I’m thinking of you, assholes who put an M80 into the mouth of a dog. That whole Eye-for-an-Eye thing looks better to me all the time.
I’m thankful to have actually landed some cooking gigs this year. Would love to have it happen more often.
I learned that Eugene really doesn’t have any good neighborhoods for Christmas Lights. Sara and I drove around for hours, hitting up almost every corner in town, and outside of just a random street here or there with a few cool houses on it, there really isn’t much to see in this town.
I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to drive around looking for them anyway.
I learned that the crazy French chick that opened for Vagabond Opera at the Steampunk convention in Portland was truly awful. I mean, an entire song dedicated to garlic? Really?
I learned that when you fill my old plastic Elvira Halloween cup to the top with spare change, it comes to just about $100 every time.
I’m thankful for having deep cleaned my desk this winter, and finding about five envelopes full of great old pictures, two pairs of long missing sunglasses, some artwork, and other assorted things I thought I had lost. Geez, I should do this more often.
I’m thankful to once again have had the great status updates between Kate and David this year, congrats on the impending nuptials. I’d also like to single out the updates from Karen Norton too. All of you are an inspiration to people all over as to just how great love really can, and SHOULD, be for everyone.
I learned that the Republican party, at least on the national level, is even more dysfunctional than the Democrats. They have exactly ONE candidate who has a shot to beat Obama, and that’s Mitt Romney. He’s a centrist, he’s rich and a great fundraiser, he’s been thoroughly vetted after this much time in the spotlight, he has no real issues other than being Mormon. So what do they do? They keep throwing up the flavor of the “weak”, and getting them shot down. I mean, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have GOT to be saying, “Please let it be Santorum!”
I’d like to forget how depressing the movie Inside Job is. For those of you who haven’t seen it, you should, even though you’ll want to break your TV by the end of it. Perhaps the only time in my life that I’ve truly felt as though I had lost all hope for a better future.
I’m thankful for the Occupy movements. Despite the fact that 99% of the 99% don’t know what they want to say, or how to say it; despite not being on the same page most of the time; despite having little to no ability to affect the change you want to see—you still became a global phenomenon and at least shone a light on the problems for a little while. I don’t know if anything substantial will come of it, but I’m glad it happened.
I learned, about 7 years later than many people, that Supernatural is kind of a cool TV show.
I learned that formspring is about the coolest timesuck of a website if you like to write. You can find me on there as foxmuldur if you care to ask and/or answer questions.
I’m thankful that I finally have given up all facebook games. I still play Scrabble and Words with Friends, but do so through my phone. No more Mafia Wars, Franchise Football, or anything else.
I learned that the former USSR has now surpassed Japan as far as my blog followers. Russia is #2, Ukraine #4, and Serbia #5 for page views. I need to post more often. Sorry Comrades, I will get more up there for you.
I learned that Science Pub is a great way to kill a Thursday night. Those of you in the Eugene area, it’s this Thursday at Cozmic Pizza. Trust me, you’ll like it. Beer, pizza, cute nerdy chicks talking science, what more could you want? It’s like The Big Bang Theory in real life.
I’m so thankful for the year of quotes that Charlie Sheen delivered. So much fun.
I learned that animalsbeingdicks.com is an absolutely awesome timesuck.
I’m thankful that I was able to get back into sending mass quantities of Christmas cards this year. I still don’t have much holiday spirit, and probably won’t until I’m in a better spot in my own life, but it was nice going into the post office with an obscene amount of cards again. If you DIDN’T get one, it’s because I don’t have your address. Send me an email with your address, and you’ll get the Dreaded Christmas Letter next year, I promise. And maybe a random card this year just because.
I’d like to forget what a poor job I did at getting out random cards this year. Bad Rob!
I’d like to forget what a crappy job I did at working out this year too. Meh.
I’m thankful for Sara having taken over the yard, and starting the transformation from “large area of giant weeds” to “landscaped area behind house”. I know that after 10 years of neglect and/or abuse, it will take a while. But the first round goes to Sara, after near unanimous decisions for the yard in previous years.
I’d like to forget that online poker was shut down in April. After two years of unemployment, my one legitimate source of income was taken away from me. I’m not a stellar player, but I could pretty easily pull down $20-$30 an hour on a regular basis. I didn’t WANT to do it full time (no benefits, high stress, bad for my health), but it WAS going to be my fall back position after unemployment ran out. Alas, once again, the government felt it necessary to regulate my morality, rather than taxing it and helping to solve the national debt in the process. Yay, idiots!
As long as I’m on government bureaucracy, I’d like to forget that much of my year was mucked up by it. From my mortgage assistance being taken away for having made $140 too much the previous year, to the month that I lost in my TSA application thanks to a doctor not signing off on the fact that I have a spot of rosacea on my cheek, to the online poker fiasco, it was truly a year of wonderful government actions and inactions. The scary thing to me is that all of these people can get a job, and I can’t.
I’m thankful for a year of good health. When you don’t have any health insurance, it’s a scary thing to get sick. So going through a year healthy is a wonderful thing.
I’m thankful for people like Elizabeth, who are willing to do a job that they love even though it puts them into a tight spot financially. Now stop putting up those photos of animals in cages. You know I can’t hold out forever, dammit, and we’ve already got 7 pets!!
I learned that it is possible to walk backwards through IKEA, but it’s not recommended. Thanks Gwen for assisting on the adventure and search for Tupperware.
I learned that the CD and Game exchange place has a pretty good selection of fun PS2 games for next to nothing. Go Rampage and Need for Speed!
I’d like to forget that with the shut down of online poker, almost all poker television has gone away. Poker After Dark, the National Heads-up Championship, and most likely High Stakes Poker are all gone due to lack of sponsorship.
I’d also like to forget that Stargate: Universe was cancelled. One of the truly great and underrated sci-fi shows of all time. Easily the best of the Stargate shows. Dark, moody and intense. Awesome television, and a shame that it’s gone. Of all the shows that were cancelled this past year, that one hurt the most.
I learned of the joy that is pulled-pork cornbread.
I’d like to forget the fact that I ate WAY too much fast food last year.
I’m thankful for the people I have in my life who are great writers, bloggers, conversationalists, and just overall deep thinkers. The world is losing great minds, and not replacing them nearly as quickly. I’m thankful that at least for my generation, I’ve still got people who can hold a good conversation, either spoken or written.
I’m thankful for Paulo Coehlo.
I’m thankful for people who really love pain, and allow me to inflict it on them on a regular basis at the monthly Fetish Nights.
I’m thankful for a really good medium-rare steak from Long’s Meat Market.
I’m thankful for really good fish from Fisherman’s Market.
I’m thankful for the 6 months a year that I get super fresh vegetables from the farm down the road from my house.
I’m thankful for the vacuum sealer that Elaine and Chris got me a few years ago that allows me to pull those fresh vegetables from the farm out of the freezer the other 6 months of the year.
I’m thankful to Pat, Mandi, and others who offered me odd jobs this past year to help with the financial hardships.
I’m thankful to Scott for writing a wonderful letter of recommendation to prospective employers for me.
I learned that I sell almost exactly three times as many cheesecakes at the restaurant down the road when they’re able to be displayed in the front display case.
I’d like to forget that the owner of said restaurant has pissed off every refrigeration repair guy in two counties, and now has no one to fix said display case, thereby cutting my sales by 2/3.
I’m thankful that I still have 1/3 of my sales in the restaurant.
I’m thankful for friends like Hye, Jen, and others who buy my cheesecakes when I just feel like making a batch up for friends.
I learned that a leopard gecko can have a tail just “drop” off. And also am learning that they will then regrow that tail.
I learned that Howie is my favorite DJ in Eugene.
In movies this year, I learned that Sucker Punch was incredibly underrated, that Incendies was the most fucked up movie of the year, that Biutiful was incredibly well done, but even more incredibly depressing, that Blue Valentine was incredibly overrated, and that if you want a glimpse of what Tom Hardy is going to be like as Bane in the new Batman movie, you should watch Bronson, not Inception.
I’m thankful for the absolute brilliance that is Downton Abbey. Fucking master class of acting on all levels.
I learned that the notorious pirate Captain Kidd wasn’t really a pirate at all. He was a pirate hunter, and wow did he get a raw deal, both in his time, and from history.
I will say again, I am thankful to have the greatest set of friends that anyone could ever ask for. You are all treasures to me, and make my life worth living. You are such beautiful, smart and funny people. You inspire me every day through your actions and words. I simply am trying to live up to the standards that you all set on a daily basis. My life is fuller, and more complete, simply for having you all in it.
Finally, as I wrap up the longest of these lists that I’ve ever done, I am thankful for anyone who read all of it.
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