Been a long time, loyal readers. Not that I have many of you, but for those who do follow, I apologize once again.
I've been in a pretty dark place for a few months now. You wouldn't know it to look at me, as I generally always have my happy face on. But the darkness has bubbled to the surface quite a bit more in recent weeks than I'm comfortable with. I do believe that it is a combination of Christmas approaching, and my seeming inability to get a job. Combined, they just make me dread the holidays that much more, and look forward to them being over and done with.
A year ago, I had been looking forward to the start of the new year, and my attempt to start seriously pursuing employment. Now, a year later, I can't quite believe that I'm still mostly unemployed. Never thought it would be this hard. At least unemployment has kept me afloat, and poker has, for the most part, made me financially solvent. I've still spent too much money in the past six months, and am too far in debt for my own psychological well-being. Christmas is going to be mostly non-existent this year. I think I'm buying four gifts total, and hopefully getting cards out this week. That's it, and then rolling into next year.
Here's to hoping that 2011 is better than 2009 and 2010 were. Too late in life to string this many bad years together.
But I'm hopefully slowly climbing out of the muck. I've put poker on hold for a few weeks. Online, live, everything. I had a great year, but mentally I need a break. I'm not getting back online until I'm in a better mental state, as tilt is too easy when I'm feeling down.
A few more months of unemployment left, and then it's back to retail if I don't have something else by then. Ugh.
I take solace in the fact that I have good health, great friends, a roof over my head, and food in my belly. Things could be much worse, and I never want to seem as though I am not grateful for the things that I do have. I am far more grateful than I could ever express. I'd just like to not have the stress that long-term unemployment offers up.
Thank you all for bearing with me. Psychological reboot in process. Uber-mellow Rob to return shortly. The Dude abides...
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Let me know when we get there....
Wow, time flies. And I waste way too much of it. Logged on tonight, and realized that it had been almost a month since I've been here. I'm sorry for that. I know that I don't have much as far as an actual following here. Only a few people even know this exists, and I'm sure most of them have stopped reading for the most part. But if you have stumbled across this, and were delusional enough to actually enjoy reading what I write, I apologize for not being here more often. I really am hoping to change that.
I think more than anything, my life over the past few months has been a struggle to stay positive. Still not working. More applications, a few interviews, still no job. It is frustrating because I know that I'd be better at most of these jobs than anyone that they end up hiring. But because of nepotism, or minority hiring quotas, or because I haven't been as good on paper or in an interview as someone else, I'm still unemployed. I worry about the future. I worry that eventually unemployment will run out, and I'll be forced to take some crappy job that doesn't pay the bills, simply to keep from ending up on the street. I hope that's not the case, but I worry about it. I think I'm pressing too hard in interviews. Had two of them two weeks ago. The one that I really wanted was a list of questions, but there were only 12. Was nervous and bricked the first few, and then eventually relaxed. By the end I was really flowing, giving great answers. But I wonder how much the first few hurt me. When you've only got 12 questions, and the interview only lasts 20 minutes, how can they really get a sense of who I am?
I have found myself dwelling on a topic that I've brought up in previous blogs: potential. I feel like such a waste of potential. I have coached kids for 22 years on and off. In that time, I've had hundreds of kids that I've spent a season with. I can look back and name them, the ones who had the potential to be something special, but ended up wasting it. Connor Baldwin, the biggest waste of all. Nick McKinnon, you turned out to be a great person, but you should be playing minor league baseball at the very worst. Isaiah Lugo, you're still young enough to turn it around, but it doesn't look good. Many, many more.
I think now that if the teachers, mentors, coaches, and such that knew me when I was 10-17 years old could see me now, they would all have the reaction: waste of potential. I wish I had the motivation to drive myself towards something, anything. It has always been my biggest failing, and I have never known how to change it. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate myself, and I know that I'm a good person. I enrich the lives of those around me. I'm a good friend, and would do anything for those I love, both friends and family.
But I have no direction. I envy people who only know forward. I'm smart enough to see space in three dimensions, and realize that progress can move in any direction. But that knowledge paralyzes me. I am at point A, but rather than seeing only a line moving forward to point B, as most people do, I see points C, D, E, F, G, H, I and J, all of them in different directions, and I know that I can reach any of them if I apply myself. I just don't know which one to move towards. And I don't even know what I need to do to get to any of them. I just know that they're there, and that it is possible to reach them. But the how and the actual journey are a mystery to me.
So I spin my wheels, not knowing which way to turn, all the while with time running out on the clock of life. I have a 180 IQ, boatloads of common sense, a sense of humor to keep me balanced, a good work ethic, and I adapt well to change. I should have accomplished so much at this point in my life. But I've never really figured out what I want in this life other than a generic goal of "happy" and "safe". I know that I want to be happy, but that comes from within for the most part. I know that I want to be safe in the sense that I'm not broke, that I'm not without health and security and a roof over my head. But as for what I want on a deeper and more fulfilling level, I have no idea.
I don't know what I want from a relationship, I don't know what I want from a career, I don't know what I want for lunch tomorrow. I drift. I have often joked that I'm the 40 year old in the Baz Luhrman song that I posted in my last blog. Interesting, but still have no idea what to do with my life. And I don't know how to change that. How do I change that?
This song seems to sum it up: Let me know when we get there, if we get there...
I think more than anything, my life over the past few months has been a struggle to stay positive. Still not working. More applications, a few interviews, still no job. It is frustrating because I know that I'd be better at most of these jobs than anyone that they end up hiring. But because of nepotism, or minority hiring quotas, or because I haven't been as good on paper or in an interview as someone else, I'm still unemployed. I worry about the future. I worry that eventually unemployment will run out, and I'll be forced to take some crappy job that doesn't pay the bills, simply to keep from ending up on the street. I hope that's not the case, but I worry about it. I think I'm pressing too hard in interviews. Had two of them two weeks ago. The one that I really wanted was a list of questions, but there were only 12. Was nervous and bricked the first few, and then eventually relaxed. By the end I was really flowing, giving great answers. But I wonder how much the first few hurt me. When you've only got 12 questions, and the interview only lasts 20 minutes, how can they really get a sense of who I am?
I have found myself dwelling on a topic that I've brought up in previous blogs: potential. I feel like such a waste of potential. I have coached kids for 22 years on and off. In that time, I've had hundreds of kids that I've spent a season with. I can look back and name them, the ones who had the potential to be something special, but ended up wasting it. Connor Baldwin, the biggest waste of all. Nick McKinnon, you turned out to be a great person, but you should be playing minor league baseball at the very worst. Isaiah Lugo, you're still young enough to turn it around, but it doesn't look good. Many, many more.
I think now that if the teachers, mentors, coaches, and such that knew me when I was 10-17 years old could see me now, they would all have the reaction: waste of potential. I wish I had the motivation to drive myself towards something, anything. It has always been my biggest failing, and I have never known how to change it. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate myself, and I know that I'm a good person. I enrich the lives of those around me. I'm a good friend, and would do anything for those I love, both friends and family.
But I have no direction. I envy people who only know forward. I'm smart enough to see space in three dimensions, and realize that progress can move in any direction. But that knowledge paralyzes me. I am at point A, but rather than seeing only a line moving forward to point B, as most people do, I see points C, D, E, F, G, H, I and J, all of them in different directions, and I know that I can reach any of them if I apply myself. I just don't know which one to move towards. And I don't even know what I need to do to get to any of them. I just know that they're there, and that it is possible to reach them. But the how and the actual journey are a mystery to me.
So I spin my wheels, not knowing which way to turn, all the while with time running out on the clock of life. I have a 180 IQ, boatloads of common sense, a sense of humor to keep me balanced, a good work ethic, and I adapt well to change. I should have accomplished so much at this point in my life. But I've never really figured out what I want in this life other than a generic goal of "happy" and "safe". I know that I want to be happy, but that comes from within for the most part. I know that I want to be safe in the sense that I'm not broke, that I'm not without health and security and a roof over my head. But as for what I want on a deeper and more fulfilling level, I have no idea.
I don't know what I want from a relationship, I don't know what I want from a career, I don't know what I want for lunch tomorrow. I drift. I have often joked that I'm the 40 year old in the Baz Luhrman song that I posted in my last blog. Interesting, but still have no idea what to do with my life. And I don't know how to change that. How do I change that?
This song seems to sum it up: Let me know when we get there, if we get there...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Revisiting a classic...
So, I was talking with a friend tonight, and the subject of Baz Luhrmann's Sunscreen song came up. So I reread it for the first time in a while, and enjoyed it just as much now as I did 10 years ago.
So, for those of you who have missed it, or forgot it, or never heard it in the first place, here you go. More of my writing to come this weekend.
-----------------
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99, If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
So, for those of you who have missed it, or forgot it, or never heard it in the first place, here you go. More of my writing to come this weekend.
-----------------
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99, If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Future is Now
I saw a great quote the other day from Howard Zinn, an historian probably best known to the general public as the guy who wrote the book that Matt Damon quotes in Good Will Hunting. It’s a shame, though, because the man really was an amazing writer. An amazing thinker, really. I won’t regurgitate the entire quote here, but the relevant part is this, “The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”
So many of us, myself included, spend vast portions of our lives looking towards something grand. The little things, good and bad, are quickly forgotten if not overlooked entirely. It’s much more fun to think about how things could be, not only for us, but for the world around us. Actually working towards those goals isn’t nearly as enjoyable. What we fail to perceive is that time is moving forward whether we’re living in the present or dreaming of the future.
I think that some of the frustration that people feel in their day to day lives is that it doesn’t always seem as though we can make a difference. The truth is, everything we do makes a difference, not only for ourselves, but for the people in our lives. We don’t have to wait for our lives to be perfect in order to act, we just need to act. We also don’t need the world to cooperate, because if we wait for that, we’ll be waiting for most of our lives.
I recently had a discussion on the nature of happiness with a friend of mine. (As you know, this would be a topic that I can write and talk about extensively) I argued that everyone has something that brings happiness into their lives, but the trick is to both be able to figure out what that thing is, and also to work towards practicing that action. We all have things that bring us temporary joy, or stave off unhappiness. For me, there would be plenty of those: poker, cooking, writing this blog or writing in general, reading, listening to music, playing with the cats, etc. But the one thing that brings me truly transcendent happiness is pleasing others. Bringing joy into someone else’s life, actually making a difference in how they perceive their day, that is the drug that fuels my happiness addiction.
I think I had lost track of a fundamental truth that the Zinn quote allowed me to see clearly again. It doesn’t take a grand gesture, and I don’t need to wait for everything to align in order to make my present better. In honor of this I decided to pursue a series of small gestures. I bought a stack of funny greeting cards, and hand wrote a letter on the inside of each one, and started sending them out to friends. The effect was immediate, and I was able to brighten the day of many of my friends. It wasn’t anything spectacular, just a small gesture to let them know that I cared, and that I appreciated the fact that they were in my life.
We cannot lose sight of the small things, because they are the bulk of our existence. The things that you will remember for the rest of your life, those experiences only happen once in a great while. Yes, they are the things that define the path of your life. But the person that you become in between those events will be defined by the ordinary events that happen on every random day for the five or ten years between earth shattering events. If you ignore them, or overlook them, or take them for granted, you are missing out on most of your life.
Today is the tomorrow you dreamed of yesterday. Live the dream every day.
So many of us, myself included, spend vast portions of our lives looking towards something grand. The little things, good and bad, are quickly forgotten if not overlooked entirely. It’s much more fun to think about how things could be, not only for us, but for the world around us. Actually working towards those goals isn’t nearly as enjoyable. What we fail to perceive is that time is moving forward whether we’re living in the present or dreaming of the future.
I think that some of the frustration that people feel in their day to day lives is that it doesn’t always seem as though we can make a difference. The truth is, everything we do makes a difference, not only for ourselves, but for the people in our lives. We don’t have to wait for our lives to be perfect in order to act, we just need to act. We also don’t need the world to cooperate, because if we wait for that, we’ll be waiting for most of our lives.
I recently had a discussion on the nature of happiness with a friend of mine. (As you know, this would be a topic that I can write and talk about extensively) I argued that everyone has something that brings happiness into their lives, but the trick is to both be able to figure out what that thing is, and also to work towards practicing that action. We all have things that bring us temporary joy, or stave off unhappiness. For me, there would be plenty of those: poker, cooking, writing this blog or writing in general, reading, listening to music, playing with the cats, etc. But the one thing that brings me truly transcendent happiness is pleasing others. Bringing joy into someone else’s life, actually making a difference in how they perceive their day, that is the drug that fuels my happiness addiction.
I think I had lost track of a fundamental truth that the Zinn quote allowed me to see clearly again. It doesn’t take a grand gesture, and I don’t need to wait for everything to align in order to make my present better. In honor of this I decided to pursue a series of small gestures. I bought a stack of funny greeting cards, and hand wrote a letter on the inside of each one, and started sending them out to friends. The effect was immediate, and I was able to brighten the day of many of my friends. It wasn’t anything spectacular, just a small gesture to let them know that I cared, and that I appreciated the fact that they were in my life.
We cannot lose sight of the small things, because they are the bulk of our existence. The things that you will remember for the rest of your life, those experiences only happen once in a great while. Yes, they are the things that define the path of your life. But the person that you become in between those events will be defined by the ordinary events that happen on every random day for the five or ten years between earth shattering events. If you ignore them, or overlook them, or take them for granted, you are missing out on most of your life.
Today is the tomorrow you dreamed of yesterday. Live the dream every day.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Politics of Hatred
I received an email earlier this summer, a racist rant that was (mistakenly) attributed to Michael Richards (Kramer from Seinfeld). You might remember that he got into a bit of trouble a few years ago for yelling out racial epithets at a concert. So someone got the bright idea to attach his name to their racist musings, and pass them off as his. This has been debunked by Snopes.com, but it served another purpose for me. It sent me down the path of thought that made me question just where all the hate is coming from? It is so pervasive in our society now, that it feels as though there is no escaping it.
Nowhere, though, is it worse than in our political realm. Think of the last five Presidents. Only George Bush Sr. doesn't engender a passionate response from one side or the other. Reagan was despised by the Left, loved by the Right. Clinton was the exact opposite, only more so. Then came W., and the hatred reached new levels (and by the end, he was hated by both the Left, and most of his own party). Now there's Obama, and the politics of hate have reached their zenith. There is a relatively new Harris poll that shows that 25% of Republicans believe that Obama is the Antichrist. Seriously. That goes into my all-time list of favorite poll statistics, right next to the 40% of Americans who believe their retirement money will be coming from winning the lottery. (Of course, in this economy, that might not be such a bad bet)
Listen, I'm disappointed in Obama as well. He rode a wave of hope and optimism into office, only to seemingly give up on that simply because the other side of the aisle didn't want to play nice. So he caved, and that promise of hope went by the wayside, as he tried to fight his battles with the same tactics that everyone else was already using. He can't, and he shouldn't, but he does it anyway.
I get so discouraged when I think of Obama. Not because I think he's a bad man, in fact, it's exactly the opposite. I think he's a great man, but one who was unprepared for what he was stepping into. I think he failed to realize just how divided we are as a country right now. "Red" America and "Blue" America might as well be the Bloods and the Crips. Same colors, same level of hatred for one another. There is no easy way out of this, and Obama should have realized that.
People are scared right now. The economy sucks, unemployment is through the roof, everything costs more, and 99% of the people don't know how they're going to afford the things they need. That's an easy group to manipulate. But I truly believe that if you give people a choice between being motivated by fear, and being motivated by hope, most of them will chose hope. That's why Obama got elected in the first place. It was the basic message of his campaign: Hope. Now it's all fear again, from both sides, and the people like me who want hope, and want to believe, are out of luck.
You know what I really wanted from Obama? I wanted Ghandi. I wanted someone who would stand there while the Glenn Becks and Rush Limbaughs of the world hurled insults and invective at him, and just take it. I wanted someone who would take the political Machiavellianism that is so rampant in Washington right now, and just rise above it. Who would look at the scheming and backstabbing and not stoop to that level, no matter what. Yes, he would be beaten down; I wanted someone who would stand back up and say, "Go ahead, knock me down again". Because that's really the only way out of this, folks. It does not take courage to take a beating. It takes courage to get back up and take another one.
I'm discouraged because if one of the smartest, most principled men in Washington, who was elected on a platform of hope and bipartisanship, can't rise above the politics of hatred, who can? Certainly not a Republican, and there isn't a Democrat out there with enough of a spine to do it. I worry that it only gets worse from here, with no end in sight.
We cannot continue down this path, as there is no happy ending here. We have to learn to rise above as individuals, and eventually we can rise above as a nation. Because right now we're mired in the muck, and unless we do something about it, we're only going to sink.
I find myself drifting back to the words in JFK's inauguration speech: Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. And I believe that what we can all do is to turn away from hate and intolerance, and turn towards love and light. Even knowing that we will get knocked down, if we have the courage to get back up, we will prevail in the end.
Nowhere, though, is it worse than in our political realm. Think of the last five Presidents. Only George Bush Sr. doesn't engender a passionate response from one side or the other. Reagan was despised by the Left, loved by the Right. Clinton was the exact opposite, only more so. Then came W., and the hatred reached new levels (and by the end, he was hated by both the Left, and most of his own party). Now there's Obama, and the politics of hate have reached their zenith. There is a relatively new Harris poll that shows that 25% of Republicans believe that Obama is the Antichrist. Seriously. That goes into my all-time list of favorite poll statistics, right next to the 40% of Americans who believe their retirement money will be coming from winning the lottery. (Of course, in this economy, that might not be such a bad bet)
Listen, I'm disappointed in Obama as well. He rode a wave of hope and optimism into office, only to seemingly give up on that simply because the other side of the aisle didn't want to play nice. So he caved, and that promise of hope went by the wayside, as he tried to fight his battles with the same tactics that everyone else was already using. He can't, and he shouldn't, but he does it anyway.
I get so discouraged when I think of Obama. Not because I think he's a bad man, in fact, it's exactly the opposite. I think he's a great man, but one who was unprepared for what he was stepping into. I think he failed to realize just how divided we are as a country right now. "Red" America and "Blue" America might as well be the Bloods and the Crips. Same colors, same level of hatred for one another. There is no easy way out of this, and Obama should have realized that.
People are scared right now. The economy sucks, unemployment is through the roof, everything costs more, and 99% of the people don't know how they're going to afford the things they need. That's an easy group to manipulate. But I truly believe that if you give people a choice between being motivated by fear, and being motivated by hope, most of them will chose hope. That's why Obama got elected in the first place. It was the basic message of his campaign: Hope. Now it's all fear again, from both sides, and the people like me who want hope, and want to believe, are out of luck.
You know what I really wanted from Obama? I wanted Ghandi. I wanted someone who would stand there while the Glenn Becks and Rush Limbaughs of the world hurled insults and invective at him, and just take it. I wanted someone who would take the political Machiavellianism that is so rampant in Washington right now, and just rise above it. Who would look at the scheming and backstabbing and not stoop to that level, no matter what. Yes, he would be beaten down; I wanted someone who would stand back up and say, "Go ahead, knock me down again". Because that's really the only way out of this, folks. It does not take courage to take a beating. It takes courage to get back up and take another one.
I'm discouraged because if one of the smartest, most principled men in Washington, who was elected on a platform of hope and bipartisanship, can't rise above the politics of hatred, who can? Certainly not a Republican, and there isn't a Democrat out there with enough of a spine to do it. I worry that it only gets worse from here, with no end in sight.
We cannot continue down this path, as there is no happy ending here. We have to learn to rise above as individuals, and eventually we can rise above as a nation. Because right now we're mired in the muck, and unless we do something about it, we're only going to sink.
I find myself drifting back to the words in JFK's inauguration speech: Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. And I believe that what we can all do is to turn away from hate and intolerance, and turn towards love and light. Even knowing that we will get knocked down, if we have the courage to get back up, we will prevail in the end.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Random musings indeed...
So, nothing earth-shattering to write about, but felt like typing so here I am.
No news on the job this week, which means the EPUD job is probably dead. I keep telling myself that perhaps it just means that they had hundreds of applicants (like every job in Eugene has right now) and with only one HR person, it's taking her a while to get through everything. I haven't been turned down yet, so that's a good thing. Maybe I'll get lucky, but I've come to peace with not getting it, I think.
One of my best friends from high school was in Portland this week, so I went up and had dinner with him yesterday. Was nice to catch up with someone in person, rather than over the internet. For being so far away from everyone, I'm still fairly well connected to a lot of people. Most of them in Cali, but some spread out all over the country, and a few outside the U.S. But there's just something about being able to sit across a table, drinking a beer, and talking about old times that is unequaled by anything that could be done online.
Fetish Ball was a good time last weekend. Performed at this one, rather than helping Ruthie run security. Of course, security at this one sucked, because Ruthie was trying to do it all on her own, and she's just not physically capable of doing so. But I didn't have to care, because it wasn't my job this time. Met a new friend, who I did a 30-minute session on, more than almost anyone I've ever seen. She can take a beating for sure. Will hopefully be playing with her on a regular basis now. Was a very weird vibe, though. A LOT of new people, a lot of frat boys and sorority girls, almost no one dancing. Odd also because the last Fetish night was an amazing vibe from start to finish. This one just seemed... off. Of course, being behind the ropes, I don't get the same vibe no matter what. Definitely had some good reactions to my scenes though.
Lots of movies over the past week or so. Did you know that Against All Odds, the 80's flick with Jeff Bridges and James Woods was a remake? The original was called Out of the Past, and it's from 1947, with a young Robert Mitchum in the Bridges role, and Kirk Douglas in the James Woods role. Great, great movie. Took about 30 minutes to get me hooked, and then it was awesome through the end. In other movies... Thought Green Zone was a little formulaic, but pretty good. Thought the worst movie title in recent memory: Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (WTF, people, you seriously couldn't tighten that title up a bit?) was actually fairly entertaining. I actually hope they make more in that series, because it has a lot of potential. The writing wasn't great, but I do think it could grow into a pretty good series. Way more great actors in it than I had heard about. Sean Bean, Uma Thurman, Rosario Dawson. The names kept popping up on the credits, and I just thought, "Wow, really?"
Speaking of Sean Bean, I'm reading Game of Thrones for the first time. It's George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series, which HBO is turning into the first high fantasy TV series with a real budget... ever. Sure, there's been stuff on Syfy, Merlin, Xena, etc. But all of those, even the ones that were somewhat fun to watch, were WAY low budget. I'm looking forward to something akin to 'Rome', but in the fantasy realm. Comes out after the first of the year, should be great.
Bubbled at poker this week, fucking hate that. But still, I've already got more points and more cashes than anyone had all of last year. I think I need four more cashes to break the records for points and cashes in a year. Should have that soon enough. D'oh! Way to jinx myself.
Okay, I'm done for the night. Love you all, thanks for reading.
No news on the job this week, which means the EPUD job is probably dead. I keep telling myself that perhaps it just means that they had hundreds of applicants (like every job in Eugene has right now) and with only one HR person, it's taking her a while to get through everything. I haven't been turned down yet, so that's a good thing. Maybe I'll get lucky, but I've come to peace with not getting it, I think.
One of my best friends from high school was in Portland this week, so I went up and had dinner with him yesterday. Was nice to catch up with someone in person, rather than over the internet. For being so far away from everyone, I'm still fairly well connected to a lot of people. Most of them in Cali, but some spread out all over the country, and a few outside the U.S. But there's just something about being able to sit across a table, drinking a beer, and talking about old times that is unequaled by anything that could be done online.
Fetish Ball was a good time last weekend. Performed at this one, rather than helping Ruthie run security. Of course, security at this one sucked, because Ruthie was trying to do it all on her own, and she's just not physically capable of doing so. But I didn't have to care, because it wasn't my job this time. Met a new friend, who I did a 30-minute session on, more than almost anyone I've ever seen. She can take a beating for sure. Will hopefully be playing with her on a regular basis now. Was a very weird vibe, though. A LOT of new people, a lot of frat boys and sorority girls, almost no one dancing. Odd also because the last Fetish night was an amazing vibe from start to finish. This one just seemed... off. Of course, being behind the ropes, I don't get the same vibe no matter what. Definitely had some good reactions to my scenes though.
Lots of movies over the past week or so. Did you know that Against All Odds, the 80's flick with Jeff Bridges and James Woods was a remake? The original was called Out of the Past, and it's from 1947, with a young Robert Mitchum in the Bridges role, and Kirk Douglas in the James Woods role. Great, great movie. Took about 30 minutes to get me hooked, and then it was awesome through the end. In other movies... Thought Green Zone was a little formulaic, but pretty good. Thought the worst movie title in recent memory: Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (WTF, people, you seriously couldn't tighten that title up a bit?) was actually fairly entertaining. I actually hope they make more in that series, because it has a lot of potential. The writing wasn't great, but I do think it could grow into a pretty good series. Way more great actors in it than I had heard about. Sean Bean, Uma Thurman, Rosario Dawson. The names kept popping up on the credits, and I just thought, "Wow, really?"
Speaking of Sean Bean, I'm reading Game of Thrones for the first time. It's George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series, which HBO is turning into the first high fantasy TV series with a real budget... ever. Sure, there's been stuff on Syfy, Merlin, Xena, etc. But all of those, even the ones that were somewhat fun to watch, were WAY low budget. I'm looking forward to something akin to 'Rome', but in the fantasy realm. Comes out after the first of the year, should be great.
Bubbled at poker this week, fucking hate that. But still, I've already got more points and more cashes than anyone had all of last year. I think I need four more cashes to break the records for points and cashes in a year. Should have that soon enough. D'oh! Way to jinx myself.
Okay, I'm done for the night. Love you all, thanks for reading.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Supporting those who don't really deserve it
So, I came across two really interesting news stories in the past couple of days. One of them I'll just mention in passing at the bottom of the blog, as I want to spend a little bit of time talking about the other one. It presents an interesting conundrum for me, and has me thinking of those times when you'll see Republicans or Democrats supporting some type of legislation that seems so out of character for them. But I find myself with a new understanding of some of the things that might lead to that situation.
Anyone who knows me at all will know that I'm a very strong Agnostic. I'm also VERY much pro-Gay Rights. Many of my closest friends fall under the LGBT banner in one form or another. I support gay marriage, gay adoption, total and complete equality in every area. To me, it is simply ludicrous that we can call ourselves an advanced society, and yet be so paranoid about who loves one another.
All that makes my reaction to the news out of Michigan this week that much more shocking. I think the district court that ruled against Julea Ward this week completely blew it. For those of you who missed this news tidbit, a brief recap:
Julea Ward was a student at Eastern Michigan University in the counseling program. She was assigned a case in which the person was seeking advice regarding a homosexual relationship. Ms. Ward is very devout in her beliefs, and told her supervisors that due to her own moral and religious convictions, she couldn't adequately assist the client. Her supervisor told her to reassign the client. However, the University stepped in, and initiated disciplinary procedures against her for violating both school policy and the American Counseling Association code of ethics. She gets expelled for her beliefs, and appeals to the Dean of Education, who upholds the expulsion. So she files a lawsuit, and this week she lost.
Now, personally, I think Ms. Ward is exceedingly backward in her beliefs. She needs to do one of those Morgan Spurlock 30-Days documentaries where she's forced to live with the real-life equivalent of the Robin Williams-Nathan Lane couple from The Birdcage in South Beach. Realize that "gays are people too", and hopefully open her mind to something other than the narrow morality taught to her on Sundays.
However, those are her beliefs. She has every right to them, and shouldn't be punished for them any more than I should be punished for believing that the LGBT community should have equality. I believe with every fiber of my being that I'm right. But so does she, and she should have that right.
She didn't try to convince the client that they needed to become heterosexual in order to receive counseling. She didn't berate the client for their choices in life. In my eyes, she did nothing wrong, and everything right. She advised her supervisor that she was not the right person to be counseling this particular client, and tried to recuse herself from the case. For that, she has lost a chance to become a counselor. Wow, that's terrible.
Counseling is tricky enough as it is. I did relationship counseling through the U of O program a number of years ago. Same type of program that Ms. Ward was in. We had a couple of different people work with us. One of them, we meshed with very well. The other one we didn't mesh with at all. I have friends that have been to many different counselors, looking for one that they could really build a rapport with. It takes a while. They need to "get" you, and you have to feel comfortable opening up to them. The reason it works eventually is because everyone is a little bit different, and that allows you to find someone that meshes with you and your needs in a counselor.
Eastern Michigan University seems to be of the belief that all counselors need to be cut from the same cloth. That your individual beliefs as a counselor should not be allowed to surface. What a load of bullshit. Our personal beliefs are what make us who we are. And if we decide to become a counselor, our personal beliefs will play a part in the advice that we give to people. Ms. Ward should be applauded for being able to realize that she wasn't the right person to give advice to someone whose beliefs were so opposed to her own. How much better would the world be if we all had the common sense to recuse ourselves from situations where our judgement would be clouded?
So while I think Ms. Ward is a homophobe and a bigot, I think she got totally screwed by the Michigan legal and educational systems. I hope that some Christian university out there will swoop in for the free publicity and offer her a transfer to be surrounded by people who share her beliefs, wrong though they may be.
So yes, this Agnostic gay-rights supporter found himself this week horrified by the fact that a homophobic Christian lost a legal battle for having those beliefs. What an odd place to be.
______________________________________
The other story that I just wanted to mention in brief:
Kudos to the 12-year old girl in New York who called 911 from the backseat of her mom's car, to report her mom as a drunk driver. The mom was arrested after blowing .18%, and faces up to a year in prison.
Let's hope that the mom uses the time to sober up and realize that her daughter did the right thing. (Yeah, I know, the girl is going to get the crap beat out of her; but in my little world of sunshine and rainbows, the mom sees the error of her ways).
Anyone who knows me at all will know that I'm a very strong Agnostic. I'm also VERY much pro-Gay Rights. Many of my closest friends fall under the LGBT banner in one form or another. I support gay marriage, gay adoption, total and complete equality in every area. To me, it is simply ludicrous that we can call ourselves an advanced society, and yet be so paranoid about who loves one another.
All that makes my reaction to the news out of Michigan this week that much more shocking. I think the district court that ruled against Julea Ward this week completely blew it. For those of you who missed this news tidbit, a brief recap:
Julea Ward was a student at Eastern Michigan University in the counseling program. She was assigned a case in which the person was seeking advice regarding a homosexual relationship. Ms. Ward is very devout in her beliefs, and told her supervisors that due to her own moral and religious convictions, she couldn't adequately assist the client. Her supervisor told her to reassign the client. However, the University stepped in, and initiated disciplinary procedures against her for violating both school policy and the American Counseling Association code of ethics. She gets expelled for her beliefs, and appeals to the Dean of Education, who upholds the expulsion. So she files a lawsuit, and this week she lost.
Now, personally, I think Ms. Ward is exceedingly backward in her beliefs. She needs to do one of those Morgan Spurlock 30-Days documentaries where she's forced to live with the real-life equivalent of the Robin Williams-Nathan Lane couple from The Birdcage in South Beach. Realize that "gays are people too", and hopefully open her mind to something other than the narrow morality taught to her on Sundays.
However, those are her beliefs. She has every right to them, and shouldn't be punished for them any more than I should be punished for believing that the LGBT community should have equality. I believe with every fiber of my being that I'm right. But so does she, and she should have that right.
She didn't try to convince the client that they needed to become heterosexual in order to receive counseling. She didn't berate the client for their choices in life. In my eyes, she did nothing wrong, and everything right. She advised her supervisor that she was not the right person to be counseling this particular client, and tried to recuse herself from the case. For that, she has lost a chance to become a counselor. Wow, that's terrible.
Counseling is tricky enough as it is. I did relationship counseling through the U of O program a number of years ago. Same type of program that Ms. Ward was in. We had a couple of different people work with us. One of them, we meshed with very well. The other one we didn't mesh with at all. I have friends that have been to many different counselors, looking for one that they could really build a rapport with. It takes a while. They need to "get" you, and you have to feel comfortable opening up to them. The reason it works eventually is because everyone is a little bit different, and that allows you to find someone that meshes with you and your needs in a counselor.
Eastern Michigan University seems to be of the belief that all counselors need to be cut from the same cloth. That your individual beliefs as a counselor should not be allowed to surface. What a load of bullshit. Our personal beliefs are what make us who we are. And if we decide to become a counselor, our personal beliefs will play a part in the advice that we give to people. Ms. Ward should be applauded for being able to realize that she wasn't the right person to give advice to someone whose beliefs were so opposed to her own. How much better would the world be if we all had the common sense to recuse ourselves from situations where our judgement would be clouded?
So while I think Ms. Ward is a homophobe and a bigot, I think she got totally screwed by the Michigan legal and educational systems. I hope that some Christian university out there will swoop in for the free publicity and offer her a transfer to be surrounded by people who share her beliefs, wrong though they may be.
So yes, this Agnostic gay-rights supporter found himself this week horrified by the fact that a homophobic Christian lost a legal battle for having those beliefs. What an odd place to be.
______________________________________
The other story that I just wanted to mention in brief:
Kudos to the 12-year old girl in New York who called 911 from the backseat of her mom's car, to report her mom as a drunk driver. The mom was arrested after blowing .18%, and faces up to a year in prison.
Let's hope that the mom uses the time to sober up and realize that her daughter did the right thing. (Yeah, I know, the girl is going to get the crap beat out of her; but in my little world of sunshine and rainbows, the mom sees the error of her ways).
Monday, July 26, 2010
Writer's block, overcoming depression, and realizing potential
Long time no see, my friends. This is why I didn't send out this blog to everyone when I first started it. I knew that at some point, I was going to freeze up, mentally. It is, unfortunately, how my brain tends to work. In the end, it just comes down one of my very first blogs on here. Just do it.
I was on my facebook page tonight, when I saw a quote that I have on my page. It is only a small part of a much larger quote that I have always enjoyed. But it kicked me in the ass a bit tonight, and brought me here. "Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly." Seems simple enough, doesn't it? Life is going on with us or without us. Nothing we can do is going to slow it down, turn it around, or allow us another shot at it. We have to make the most of the time we are allotted, and every moment that we waste is a moment we will never get back.
Tonight, I was at a small party at a friend's house. It was a pretty diverse crowd of people for such a small group. Next to me was an extremely beautiful 19 year old girl. Across from me sat a very nice 22 year old guy. There were a number of references to things that seemed to be common sense that one or both of them didn't get. The guy didn't know who Robin Williams was. He'd never heard of Dune. It didn't make me feel old, but it did make me realize that quite possibly, I'm nearing the apex of my life on this planet, from a strictly "age" standpoint. I have never taken the best care of my body, and if I live to be 80, I'll consider myself lucky. As such, I've probably been on this planet for close to half of my expected life.
It made me realize just how precious my time is. Obviously, we never know how long we have. I could be in a car accident and killed tomorrow. Or, nano-technology can advance to the point where my clogged arteries will be repaired before the inevitable heart attack, and I'll live to be 100. It doesn't really matter how much time I have, but rather, what I do with that time matters most of all. If I waste 10 years, or 20 years, does it really matter if I live to be 100? On the other hand, if I can squeeze 50 years of life into the next 10, could I be content dying at 48?
The past few months have been difficult for me. It's now 10 1/2 months without a job, and it is definitely wearing me out. I applied for a couple of very good jobs in the past week, and I think if I were to get one of them, it would solve a lot of the thoughts that have plagued me recently. But I cannot wait for that. I cannot allow being unemployed to slow me down any longer. I realize now, that I only have so much time in my life. I cannot waste it. It would be easier to reach my fullest potential if I had a way of paying for the things that I would like to do, but in the meantime, I will do those things that don't require much.
More than anything, it just boils down to this: I'm back.
I was on my facebook page tonight, when I saw a quote that I have on my page. It is only a small part of a much larger quote that I have always enjoyed. But it kicked me in the ass a bit tonight, and brought me here. "Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly." Seems simple enough, doesn't it? Life is going on with us or without us. Nothing we can do is going to slow it down, turn it around, or allow us another shot at it. We have to make the most of the time we are allotted, and every moment that we waste is a moment we will never get back.
Tonight, I was at a small party at a friend's house. It was a pretty diverse crowd of people for such a small group. Next to me was an extremely beautiful 19 year old girl. Across from me sat a very nice 22 year old guy. There were a number of references to things that seemed to be common sense that one or both of them didn't get. The guy didn't know who Robin Williams was. He'd never heard of Dune. It didn't make me feel old, but it did make me realize that quite possibly, I'm nearing the apex of my life on this planet, from a strictly "age" standpoint. I have never taken the best care of my body, and if I live to be 80, I'll consider myself lucky. As such, I've probably been on this planet for close to half of my expected life.
It made me realize just how precious my time is. Obviously, we never know how long we have. I could be in a car accident and killed tomorrow. Or, nano-technology can advance to the point where my clogged arteries will be repaired before the inevitable heart attack, and I'll live to be 100. It doesn't really matter how much time I have, but rather, what I do with that time matters most of all. If I waste 10 years, or 20 years, does it really matter if I live to be 100? On the other hand, if I can squeeze 50 years of life into the next 10, could I be content dying at 48?
The past few months have been difficult for me. It's now 10 1/2 months without a job, and it is definitely wearing me out. I applied for a couple of very good jobs in the past week, and I think if I were to get one of them, it would solve a lot of the thoughts that have plagued me recently. But I cannot wait for that. I cannot allow being unemployed to slow me down any longer. I realize now, that I only have so much time in my life. I cannot waste it. It would be easier to reach my fullest potential if I had a way of paying for the things that I would like to do, but in the meantime, I will do those things that don't require much.
More than anything, it just boils down to this: I'm back.
Monday, June 14, 2010
"Oh, thank God!"
Well, baseball has finally come to a close. We made the tournament, which was our goal after realizing that we were.... not good. We lost all three games in the tournament, but two of them were close, which was nice. The final game, we ride our ace pitcher through five innings, and we're tied at the end of five. But he's tired, and we know it, so we bring in our next best pitcher to try and get us through the sixth. He gives up a hit and a walk, gets one out, and we decide that in a tie game at the end of the last inning, we should walk the next batter, get the bases loaded, and have a force out at the plate. Then we decide that if we're going down, we're just gonna put our ace back in, even though he's tired, because he will still throw strikes. So Chris, the head coach goes out to the mound, and our number 2 pitcher looks at him and says, "Oh, thank God!" Yup, nothing like having a closer with the attitude of "Anyone but me coach. Please!"
So, my long season of misery is now over, and I'm feeling a little more relaxed now. Still stressed about not having a job, but at least I don't have the added stress of baseball as well. It was a frustrating season for sure, but more than anything else, I think I was frustrated because they just didn't care. While there is something to be said for kids who are just having fun playing a game, I've never been around kids who didn't care at all whether or not they won. When I was a kid, I never missed baseball. I skipped my great-grandmother's 100th birthday because I would have had to miss two games, one of which I was pitching in. Uh-uh, no way. My family all travelled back to Texas, and I stayed home by myself at age 13, because I was NOT going to miss a baseball game. Our final game, we had a kid miss to watch his sister's Jr. High graduation. Seriously?! Cost us too, as his replacement in the outfield watched two fly balls drop directly in front of him, without moving.
It was humbling, for sure, this season of hell. It is the first time in all the years that Chris and I have coached babe ruth baseball, either together or individually, that we didn't play for the title. We haven't always won it, but we've never finished below 2nd place until this year. I don't know if we'll do it again next year, but probably will only do so if we have an influx of talent to the program. I just don't think either of us is capable of handling another season like this one.
I suppose it says something about our talent as coaches that despite our 5-19 record for the year, that we had parents and other people in the NEBR program coming up to us and practically begging us to come back next year. We'll see how it turns out. For now, I'm simply going to relax and start enjoying my summer for a while.
"Oh, thank God!" indeed.
So, my long season of misery is now over, and I'm feeling a little more relaxed now. Still stressed about not having a job, but at least I don't have the added stress of baseball as well. It was a frustrating season for sure, but more than anything else, I think I was frustrated because they just didn't care. While there is something to be said for kids who are just having fun playing a game, I've never been around kids who didn't care at all whether or not they won. When I was a kid, I never missed baseball. I skipped my great-grandmother's 100th birthday because I would have had to miss two games, one of which I was pitching in. Uh-uh, no way. My family all travelled back to Texas, and I stayed home by myself at age 13, because I was NOT going to miss a baseball game. Our final game, we had a kid miss to watch his sister's Jr. High graduation. Seriously?! Cost us too, as his replacement in the outfield watched two fly balls drop directly in front of him, without moving.
It was humbling, for sure, this season of hell. It is the first time in all the years that Chris and I have coached babe ruth baseball, either together or individually, that we didn't play for the title. We haven't always won it, but we've never finished below 2nd place until this year. I don't know if we'll do it again next year, but probably will only do so if we have an influx of talent to the program. I just don't think either of us is capable of handling another season like this one.
I suppose it says something about our talent as coaches that despite our 5-19 record for the year, that we had parents and other people in the NEBR program coming up to us and practically begging us to come back next year. We'll see how it turns out. For now, I'm simply going to relax and start enjoying my summer for a while.
"Oh, thank God!" indeed.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Coach, I made a point!!
Hello friends. I know that I haven’t been around much lately. To tell the truth, I just haven’t been in a very good mental space for the past couple of weeks. This is something that I have definitely battled over the years. The paralyzation of fear, which always starts so small, and eventually becomes a mountain to overcome. Little things become large problems, and large things become overwhelming. I haven’t been my usual happy self, and I don’t generally like to put that down on e-paper, or saddle any of you with it. But it has been nearly overwhelming me for the past few days, and I need to do something to get it out of my system. I would simply lay the odds of my having a heart attack in the next month or so at about 3-1.
Baseball, ugh. That’s been my mantra for the past couple of weeks. Ugh. Wow, we’re bad. Those of you who don’t know baseball won’t understand the magnitude of this next little anecdote, and I apologize for that. Feel free to skip ahead to the next paragraph. But for those of you who do, let me just say that this truly sums up our entire season. We lost, yet again, by a large margin. All because we fell apart for one inning. Take out the third inning, and we win 3-1. Unfortunately, we lost that particular inning 11-0. So we lose the game 12-3. We’re at practice the next day, talking about the loss with the team, and one of my 10-year olds (we only have 5 of them, the rest of the team being 7-, 8-, and 9-year olds) and “team leaders” thinks that we lost 12-4. He says, “No coach, remember? I made a point.” Ugh. Not, “Coach, I scored a run” but “Coach, I made a point”. This is the reason that if I wasn’t bald before the season started, I would be now. I have one pitcher that can consistently throw strikes. Unfortunately he does it at slightly slower than batting practice speed, so he gets hammered. I have another pitcher who could be dominant, and occasionally throws strikes. But he mainly looks like he’d like to be absolutely ANYWHERE other than the pitchers mound. I have another kid who has, literally, a two-second attention span. Maybe less. No joke, he was pitching, and the batter hit a soft line drive back to the mound. This kid puts his glove up from pure reaction because the ball is coming at his head. But in-between the time that the ball leaves the bat, and when it reaches the mound, he forgets why he put his glove up, drops his glove, and gets hit in the face with the ball. Ugh. Last game, one of the only kids on the team that can field a ground ball comes up to the other coach and tells him that he really, really doesn’t want to play in the infield this game. I have a catcher who is a complete natural behind the plate. Hustles to get passed balls, makes shotgun throws down to second base to nail baserunners, bounces out on pop foul balls. Loves being back there, and is extremely focused. Oh, just one problem, he can’t catch the ball. At all. Every single pitch pops out of his glove. Yeah, there’s a reason that they call it “catcher”. Almost all of our outfielders are scared of the ball. Pop flies, they run right to it, get the glove up, and at the last second turn away because the ball might hit them. Most of our infield would make great matadors, they treat ground balls like a bull, “Toro!” as they spin out of the way. At least the outfielders also miss it while backing up. We went an entire 6-inning game without getting a put out at first base. Do you know how hard that is to do? But more than anything else, the season can be defined as: “Coach, I made a point”.
I’m a little overwhelmed on the job front, too. I get rejection after rejection, and it is starting to wear on me. Have a couple of interviews this week and one next week. Bombed the first one, but will hopefully do better on the next two. Now I am beginning to worry though, that I still won’t have work when unemployment runs out later this year. I can survive by cashing out some of my retirement money, but if I can avoid that I would certainly like to. I just want to find a job at a company that I can be with until I no longer need to work. I was at Exclusively for nearly 16 years, and it was a dead end. I don’t want to get a job with another small company that I will be stuck in the same situation that I had to leave before. I want something where if I’m stuck in the same job, at least I can make more money every year to compensate for cost of living and such. But I fear now that I’ll have to take something crappy just to keep the roof over my head. I have friends now that are struggling and/or failing to even do that much. If I could play poker full time and supplement with some cooking/baking, I would do it. But I truly don’t think that I have the mental toughness to play poker for a living. It takes too much of a grind when you’re worried about actually NEEDING the money as opposed to having it be a bonus when you win it. I’ve done very well since losing my job. Cashed again this week, which makes 14 out of 21 this year, and 25 out of 35 since losing my job in September. But I know that streaks run both ways, and could easily not cash for a couple of months too. I’m up a little over $6K since September, which is nice as an added income, but would be terrible if I had to live on it. I keep plodding along, and hope to have something come through soon. But the longer it drags out, the more stressed I am.
At least my blood pressure is only 143/108. That’s good right?
There is plenty more on my mind, but I have a hard time motivating myself to write right now, so I shall wrap up for now. I thank you all for bearing with me during this down phase. I’ll be back to my happy self soon enough, it never lasts for long.
Wish me luck on my interviews.
Baseball, ugh. That’s been my mantra for the past couple of weeks. Ugh. Wow, we’re bad. Those of you who don’t know baseball won’t understand the magnitude of this next little anecdote, and I apologize for that. Feel free to skip ahead to the next paragraph. But for those of you who do, let me just say that this truly sums up our entire season. We lost, yet again, by a large margin. All because we fell apart for one inning. Take out the third inning, and we win 3-1. Unfortunately, we lost that particular inning 11-0. So we lose the game 12-3. We’re at practice the next day, talking about the loss with the team, and one of my 10-year olds (we only have 5 of them, the rest of the team being 7-, 8-, and 9-year olds) and “team leaders” thinks that we lost 12-4. He says, “No coach, remember? I made a point.” Ugh. Not, “Coach, I scored a run” but “Coach, I made a point”. This is the reason that if I wasn’t bald before the season started, I would be now. I have one pitcher that can consistently throw strikes. Unfortunately he does it at slightly slower than batting practice speed, so he gets hammered. I have another pitcher who could be dominant, and occasionally throws strikes. But he mainly looks like he’d like to be absolutely ANYWHERE other than the pitchers mound. I have another kid who has, literally, a two-second attention span. Maybe less. No joke, he was pitching, and the batter hit a soft line drive back to the mound. This kid puts his glove up from pure reaction because the ball is coming at his head. But in-between the time that the ball leaves the bat, and when it reaches the mound, he forgets why he put his glove up, drops his glove, and gets hit in the face with the ball. Ugh. Last game, one of the only kids on the team that can field a ground ball comes up to the other coach and tells him that he really, really doesn’t want to play in the infield this game. I have a catcher who is a complete natural behind the plate. Hustles to get passed balls, makes shotgun throws down to second base to nail baserunners, bounces out on pop foul balls. Loves being back there, and is extremely focused. Oh, just one problem, he can’t catch the ball. At all. Every single pitch pops out of his glove. Yeah, there’s a reason that they call it “catcher”. Almost all of our outfielders are scared of the ball. Pop flies, they run right to it, get the glove up, and at the last second turn away because the ball might hit them. Most of our infield would make great matadors, they treat ground balls like a bull, “Toro!” as they spin out of the way. At least the outfielders also miss it while backing up. We went an entire 6-inning game without getting a put out at first base. Do you know how hard that is to do? But more than anything else, the season can be defined as: “Coach, I made a point”.
I’m a little overwhelmed on the job front, too. I get rejection after rejection, and it is starting to wear on me. Have a couple of interviews this week and one next week. Bombed the first one, but will hopefully do better on the next two. Now I am beginning to worry though, that I still won’t have work when unemployment runs out later this year. I can survive by cashing out some of my retirement money, but if I can avoid that I would certainly like to. I just want to find a job at a company that I can be with until I no longer need to work. I was at Exclusively for nearly 16 years, and it was a dead end. I don’t want to get a job with another small company that I will be stuck in the same situation that I had to leave before. I want something where if I’m stuck in the same job, at least I can make more money every year to compensate for cost of living and such. But I fear now that I’ll have to take something crappy just to keep the roof over my head. I have friends now that are struggling and/or failing to even do that much. If I could play poker full time and supplement with some cooking/baking, I would do it. But I truly don’t think that I have the mental toughness to play poker for a living. It takes too much of a grind when you’re worried about actually NEEDING the money as opposed to having it be a bonus when you win it. I’ve done very well since losing my job. Cashed again this week, which makes 14 out of 21 this year, and 25 out of 35 since losing my job in September. But I know that streaks run both ways, and could easily not cash for a couple of months too. I’m up a little over $6K since September, which is nice as an added income, but would be terrible if I had to live on it. I keep plodding along, and hope to have something come through soon. But the longer it drags out, the more stressed I am.
At least my blood pressure is only 143/108. That’s good right?
There is plenty more on my mind, but I have a hard time motivating myself to write right now, so I shall wrap up for now. I thank you all for bearing with me during this down phase. I’ll be back to my happy self soon enough, it never lasts for long.
Wish me luck on my interviews.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Burden of Intelligence
It’s been a while since I’ve actually typed out a “real” blog, and I do apologize for that. I set the bar pretty high in March, and then disappointed terribly in April. Hopefully May will come through in a big way, and I can get back to writing regularly. April was just a funky month for me, mentally, and I’m kind of glad that it’s over.
I have a new favorite player in the NFL, and he’s someone that most of you will probably never have heard of. His name is Myron Rolle, and he was drafted in the 6th round last weekend by the Tennessee Titans. He came out of Florida State, so I already liked him, being the Seminole fan that I am. But Mr. Rolle didn’t play for the Seminoles last year. Last year he was studying at Oxford, courtesy of having been awarded a Rhodes Scholarship, pursuing a degree in medical anthropology. He graduated from FSU in 2 ½ years, and played football for the three years he was at the school. Then did a year at Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, after which he came back to the States to pursue his career, hopefully, in the NFL.
There are so many problems in the NFL right now (and really, in all sports), as far as character issues, that it is nice to see someone of this stature actually get taken in the league. So, after celebrating last Saturday when he was selected by the Titans, what was the first thing Mr. Rolle heard the analysts talk about? How he really hasn’t shown a commitment to football. When he interviewed with the head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, what was the question that the clearly non-Rhodes scholar coach asked him? “How did it feel to desert your teammates last year?” Wow. The guy graduates early, but because he doesn’t throw away an opportunity that only 32 men and women are afforded each year, he has deserted his teammates, and has a lack of commitment?
Maybe that should have been the tack to use against Bill Bradbury (the only former pro-athlete who is also a former Rhodes Scholar) when running against him in elections. Sure, he’s smart and all, but he deserted his teammates for a year when they really could have used him.
Myron Rolle is smart, well-spoken, and charismatic. He’s discussed health care policy with one of those other Rhodes Scholars, Bill Clinton. He plans on using some of the money he makes in the NFL to build a medical clinic in the Bahamas. He should be the person that the NFL should be latching onto as the type of player it wants.
I don’t buy into the race-card very often, but I do wonder if the reception would have been different if Mr. Rolle were white and played quarterback. But he’s black, and plays safety. That type of player is “supposed” to be dumb and pliable. Just shut up and work hard, and you’ll do just fine.
The biggest problem, though, is that he’s smart in a profession that doesn’t value intelligence. Hell, he’s smart in a society that doesn’t value intelligence. Intelligence scares people. When George W. Bush “beat” Al Gore in 2000, the one thing that I heard from SOOO many people was, “Bush just seems like someone I could sit around and drink a beer with”. Gore came across as stuck-up and too smart for the average person to relate to. Bush was just a good ol’ boy. Obviously, we probably should have gone with the smart guy, but hey, intelligence isn’t high up on this country’s priorities.
Intelligence has become a burden in our society. Rather than being lauded as something good and worthy of praise, it causes a backlash from the vast majority of people that don’t possess it. I was fortunate enough to be gifted with a higher level of intelligence than most. But when I was young, it was the single biggest factor in my lack of social skills. I moved around a lot as a kid. When I finally settled into a school in the 3rd grade, I was the kid that blew the bell curve by a mile. So not only was I the “new” kid, but I made everything more difficult for the other kids in class because I was smarter than they were.
Eventually, I learned to “hide” my intelligence. I would act dumb, I wouldn’t try very hard on tests, I would screw up on purpose, all so that I might “fit in” better with the rest of the kids. As soon as I did this, I got a lot more friends. I was “okay” now, because I wasn’t smarter than everyone else. I was “one of the guys”, and it was okay to like me now.
It’s terrible that as a society, we don’t place a higher value on intelligence. Sure, we all want Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, et. al. to continue providing us with the neato magic boxes that make the shiny noises and stuff. But God forbid we should ever actually be associated with nerds like that. We couldn’t be “cool” then.
We’re all living in a world that thinks like a 14-year old, and it’s only getting worse.
Personally, I embrace the people in my life who are intelligent. If they’re smarter than me, I try to learn. If they’re not as smart as me, I try to teach. The world can only be a better place if we’re smart enough to make it so. So I do not question Myron Rolle’s commitment. He could be in medical school right now, and instead, he’s playing a game that will destroy his body in only a few years. More than anyone in his draft class, he understands the risks that he is facing. And he’s doing it anyway. If anything, I believe that makes him MORE committed, not less.
I have a new favorite player in the NFL, and he’s someone that most of you will probably never have heard of. His name is Myron Rolle, and he was drafted in the 6th round last weekend by the Tennessee Titans. He came out of Florida State, so I already liked him, being the Seminole fan that I am. But Mr. Rolle didn’t play for the Seminoles last year. Last year he was studying at Oxford, courtesy of having been awarded a Rhodes Scholarship, pursuing a degree in medical anthropology. He graduated from FSU in 2 ½ years, and played football for the three years he was at the school. Then did a year at Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, after which he came back to the States to pursue his career, hopefully, in the NFL.
There are so many problems in the NFL right now (and really, in all sports), as far as character issues, that it is nice to see someone of this stature actually get taken in the league. So, after celebrating last Saturday when he was selected by the Titans, what was the first thing Mr. Rolle heard the analysts talk about? How he really hasn’t shown a commitment to football. When he interviewed with the head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, what was the question that the clearly non-Rhodes scholar coach asked him? “How did it feel to desert your teammates last year?” Wow. The guy graduates early, but because he doesn’t throw away an opportunity that only 32 men and women are afforded each year, he has deserted his teammates, and has a lack of commitment?
Maybe that should have been the tack to use against Bill Bradbury (the only former pro-athlete who is also a former Rhodes Scholar) when running against him in elections. Sure, he’s smart and all, but he deserted his teammates for a year when they really could have used him.
Myron Rolle is smart, well-spoken, and charismatic. He’s discussed health care policy with one of those other Rhodes Scholars, Bill Clinton. He plans on using some of the money he makes in the NFL to build a medical clinic in the Bahamas. He should be the person that the NFL should be latching onto as the type of player it wants.
I don’t buy into the race-card very often, but I do wonder if the reception would have been different if Mr. Rolle were white and played quarterback. But he’s black, and plays safety. That type of player is “supposed” to be dumb and pliable. Just shut up and work hard, and you’ll do just fine.
The biggest problem, though, is that he’s smart in a profession that doesn’t value intelligence. Hell, he’s smart in a society that doesn’t value intelligence. Intelligence scares people. When George W. Bush “beat” Al Gore in 2000, the one thing that I heard from SOOO many people was, “Bush just seems like someone I could sit around and drink a beer with”. Gore came across as stuck-up and too smart for the average person to relate to. Bush was just a good ol’ boy. Obviously, we probably should have gone with the smart guy, but hey, intelligence isn’t high up on this country’s priorities.
Intelligence has become a burden in our society. Rather than being lauded as something good and worthy of praise, it causes a backlash from the vast majority of people that don’t possess it. I was fortunate enough to be gifted with a higher level of intelligence than most. But when I was young, it was the single biggest factor in my lack of social skills. I moved around a lot as a kid. When I finally settled into a school in the 3rd grade, I was the kid that blew the bell curve by a mile. So not only was I the “new” kid, but I made everything more difficult for the other kids in class because I was smarter than they were.
Eventually, I learned to “hide” my intelligence. I would act dumb, I wouldn’t try very hard on tests, I would screw up on purpose, all so that I might “fit in” better with the rest of the kids. As soon as I did this, I got a lot more friends. I was “okay” now, because I wasn’t smarter than everyone else. I was “one of the guys”, and it was okay to like me now.
It’s terrible that as a society, we don’t place a higher value on intelligence. Sure, we all want Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, et. al. to continue providing us with the neato magic boxes that make the shiny noises and stuff. But God forbid we should ever actually be associated with nerds like that. We couldn’t be “cool” then.
We’re all living in a world that thinks like a 14-year old, and it’s only getting worse.
Personally, I embrace the people in my life who are intelligent. If they’re smarter than me, I try to learn. If they’re not as smart as me, I try to teach. The world can only be a better place if we’re smart enough to make it so. So I do not question Myron Rolle’s commitment. He could be in medical school right now, and instead, he’s playing a game that will destroy his body in only a few years. More than anyone in his draft class, he understands the risks that he is facing. And he’s doing it anyway. If anything, I believe that makes him MORE committed, not less.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Adjusting Expectations
Amazing how fast a week goes by. Pretty much a lot of baseball and poker over the past week, and not a lot of time for anything else.
Baseball team was scheduled to play five games in five days, and we actually managed to get four of them in. Despite a few close calls on rain, only one of them actually got rained out. And on the bright side, we went 2-2 in those games. One of the two wins came against a AA team, which is one division below us. Realistically, we should have been in that division, as it is meant for the teams that have players who don't really know what they're doing. That is our team. Both Chris and I had the same assessment of the team we played tonight. If you had us coaching that team, and their coaches coaching our team, the score would have been reversed. They had just as much talent, but no idea what to do with it.
My pitchers are finally starting to throw some strikes. Unfortunately, the pitchers who are throwing strikes are the kids who are unable to strike anyone out. That means that we have to field the ball, which we can't do. So we've gone from giving up 10-15 runs a game on walks, to where we're giving up 10-15 runs a game on errors. Both are frustrating, but at least the errors are something that I don't have to feel as bad about. If my pitchers do their job, I feel like I've done mine. Walks are directly attributable to me and my pitchers, whereas errors are not. I'd be happy if neither happened, but if I have to choose, I'm going to choose the path where I've done my part.
I do now realize that we're going to have a tough time coming in higher than last place in our division. The only AAA team that we have beat is Springfield, and unfortunately they play in the South division while we play in the North. I've now scouted every team in the league, and it's not looking good. If I can get my actual strikeout pitchers to throw strikes, maybe, MAYBE we can come in third or fourth out of our five team division.
At the start of the year, like I do every year, I felt that if both Chris and I did our jobs to the best of our ability, that we would at least compete for a title. I realize now that you can only do so much when your entire team is younger than the youngest kids on every other team in the league. No matter how good the 7 and 8 year olds are, they just can't compete with the 10 and 11 year olds that we're playing against. But we're teaching them the fundamentals, and hopefully they will begin to grow as players in the next couple of years.
Poker karma worked out, as I did indeed cash at AIPCO. I took third, which brought another $500 into the coffers. Puts me up almost $6K since losing my job last September. It was a funny night, though. It's amazing how quickly you adjust your expectations, and how getting close only makes the defeat that much more bitter. I should never have made the final table. I should have gone out about 23rd or so. With only 9K in chips, the blinds were 2K-4K, and I was in the big blind. Someone raised, and I threw my last chip in without even looking at my hand. She had pocket Jacks, and I had 9-2 off-suit. I was 11% to win, but I did, and then went on a pretty good run to get to the final table. Once I was there, I got lucky once again when I had someone fold pocket Queens to my reraise preflop with pocket 9's. So, I should have been happy getting as far as I did. But I wasn't. I had the chip lead 3-handed, and almost never lose when that is the case. So when I busted out in third, I felt as though I had let a tremendous opportunity (as well as another $700 or so) slip away from me. Even though I knew I had been extremely lucky to get there, once I was there, my expectations had been adjusted and I felt like I should have won. You only get so many opportunities to take those down, and you need to capitalize when you do. Still, $500 is a nice night of work, and I can't complain too much.
We finally have a winner in the WSOP tournament too. Not who I thought it would be. Randy came back from the big chip deficit, and won the trip down there. I'm happy for him. I had pegged him to be the first person out, and he did exactly the opposite. But no one would enjoy the trip more than him. It was fun to watch, really. If I can afford it, I'm going down there to cheer him on. Even if he's out on the first day, he'll just enjoy the experience so much.
Not much else going on with me outside of baseball and poker, so I don't have a lot of random thoughts this week.
However...
Just watched Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Not bad, but not as good as the original. The thing that stood out to me more than anything though: Damn, Val Kilmer has let himself go. I mean, it's not like I can say anything, because I'm not nearly as svelte as I once was, but damn! Val can obviously afford to hire either a personal trainer or Elvis' old cook, and he chose the latter. Hasn't been that long since he was in damn good shape. Now he just looks fat and old. I mean, I know you're 50 now, but Brad Pitt is 46, and still looks like Brad Pitt. You now look like this:
Seriously, you can afford a personal trainer, dude.
I read today where some of the cities in Europe that have had flights grounded for the last week after the volcano eruption are now seeing the clearest skies in the last 50 years. Amazing how quickly things can correct themselves if we let them. The haze created just from the jet engine exhaust was enough to limit the air quality in dozens of cities. But once they went a week without flights, the skies were all blue.
Reminds me of the show on the History Channel a couple of years ago, that showed what would happen to the world if humans were gone. The biggest change was the oceans, where fish populations would skyrocket in only a few years. As it is, we'll probably hit the tipping point towards many species of fish extinction in my lifetime. Not that I care, I will have died from mercury poisoning from my swordfish long before they will have become extinct.
Okay folks, until my next post, or at the worst, next week, I hope all of you have nothing but health and happiness. Sorry about burning that image of Val Kilmer into your retinas.
Baseball team was scheduled to play five games in five days, and we actually managed to get four of them in. Despite a few close calls on rain, only one of them actually got rained out. And on the bright side, we went 2-2 in those games. One of the two wins came against a AA team, which is one division below us. Realistically, we should have been in that division, as it is meant for the teams that have players who don't really know what they're doing. That is our team. Both Chris and I had the same assessment of the team we played tonight. If you had us coaching that team, and their coaches coaching our team, the score would have been reversed. They had just as much talent, but no idea what to do with it.
My pitchers are finally starting to throw some strikes. Unfortunately, the pitchers who are throwing strikes are the kids who are unable to strike anyone out. That means that we have to field the ball, which we can't do. So we've gone from giving up 10-15 runs a game on walks, to where we're giving up 10-15 runs a game on errors. Both are frustrating, but at least the errors are something that I don't have to feel as bad about. If my pitchers do their job, I feel like I've done mine. Walks are directly attributable to me and my pitchers, whereas errors are not. I'd be happy if neither happened, but if I have to choose, I'm going to choose the path where I've done my part.
I do now realize that we're going to have a tough time coming in higher than last place in our division. The only AAA team that we have beat is Springfield, and unfortunately they play in the South division while we play in the North. I've now scouted every team in the league, and it's not looking good. If I can get my actual strikeout pitchers to throw strikes, maybe, MAYBE we can come in third or fourth out of our five team division.
At the start of the year, like I do every year, I felt that if both Chris and I did our jobs to the best of our ability, that we would at least compete for a title. I realize now that you can only do so much when your entire team is younger than the youngest kids on every other team in the league. No matter how good the 7 and 8 year olds are, they just can't compete with the 10 and 11 year olds that we're playing against. But we're teaching them the fundamentals, and hopefully they will begin to grow as players in the next couple of years.
Poker karma worked out, as I did indeed cash at AIPCO. I took third, which brought another $500 into the coffers. Puts me up almost $6K since losing my job last September. It was a funny night, though. It's amazing how quickly you adjust your expectations, and how getting close only makes the defeat that much more bitter. I should never have made the final table. I should have gone out about 23rd or so. With only 9K in chips, the blinds were 2K-4K, and I was in the big blind. Someone raised, and I threw my last chip in without even looking at my hand. She had pocket Jacks, and I had 9-2 off-suit. I was 11% to win, but I did, and then went on a pretty good run to get to the final table. Once I was there, I got lucky once again when I had someone fold pocket Queens to my reraise preflop with pocket 9's. So, I should have been happy getting as far as I did. But I wasn't. I had the chip lead 3-handed, and almost never lose when that is the case. So when I busted out in third, I felt as though I had let a tremendous opportunity (as well as another $700 or so) slip away from me. Even though I knew I had been extremely lucky to get there, once I was there, my expectations had been adjusted and I felt like I should have won. You only get so many opportunities to take those down, and you need to capitalize when you do. Still, $500 is a nice night of work, and I can't complain too much.
We finally have a winner in the WSOP tournament too. Not who I thought it would be. Randy came back from the big chip deficit, and won the trip down there. I'm happy for him. I had pegged him to be the first person out, and he did exactly the opposite. But no one would enjoy the trip more than him. It was fun to watch, really. If I can afford it, I'm going down there to cheer him on. Even if he's out on the first day, he'll just enjoy the experience so much.
Not much else going on with me outside of baseball and poker, so I don't have a lot of random thoughts this week.
However...
Just watched Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Not bad, but not as good as the original. The thing that stood out to me more than anything though: Damn, Val Kilmer has let himself go. I mean, it's not like I can say anything, because I'm not nearly as svelte as I once was, but damn! Val can obviously afford to hire either a personal trainer or Elvis' old cook, and he chose the latter. Hasn't been that long since he was in damn good shape. Now he just looks fat and old. I mean, I know you're 50 now, but Brad Pitt is 46, and still looks like Brad Pitt. You now look like this:
Seriously, you can afford a personal trainer, dude.
I read today where some of the cities in Europe that have had flights grounded for the last week after the volcano eruption are now seeing the clearest skies in the last 50 years. Amazing how quickly things can correct themselves if we let them. The haze created just from the jet engine exhaust was enough to limit the air quality in dozens of cities. But once they went a week without flights, the skies were all blue.
Reminds me of the show on the History Channel a couple of years ago, that showed what would happen to the world if humans were gone. The biggest change was the oceans, where fish populations would skyrocket in only a few years. As it is, we'll probably hit the tipping point towards many species of fish extinction in my lifetime. Not that I care, I will have died from mercury poisoning from my swordfish long before they will have become extinct.
Okay folks, until my next post, or at the worst, next week, I hope all of you have nothing but health and happiness. Sorry about burning that image of Val Kilmer into your retinas.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Geez, write a blog already, will ya?!
Way too long to go without writing, I know. But between baseball and poker, it has really been a long couple of weeks. I know that my writing will be more sporadic during baseball season, and if the season continues as it has been, I'll be a little too depressed to write regularly. Ugh. Not going well so far. It's been a hard season so far, and unless my pitchers can start throwing some strikes, it will be a very long season for sure.
As I mentioned on my facebook page after yesterday's game: We threw a one-hitter!!! Unfortunately, we walked 12, had a hit batter, and my pitchers made three errors. So we lost 14-1, our third straight blowout loss. My pitchers are damn near unhittable when they are throwing strikes. Unfortunately, they aren't throwing strikes all that much. Even the "control" pitchers that I am throwing are struggling to throw strikes. My "ace" only gave up two runs in two innings, but they were both kids that he walked. We walked 12, and all 12 scored. Not good. Much like the last game, when we walked 11, but struck out 12, the other team has no chance on the strikes. My kids are too good. We just need to get them throwing more strikes.
So, that has been the most frustrating thing to deal with so far this year.
The streak is finally over in poker. I cashed for 11 straight weeks, but finished 9th tonight, four spots out. Just couldn't really get anything going all night. Never got paid off on my big hands, and couldn't win enough chips to keep me alive. I'm hoping that it means that I'll cash at AIPCO on Friday. Still quite the accomplishment, I cashed in every tournament from January 26th through April 6th. I think that will be one of those Joe Dimaggio type streaks that no one is going to touch for however long I host this weekly game.
Our big $1K tournament was this past weekend, and the winner is.... still to be determined. The final two, Randy Thoms and Donnie Fowler, played for 21 hours over two days, and will come back Thursday to try and play to a winner. It might take longer than that, given their playing styles. The last of the pre-tournament favorites, Tom Auld, went out in fourth place, after getting all-in as a 3-1 favorite. Then the person who had dominated in chips from early in the tournament, Tim Lea, went into chip meltdown mode, and burned through 110K in chips in an hour. (This is with 400-800 blinds). That left it heads up, with Donnie holding a substantial chip lead. I think Donnie has a better chance to cash in the main event, but Randy is playing well right now, and would enjoy the experience more.
Not a whole heck of a lot going on with me other than baseball and poker right now. That's been 99.9% of my brain power for the last two weeks.
I am, however, reading a great book about Pat Garrett, and learned some really interesting things about him, Billy the Kid, and all the supporting cast of characters in that time of history. It's really a fascinating read, that some people will be getting for Christmas this year. First, the governor of New Mexico who hired Garrett to track down and kill Billy the Kid was Lew Wallace. Wallace went on to become far more famous as the man who wrote the book Ben Hur, which went on to be the biggest Oscar winning film of all time.
The chief legal adversary of Garrett was a man named Albert Fall. He had a number of courtroom run-ins with Garrett, working as a defense attorney (which he was reportedly VERY good at), most famously in the murder trial of Albert Fountain, whose killers Garrett had brought to justice. Fall would also defend Jesse Brazel for the murder of Pat Garrett, and get him acquitted.
Well, Albert Fall, in part because of the notoriety that he gained from his dealings with Garrett (and in part because of the fact that he was rich, corrupt, and well connected in New Mexico), would become a U.S. Senator from New Mexico. Eventually he would become secretary of the interior under Warren Harding. For you history majors out there, the Albert Fall that butted heads with Pat Garrett for 20-some years in New Mexico is the same Albert Fall behind the Teapot Dome scandal that was the biggest bribery scandal in U.S. history to that point.
Jesse Brazel, who purportedly (although now evidence points to the contrary) shot and killed Pat Garrett, would disappear after the death of his wife in 1913. Eventually his family would hire a private investigator to track him down, and it was discovered that he travelled to South America, where he was killed by none other than Butch Cassidy.
I just found the book to be quite fascinating with all the "small world" moments, where these people either went on to much bigger things, or found themselves in the company of much more famous people.
Well, that's about all the news that's fit to print for now. I will attempt to get an actual blog, rather than just a weekly recap, within the next week.
Wish me luck in baseball, I have five games in five days starting on Saturday. Might be a long week. If you don't hear from me again, I had a heart attack.
Thank you all for being who you are, and for giving me the pleasure of having you in my life.
As I mentioned on my facebook page after yesterday's game: We threw a one-hitter!!! Unfortunately, we walked 12, had a hit batter, and my pitchers made three errors. So we lost 14-1, our third straight blowout loss. My pitchers are damn near unhittable when they are throwing strikes. Unfortunately, they aren't throwing strikes all that much. Even the "control" pitchers that I am throwing are struggling to throw strikes. My "ace" only gave up two runs in two innings, but they were both kids that he walked. We walked 12, and all 12 scored. Not good. Much like the last game, when we walked 11, but struck out 12, the other team has no chance on the strikes. My kids are too good. We just need to get them throwing more strikes.
So, that has been the most frustrating thing to deal with so far this year.
The streak is finally over in poker. I cashed for 11 straight weeks, but finished 9th tonight, four spots out. Just couldn't really get anything going all night. Never got paid off on my big hands, and couldn't win enough chips to keep me alive. I'm hoping that it means that I'll cash at AIPCO on Friday. Still quite the accomplishment, I cashed in every tournament from January 26th through April 6th. I think that will be one of those Joe Dimaggio type streaks that no one is going to touch for however long I host this weekly game.
Our big $1K tournament was this past weekend, and the winner is.... still to be determined. The final two, Randy Thoms and Donnie Fowler, played for 21 hours over two days, and will come back Thursday to try and play to a winner. It might take longer than that, given their playing styles. The last of the pre-tournament favorites, Tom Auld, went out in fourth place, after getting all-in as a 3-1 favorite. Then the person who had dominated in chips from early in the tournament, Tim Lea, went into chip meltdown mode, and burned through 110K in chips in an hour. (This is with 400-800 blinds). That left it heads up, with Donnie holding a substantial chip lead. I think Donnie has a better chance to cash in the main event, but Randy is playing well right now, and would enjoy the experience more.
Not a whole heck of a lot going on with me other than baseball and poker right now. That's been 99.9% of my brain power for the last two weeks.
I am, however, reading a great book about Pat Garrett, and learned some really interesting things about him, Billy the Kid, and all the supporting cast of characters in that time of history. It's really a fascinating read, that some people will be getting for Christmas this year. First, the governor of New Mexico who hired Garrett to track down and kill Billy the Kid was Lew Wallace. Wallace went on to become far more famous as the man who wrote the book Ben Hur, which went on to be the biggest Oscar winning film of all time.
The chief legal adversary of Garrett was a man named Albert Fall. He had a number of courtroom run-ins with Garrett, working as a defense attorney (which he was reportedly VERY good at), most famously in the murder trial of Albert Fountain, whose killers Garrett had brought to justice. Fall would also defend Jesse Brazel for the murder of Pat Garrett, and get him acquitted.
Well, Albert Fall, in part because of the notoriety that he gained from his dealings with Garrett (and in part because of the fact that he was rich, corrupt, and well connected in New Mexico), would become a U.S. Senator from New Mexico. Eventually he would become secretary of the interior under Warren Harding. For you history majors out there, the Albert Fall that butted heads with Pat Garrett for 20-some years in New Mexico is the same Albert Fall behind the Teapot Dome scandal that was the biggest bribery scandal in U.S. history to that point.
Jesse Brazel, who purportedly (although now evidence points to the contrary) shot and killed Pat Garrett, would disappear after the death of his wife in 1913. Eventually his family would hire a private investigator to track him down, and it was discovered that he travelled to South America, where he was killed by none other than Butch Cassidy.
I just found the book to be quite fascinating with all the "small world" moments, where these people either went on to much bigger things, or found themselves in the company of much more famous people.
Well, that's about all the news that's fit to print for now. I will attempt to get an actual blog, rather than just a weekly recap, within the next week.
Wish me luck in baseball, I have five games in five days starting on Saturday. Might be a long week. If you don't hear from me again, I had a heart attack.
Thank you all for being who you are, and for giving me the pleasure of having you in my life.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
"Well, that sucked." and other thoughts from the past week.
Well, I ran the first two of my WSOP sub-satellites this past weekend. Haven't been that unlucky in a long while. Pocket kings busted by a set of 7's. AK busted by a set of 7's on an Ace high board. Got my own set of Jacks, lost with them. Twice. In some ways it was amazing that I was able to last as long as I did either day, but in the end, I just couldn't get lucky at all. Skill was on my side, especially Sunday, when I knew right where I was every time. Unfortunately, the luck part of the equation didn't come through at all. C'est la vie, no WSOP for me this year. On the bright side, of the four seats that I awarded this weekend, two of them went to students of mine, who both played very well.
The one bright note for poker would be that I did cash at "The Rob" for the 9th straight week. Really quite amazing. But I'd gladly give them all up for a seat in the $1K, and a couple of cashes at AIPCO instead.
Lots of other news this week that struck me as interesting....
Ever heard of Robert Harrison? Google the name, with "Icarus" project, and check it out. Dude is pretty amazing. He takes weather balloons, and duct tapes on a used Canon camera that he bought off of ebay. He reprogrammed the camera to wake up every 5 minutes, take 8 photos and a video, and then shut off for a rest. The pictures are amazing. NASA said that it would take them about $450 million to do what this guy has done. His total cost: $750. Um, I'm thinking this is someone that should be in charge of something, rather than doing this as a hobby.
Speaking of space, saw a story this week that there are a few billion more stars out there than we had thought. Um, I'm thinking it's a whole lot more than that. Hubble doesn't even scratch the surface of what all is out there, folks. That whole Carl Sagan "billions and billions" of stars that so many people made fun of... looking pretty solid now.
Bill Maher was fantastic this week. Bill: "Remember a couple of months ago, when Sarah Palin came out asking 'How's that whole hopey-changey thing working out for you?' 'Great. How's that whole hooked-on-phonics thing working out for you?'"
He also brought up the quote from John McCain this past week, and how much his partisanship has diverged from the guy who gave such a classy concession speech 16 months ago. In that speech, McCain came across as a person who really did put "country first" and wanted to work at joining together both sides of the aisle. Compare that to the person who this week came out with the "No co-operation the rest of the year" speech. Is this the same guy?
Science story this week about the world's phosphorous reserves hitting their peak in the next couple of decades. I'm sure most of you could care less about that, but you should. No phosphorous means no fertilizer. No fertilizer means agricultural crops drop 15-25% annually. 30 years from now, the world population will have grown by a couple of billion people. With less food. Do the math.
In other "feel good about the future" news, Social Security was in the red for the first time this year. Yes, folks, that tipping point has been reached, and we'll now be losing money until it runs out. Good thing I've got such a solid job that I don't have to worry about th... Oh, wait a minute....
Speaking of... Now looking like I won't be getting the TSA gig. At least not for a while. I'm finally in the system, but they stopped looking to hire anyone right about the time I started this process. I can stay in the system for two years, and hopefully something will come along before I run out of unemployment.
Remember last week, when I was talking about how I hoped that the good weather wouldn't end just in time to rain out my first 10 games? Well, game one was tonight, and it was rained out. Game two is Wednesday, and not looking so good. Game three is Thursday, also not looking good. Hmmm, wish I had been wrong.
On the bright side, my pitchers are starting to look GOOOOOOOOOOD. Like, unhittable good. I now have four that I have no problem throwing out there, and feeling pretty confident with. And a fifth who will be fine once he gets a little more practice. He was out for a week with illness, and then went on vacation for spring break, so he lost two weeks of work. But my top couple of kids, I don't think there's more than 5 or 6 kids in the whole league who will be able to hit them.
So, tell me, someone who knows movies better than me, how did Midnight Cowboy win best picture, and Dustin Hoffman not win best actor? I thought the movie pretty much sucked, but the one thing that kept me watching it, the ONLY really redeeming quality in my eyes, was Hoffman's portrayal of Ratzo Rizzo. Honestly, the reason he didn't win is because he really should have been nominated as supporting actor, which would have made him a slam dunk. But the movie beat out Butch Cassidey and the Sundance Kid, which amazes me. This was the first of my "classic" movies that I've been renting from Netflix that I was really disappointed in.
Finally caught up on the new series Justified. Think this one is going to be a winner.
Not much else new or wonderful going on with me. Wish me luck in poker, as I go for 10 in a row at "The Rob" tomorrow night.
Thank you all for making my life a better place.
The one bright note for poker would be that I did cash at "The Rob" for the 9th straight week. Really quite amazing. But I'd gladly give them all up for a seat in the $1K, and a couple of cashes at AIPCO instead.
Lots of other news this week that struck me as interesting....
Ever heard of Robert Harrison? Google the name, with "Icarus" project, and check it out. Dude is pretty amazing. He takes weather balloons, and duct tapes on a used Canon camera that he bought off of ebay. He reprogrammed the camera to wake up every 5 minutes, take 8 photos and a video, and then shut off for a rest. The pictures are amazing. NASA said that it would take them about $450 million to do what this guy has done. His total cost: $750. Um, I'm thinking this is someone that should be in charge of something, rather than doing this as a hobby.
Speaking of space, saw a story this week that there are a few billion more stars out there than we had thought. Um, I'm thinking it's a whole lot more than that. Hubble doesn't even scratch the surface of what all is out there, folks. That whole Carl Sagan "billions and billions" of stars that so many people made fun of... looking pretty solid now.
Bill Maher was fantastic this week. Bill: "Remember a couple of months ago, when Sarah Palin came out asking 'How's that whole hopey-changey thing working out for you?' 'Great. How's that whole hooked-on-phonics thing working out for you?'"
He also brought up the quote from John McCain this past week, and how much his partisanship has diverged from the guy who gave such a classy concession speech 16 months ago. In that speech, McCain came across as a person who really did put "country first" and wanted to work at joining together both sides of the aisle. Compare that to the person who this week came out with the "No co-operation the rest of the year" speech. Is this the same guy?
Science story this week about the world's phosphorous reserves hitting their peak in the next couple of decades. I'm sure most of you could care less about that, but you should. No phosphorous means no fertilizer. No fertilizer means agricultural crops drop 15-25% annually. 30 years from now, the world population will have grown by a couple of billion people. With less food. Do the math.
In other "feel good about the future" news, Social Security was in the red for the first time this year. Yes, folks, that tipping point has been reached, and we'll now be losing money until it runs out. Good thing I've got such a solid job that I don't have to worry about th... Oh, wait a minute....
Speaking of... Now looking like I won't be getting the TSA gig. At least not for a while. I'm finally in the system, but they stopped looking to hire anyone right about the time I started this process. I can stay in the system for two years, and hopefully something will come along before I run out of unemployment.
Remember last week, when I was talking about how I hoped that the good weather wouldn't end just in time to rain out my first 10 games? Well, game one was tonight, and it was rained out. Game two is Wednesday, and not looking so good. Game three is Thursday, also not looking good. Hmmm, wish I had been wrong.
On the bright side, my pitchers are starting to look GOOOOOOOOOOD. Like, unhittable good. I now have four that I have no problem throwing out there, and feeling pretty confident with. And a fifth who will be fine once he gets a little more practice. He was out for a week with illness, and then went on vacation for spring break, so he lost two weeks of work. But my top couple of kids, I don't think there's more than 5 or 6 kids in the whole league who will be able to hit them.
So, tell me, someone who knows movies better than me, how did Midnight Cowboy win best picture, and Dustin Hoffman not win best actor? I thought the movie pretty much sucked, but the one thing that kept me watching it, the ONLY really redeeming quality in my eyes, was Hoffman's portrayal of Ratzo Rizzo. Honestly, the reason he didn't win is because he really should have been nominated as supporting actor, which would have made him a slam dunk. But the movie beat out Butch Cassidey and the Sundance Kid, which amazes me. This was the first of my "classic" movies that I've been renting from Netflix that I was really disappointed in.
Finally caught up on the new series Justified. Think this one is going to be a winner.
Not much else new or wonderful going on with me. Wish me luck in poker, as I go for 10 in a row at "The Rob" tomorrow night.
Thank you all for making my life a better place.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Taking the road less traveled
So, as I've mentioned in the past couple of weeks, I'm a big fan of the TV show Breaking Bad. For those of you unfamiliar with it, I'll give a brief synopsis. It tells the story of a high school chemistry teacher, Walter White, who is dying of cancer. His health insurance won't cover the costs of his treatment, and his wife is pregnant with a child they hadn't planned on. His son has MS. So basically he's about to die, and leave his family with a pile of debt that they have no hope of paying off. So he ends up manufacturing crystal meth, and because of his chemistry background, he's able to make the purest form ever seen. He ends up partnering with one of his former students, and eventually becomes a major player in the drug trade in the southwest US.
It's a fabulous show, for so many reasons. Bryan Cranston plays Walter White. Most of you would know him as the dad in Malcolm in the Middle. And if that's the only thing you know him from, you'll be amazed at just how good of a dramatic actor he is. Aaron Paul plays his partner, and also does a great job. But the real star of the show is the writing. They constantly put these characters into situations that the show's creator calls the "watercooler" moments, in reference to the old practice of people standing around the watercooler discussing interesting shows the following day. His goal is to create these situations that are 100% grey, no black, no white.
The whole concept of the show is a grey area, really. What would you do for the people that you love? To what lengths would you sacrifice your own health, sanity, freedom, morality, even your soul if you so choose to believe in one? What would you give up in order to secure the future of the people that you love? I think that in the beginning, most of us would be willing to do almost anything, especially if we knew that we were going to die soon. I know that I would. I, of course, have the added benefit of not believing in God, and therefore don't worry much about Judgement Day. I try to live a life that is fairly moral and good, but it is because I choose to be that way, not because I'm afraid there might be consequences if I don't. So if I were going to be dead soon, I would do what I had to do to make things as easy as possible for the ones I love. Not everyone would go that route, but I think that most of us would have that as our first instinct.
The problems that follow afterwards though are the ones that are interesting to me. As the show progresses over the course of now 3 seasons, Walter finds that he likes the power and control over his life that being the bad guy allows him to have. He keeps trying to look at himself as a good person, who is only doing this for his family. But the further he goes down that road, the less it is about that, and the more it is about the allure of the darker path. There's a great scene in season 2 where he's in a hardware store, and he spots a guy with all the things to cook meth. He goes over to the guy and tells him all the things he's doing wrong. Then he is in the parking lot, and spots the guy with his partner. He goes over and tells them to stay the hell out of his territory. You can see the pleasure that he gets out of exerting that power. Six months before, he was nothing but a chemistry teacher, and now he's this person of almost mythic proportions. And he can't get enough of it.
I could go on and on about the show. Netflix it, rent it, whatever you have to do, but watch it. It's that good.
However, I don't want to make this blog ENTIRELY about the show. Rather, I just want to talk about the nature of good and evil a bit. The two scenes that have popped into my head are the Empire Strikes Back "You don't know the POWER of the Dark Side", and the scene in the bar in Se7en, where Morgan Freeman is telling Brad Pitt "Of course it's easier to steal what you need, rather than to earn it..." Evil is easier, because you have less to answer for. Being good requires a lot more work. This is true on all levels, not just the grandiose. It's easier to sit on the couch eating Ben and Jerry's than it is to eat a salad and go to the gym. It's easier to let things pile up on your desk than it is to actually pay bills, file the paperwork, and keep on top of things. It's definitely easier to ignore the people in your life who need time, effort, help, love, compassion, until such time as YOU need those things, or have something else to gain by devoting time to them.
I see the tendrils of this topic spreading into so many different areas. It is almost overwhelming to think about when you step back and look at the bigger picture here. It touches on the overly litigious nature of our society in the past 30-40 years. It certainly impacts the fact that our apathy in general, and especially in the educational system, have crippled us on an international scale. It explains how we have allowed ourselves to become so depressed as a societal whole that we take more Prozac, Paxil and Xanax in this country in a month than the rest of the world combined takes in a year. Even the US Army, the last bastion of truth, justice and the American way, this week came out with changes to their boot camp training, adjusting for "softer" kids, raised on video games.
Too many of us choose the easy path now. Too many people refuse to put forth the effort for something more. It scares me, not because I think it affects me, but because I don't see it changing in my lifetime. I don't know how it will. We reached the tipping point somewhere in the last 20 years, and I don't think we can ever get it back. For me personally, it's actually a good thing. I'm smarter and work harder than the average person, so I will be more in demand in this new world order. Furthermore, I don't have kids, so I don't have to worry about the declining state of affairs that my children will have to contend with.
I do, however, care about my world. I care about the future for my nieces and nephew, and for the children of my friends. I care about society in general. As I've said before, for the most part, I'm a socialist, in the truest sense of the word. I care about society as a whole, and want to see it bettered for all.
I remember a saying I used to have when I tried to describe what went wrong in one of my previous relationships. I said that I spent the past year digging in the dirt, filling sandbags to keep the dam from breaking, only to look up at the end of that time and see that I was the only one with a shovel. Sometimes I feel that way about things now. Obviously I'm not the only one with a shovel in the world. But I do feel outnumbered. I do feel as though there are far more people sitting back in their Barcaloungers with a bag of Funyuns, waiting for the show that TV guide promises will be the best representation of the Apocalypse yet.
I will not give up the fight, though. I will continue to bring joy and happiness to those around me. I will continue to work hard, play hard, live hard. As is printed on one of my favorite T-shirts: "I will not tiptoe through life, only to arrive safely at death".
We all have a choice, every day. It's always the same, every day. We can choose to do good, to live well, to help those around us. Or we can choose the easy path, that well worn road of apathy, indifference, and callousness.
As Robert Frost put it best:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
May we all take that less traveled path. May we all work towards the common good, and the common health and well-being of our peers.
It's a fabulous show, for so many reasons. Bryan Cranston plays Walter White. Most of you would know him as the dad in Malcolm in the Middle. And if that's the only thing you know him from, you'll be amazed at just how good of a dramatic actor he is. Aaron Paul plays his partner, and also does a great job. But the real star of the show is the writing. They constantly put these characters into situations that the show's creator calls the "watercooler" moments, in reference to the old practice of people standing around the watercooler discussing interesting shows the following day. His goal is to create these situations that are 100% grey, no black, no white.
The whole concept of the show is a grey area, really. What would you do for the people that you love? To what lengths would you sacrifice your own health, sanity, freedom, morality, even your soul if you so choose to believe in one? What would you give up in order to secure the future of the people that you love? I think that in the beginning, most of us would be willing to do almost anything, especially if we knew that we were going to die soon. I know that I would. I, of course, have the added benefit of not believing in God, and therefore don't worry much about Judgement Day. I try to live a life that is fairly moral and good, but it is because I choose to be that way, not because I'm afraid there might be consequences if I don't. So if I were going to be dead soon, I would do what I had to do to make things as easy as possible for the ones I love. Not everyone would go that route, but I think that most of us would have that as our first instinct.
The problems that follow afterwards though are the ones that are interesting to me. As the show progresses over the course of now 3 seasons, Walter finds that he likes the power and control over his life that being the bad guy allows him to have. He keeps trying to look at himself as a good person, who is only doing this for his family. But the further he goes down that road, the less it is about that, and the more it is about the allure of the darker path. There's a great scene in season 2 where he's in a hardware store, and he spots a guy with all the things to cook meth. He goes over to the guy and tells him all the things he's doing wrong. Then he is in the parking lot, and spots the guy with his partner. He goes over and tells them to stay the hell out of his territory. You can see the pleasure that he gets out of exerting that power. Six months before, he was nothing but a chemistry teacher, and now he's this person of almost mythic proportions. And he can't get enough of it.
I could go on and on about the show. Netflix it, rent it, whatever you have to do, but watch it. It's that good.
However, I don't want to make this blog ENTIRELY about the show. Rather, I just want to talk about the nature of good and evil a bit. The two scenes that have popped into my head are the Empire Strikes Back "You don't know the POWER of the Dark Side", and the scene in the bar in Se7en, where Morgan Freeman is telling Brad Pitt "Of course it's easier to steal what you need, rather than to earn it..." Evil is easier, because you have less to answer for. Being good requires a lot more work. This is true on all levels, not just the grandiose. It's easier to sit on the couch eating Ben and Jerry's than it is to eat a salad and go to the gym. It's easier to let things pile up on your desk than it is to actually pay bills, file the paperwork, and keep on top of things. It's definitely easier to ignore the people in your life who need time, effort, help, love, compassion, until such time as YOU need those things, or have something else to gain by devoting time to them.
I see the tendrils of this topic spreading into so many different areas. It is almost overwhelming to think about when you step back and look at the bigger picture here. It touches on the overly litigious nature of our society in the past 30-40 years. It certainly impacts the fact that our apathy in general, and especially in the educational system, have crippled us on an international scale. It explains how we have allowed ourselves to become so depressed as a societal whole that we take more Prozac, Paxil and Xanax in this country in a month than the rest of the world combined takes in a year. Even the US Army, the last bastion of truth, justice and the American way, this week came out with changes to their boot camp training, adjusting for "softer" kids, raised on video games.
Too many of us choose the easy path now. Too many people refuse to put forth the effort for something more. It scares me, not because I think it affects me, but because I don't see it changing in my lifetime. I don't know how it will. We reached the tipping point somewhere in the last 20 years, and I don't think we can ever get it back. For me personally, it's actually a good thing. I'm smarter and work harder than the average person, so I will be more in demand in this new world order. Furthermore, I don't have kids, so I don't have to worry about the declining state of affairs that my children will have to contend with.
I do, however, care about my world. I care about the future for my nieces and nephew, and for the children of my friends. I care about society in general. As I've said before, for the most part, I'm a socialist, in the truest sense of the word. I care about society as a whole, and want to see it bettered for all.
I remember a saying I used to have when I tried to describe what went wrong in one of my previous relationships. I said that I spent the past year digging in the dirt, filling sandbags to keep the dam from breaking, only to look up at the end of that time and see that I was the only one with a shovel. Sometimes I feel that way about things now. Obviously I'm not the only one with a shovel in the world. But I do feel outnumbered. I do feel as though there are far more people sitting back in their Barcaloungers with a bag of Funyuns, waiting for the show that TV guide promises will be the best representation of the Apocalypse yet.
I will not give up the fight, though. I will continue to bring joy and happiness to those around me. I will continue to work hard, play hard, live hard. As is printed on one of my favorite T-shirts: "I will not tiptoe through life, only to arrive safely at death".
We all have a choice, every day. It's always the same, every day. We can choose to do good, to live well, to help those around us. Or we can choose the easy path, that well worn road of apathy, indifference, and callousness.
As Robert Frost put it best:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
May we all take that less traveled path. May we all work towards the common good, and the common health and well-being of our peers.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
T-Minus one week...
It's amazing to me that my weeks seem to blow by so fast, even with me not working. I feel like I've got a gazillion things going on every week, and yet, don't have a job. Wonder how overwhelmed I'd be feeling right about now if I DID have a job.
One week until our first game in baseball, and I'm now officially worried about the season. I have a handful of kids who absolutely will not get touched if they can throw strikes. Two kids who throw so hard that only the best hitters on each team even have a shot, and two kids who throw balls with so much movement on them that it looks like watching old footage of Greg Maddux. Unfortunately, because no one is going to be hitting them, they'll be forced to throw at least three strikes to each batter, and that seems like it is going to be an issue. I've never coached a pitching staff that was this wild, and I have a feeling we're in for a long season. NOTHING in baseball is worse than watching batter after batter draw a walk. Ugh.
Mixed bag in poker last week. Cashed for the 8th week in a row at my house, but then completely bombed at AIPCO. Couldn't get anything going there all night, and was rarely over my starting stack. Also a mixed bag at the final table. Only two of my Tuesday night crew made the final table, but we did end up with those two taking 1st and 3rd. Still, overall it was a rather weak showing for myself and my crew.
Saw an interesting story on "hyper awareness", and want to look into it. It is something that can be trained, and I think it would help my poker game immensely.
Had a great time at a Persian New Year/Spring Equinox party this weekend. I made a bunch of Persian themed cheesecakes for it, and some of them turned out really well. I think the almond cheesecake that I made is the best cheesecake I've ever made. Four different almond forms in it. Fresh almonds, almond paste, almond extract and Amaretto. Was very, very yummy. Also did a rosewater one that was knock your socks off good. The other 6 were good, not spectacular.
Breaking Bad season three started this past weekend. If you haven't been watching it, you should be. I'll be blogging later this week about a topic that I got from the show, but it is really just amazing writing. And Bryan Cranston can portray the widest range of emotion in one scene that I've ever seen from anyone. The "holy crap" moment near the end of season two is probably the only scene in history to win someone an Emmy when he said almost no dialogue.
Have the first of our sub-satellites to our WSOP tournament coming up this weekend. I'm hoping to win, and then sell my seat, which would give me a nice chunk of money. I would love to play in our $1K tourney again, but I don't see much of a point, since I probably couldn't go down to Vegas for the WSOP this year anyway.
Well, assuming that the TSA ever gets off their ass and moves me on to the next step in the process. Damn, even after clearing up the computer snafu on their end last week, still no movement. I'll put in another call to my mom's friend to hopefully kick someone in the ass yet AGAIN. Ah, don't you just love government bureaucracy.
Speaking of which, yes, I'm very glad that healthcare reform passed. I'm with Dennis Kucinich on this one, it doesn't go NEARLY far enough, but at least it is a start. I also heard a great line as a rebuttal to the people that are outraged, OUTRAGED at this SOCIALIZED health care: We already have socialized police, fire and education, and no one is complaining about that. So then one of my particularly dim acquaintances comes back with "Yeah, but those are UNIVERSAL services, available to everyone, and this health care won't be." Yes, I know folks. These people not only vote, but they breed. Suffice it to say that I tried to point out the fact that you can't bitch about universal health care being socialist policy, and then when confronted with other socialized government programs, defend them as being universal. It was, unfortunately rather like trying to convince my old college neighbor that you couldn't solve the financial crisis by printing more money. No matter how much you tried to explain inflation and devaluation to her, she just kept saying "But they COULD!" Stupid is as stupid does, Forrest.
I am one of the 40% of the country who quit caring about March Madness as soon as Faroukistanisdaynidad made his 83rd three pointer of the game against Kansas. Geez, guys, he's the only person on the team that knows how to shoot, do you think maybe you want to cover him? It's not like he's Steve Kerr, he doesn't have Jordan kicking it out to him. Oh well, good job, Northern Iowa, you just sank the bracket of almost half the country. Bitter, table for one...
I really hope we're not getting all this good weather right up until baseball season starts, and then have our first 10 games rained out.
Okay, I think that's about all of my news for the week. Wish me luck for tomorrow night when I go for 9 cashes in a row here.
Thank you all for being a part of my life.
One week until our first game in baseball, and I'm now officially worried about the season. I have a handful of kids who absolutely will not get touched if they can throw strikes. Two kids who throw so hard that only the best hitters on each team even have a shot, and two kids who throw balls with so much movement on them that it looks like watching old footage of Greg Maddux. Unfortunately, because no one is going to be hitting them, they'll be forced to throw at least three strikes to each batter, and that seems like it is going to be an issue. I've never coached a pitching staff that was this wild, and I have a feeling we're in for a long season. NOTHING in baseball is worse than watching batter after batter draw a walk. Ugh.
Mixed bag in poker last week. Cashed for the 8th week in a row at my house, but then completely bombed at AIPCO. Couldn't get anything going there all night, and was rarely over my starting stack. Also a mixed bag at the final table. Only two of my Tuesday night crew made the final table, but we did end up with those two taking 1st and 3rd. Still, overall it was a rather weak showing for myself and my crew.
Saw an interesting story on "hyper awareness", and want to look into it. It is something that can be trained, and I think it would help my poker game immensely.
Had a great time at a Persian New Year/Spring Equinox party this weekend. I made a bunch of Persian themed cheesecakes for it, and some of them turned out really well. I think the almond cheesecake that I made is the best cheesecake I've ever made. Four different almond forms in it. Fresh almonds, almond paste, almond extract and Amaretto. Was very, very yummy. Also did a rosewater one that was knock your socks off good. The other 6 were good, not spectacular.
Breaking Bad season three started this past weekend. If you haven't been watching it, you should be. I'll be blogging later this week about a topic that I got from the show, but it is really just amazing writing. And Bryan Cranston can portray the widest range of emotion in one scene that I've ever seen from anyone. The "holy crap" moment near the end of season two is probably the only scene in history to win someone an Emmy when he said almost no dialogue.
Have the first of our sub-satellites to our WSOP tournament coming up this weekend. I'm hoping to win, and then sell my seat, which would give me a nice chunk of money. I would love to play in our $1K tourney again, but I don't see much of a point, since I probably couldn't go down to Vegas for the WSOP this year anyway.
Well, assuming that the TSA ever gets off their ass and moves me on to the next step in the process. Damn, even after clearing up the computer snafu on their end last week, still no movement. I'll put in another call to my mom's friend to hopefully kick someone in the ass yet AGAIN. Ah, don't you just love government bureaucracy.
Speaking of which, yes, I'm very glad that healthcare reform passed. I'm with Dennis Kucinich on this one, it doesn't go NEARLY far enough, but at least it is a start. I also heard a great line as a rebuttal to the people that are outraged, OUTRAGED at this SOCIALIZED health care: We already have socialized police, fire and education, and no one is complaining about that. So then one of my particularly dim acquaintances comes back with "Yeah, but those are UNIVERSAL services, available to everyone, and this health care won't be." Yes, I know folks. These people not only vote, but they breed. Suffice it to say that I tried to point out the fact that you can't bitch about universal health care being socialist policy, and then when confronted with other socialized government programs, defend them as being universal. It was, unfortunately rather like trying to convince my old college neighbor that you couldn't solve the financial crisis by printing more money. No matter how much you tried to explain inflation and devaluation to her, she just kept saying "But they COULD!" Stupid is as stupid does, Forrest.
I am one of the 40% of the country who quit caring about March Madness as soon as Faroukistanisdaynidad made his 83rd three pointer of the game against Kansas. Geez, guys, he's the only person on the team that knows how to shoot, do you think maybe you want to cover him? It's not like he's Steve Kerr, he doesn't have Jordan kicking it out to him. Oh well, good job, Northern Iowa, you just sank the bracket of almost half the country. Bitter, table for one...
I really hope we're not getting all this good weather right up until baseball season starts, and then have our first 10 games rained out.
Okay, I think that's about all of my news for the week. Wish me luck for tomorrow night when I go for 9 cashes in a row here.
Thank you all for being a part of my life.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Overcoming Schadenfreude
When I was younger, I was not a good person. I know that most of you who know me would say that I have always been a good guy, but in reality, I wasn’t. I always seemed to take joy in the misfortune of others. The Germans call it Schadenfreude, and it was something that I experienced all too often. I do think that I am a pretty good guy, and even then, I tried to do what was best for my family and friends. But for many years, there was that little tickle that gave me a smile inside when someone else failed. This is not easy for me to admit, especially in an open forum like this. It is, however, necessary for my continued growth. Once again, just do it.
Over the past few years, I have truly tried to become a better person. I thank Virginia and Terry for that. They are just about the most decent human beings I have ever known, and they taught me that it truly is okay to rejoice in the success and accomplishments of others. It is, however, a hard habit to break. Even after all this time, I struggle with it. I write it off as Karma, or try to justify it in some other way.
The truth is, Schadenfreude is truly the result of our own low self-esteem. When we see someone who is better looking, smarter, funnier, etc., than we are, it makes us feel better about ourselves if we see them fail. It is natural, but not right. There are numerous studies showing the social comparison theory behind Schadenfreude. When other people fail, we look better to ourselves.
I have, for the most part, overcome this for the positive people in my life. Anyone who I consider a friend, I take joy in their success without reveling in the failures of the others involved. Poker has helped with this immensely. I also find it easy to overcome when dealing with strangers, or people that I have had little to no interaction with. Where I find it difficult is in overcoming Schadenfreude when it comes to the people in my life who have wronged me. Or in the rare cases of people who I don’t like, or who don’t like me. This is where I struggle, but I do see hope at least, because I see the conflict within myself.
Obviously, those of you reading this know my history over the past year, and what I went through with Becca. I got news the other night that she hadn’t just put on 70 pounds, but more like 100+ pounds, in only six months since leaving me for another guy. I must admit that in the moment, all I wanted was for her to suffer. I took a perverse amount of pleasure in knowing that she was miserable. But this is not the person that I want to be. I slept extremely poorly that night, and I realized after waking, that the reason I slept so poorly was the conflict in my head over this news.
I have written before, on many occasions, that I want what is best for Becca. I truly do. I don’t think she’s happy right now, and I hope that she somehow finds that. I do believe that everyone deserves happiness; a deep abiding happiness to last throughout our lives. I don’t want to become a vengeance-based personality. That is what happens when you apply Schadenfreude to those who have wronged you. You become vengeance, you embrace the negative, and that fills you up.
I want to embrace the positive. I want to be empathy, not vengeance. There are entire cultures that are based upon the eye-for-an-eye mentality. They treat vengeance as honor, and anything less as dishonor. I don’t begrudge them that, but I don’t want to live that way. I want to be like Gandhi, not Tony Soprano. It is a far more difficult path to endure, but a much easier one to live with. There is no recognition for this, no glory or praise. It is simply knowing within yourself that you have done the right thing.
This becomes harder all the time. Not just for me, but for the world as a whole. Because life is harder right now than it has been in the past. The middle class, the core of the “decent, hard-working [insert Nationality here]”, is disappearing now. The more people in the world that are struggling, the more poor, the more disenfranchised people that we have in the world, the more people we will have feeling bad about themselves. And the more people feel bad about themselves, the more that they are going to be smiling at the misfortune of others.
I will close with one of my favorite quotes. Actually more like a small story. You see it on inspirational posters, and such, and it has always touched me:
A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and spent much of his time exploring the seashore. One day he learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand. The day of the tide he went down to the beach and began picking up stranded starfish and tossing them back into the sea. An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what he was doing. "I'm saving the starfish," the boy proudly declared. When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish, he shook his head and said "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, but if you look down the beach one way, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look down the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference." The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up a starfish, tossed it out into the ocean and said, "I sure make a difference for that one."
I know that so many things that I blog about seem as though they are these idealistic notions of how the world should be. That I want to find Thomas More’s Utopia and move us all there. I don’t believe in fantasy, nor do I think that one man can change very much in the world. But I do believe that every man or woman can change much in their world.
Every one of you makes my world a better place. Thank you for that. I will continue to try and return the favor.
Over the past few years, I have truly tried to become a better person. I thank Virginia and Terry for that. They are just about the most decent human beings I have ever known, and they taught me that it truly is okay to rejoice in the success and accomplishments of others. It is, however, a hard habit to break. Even after all this time, I struggle with it. I write it off as Karma, or try to justify it in some other way.
The truth is, Schadenfreude is truly the result of our own low self-esteem. When we see someone who is better looking, smarter, funnier, etc., than we are, it makes us feel better about ourselves if we see them fail. It is natural, but not right. There are numerous studies showing the social comparison theory behind Schadenfreude. When other people fail, we look better to ourselves.
I have, for the most part, overcome this for the positive people in my life. Anyone who I consider a friend, I take joy in their success without reveling in the failures of the others involved. Poker has helped with this immensely. I also find it easy to overcome when dealing with strangers, or people that I have had little to no interaction with. Where I find it difficult is in overcoming Schadenfreude when it comes to the people in my life who have wronged me. Or in the rare cases of people who I don’t like, or who don’t like me. This is where I struggle, but I do see hope at least, because I see the conflict within myself.
Obviously, those of you reading this know my history over the past year, and what I went through with Becca. I got news the other night that she hadn’t just put on 70 pounds, but more like 100+ pounds, in only six months since leaving me for another guy. I must admit that in the moment, all I wanted was for her to suffer. I took a perverse amount of pleasure in knowing that she was miserable. But this is not the person that I want to be. I slept extremely poorly that night, and I realized after waking, that the reason I slept so poorly was the conflict in my head over this news.
I have written before, on many occasions, that I want what is best for Becca. I truly do. I don’t think she’s happy right now, and I hope that she somehow finds that. I do believe that everyone deserves happiness; a deep abiding happiness to last throughout our lives. I don’t want to become a vengeance-based personality. That is what happens when you apply Schadenfreude to those who have wronged you. You become vengeance, you embrace the negative, and that fills you up.
I want to embrace the positive. I want to be empathy, not vengeance. There are entire cultures that are based upon the eye-for-an-eye mentality. They treat vengeance as honor, and anything less as dishonor. I don’t begrudge them that, but I don’t want to live that way. I want to be like Gandhi, not Tony Soprano. It is a far more difficult path to endure, but a much easier one to live with. There is no recognition for this, no glory or praise. It is simply knowing within yourself that you have done the right thing.
This becomes harder all the time. Not just for me, but for the world as a whole. Because life is harder right now than it has been in the past. The middle class, the core of the “decent, hard-working [insert Nationality here]”, is disappearing now. The more people in the world that are struggling, the more poor, the more disenfranchised people that we have in the world, the more people we will have feeling bad about themselves. And the more people feel bad about themselves, the more that they are going to be smiling at the misfortune of others.
I will close with one of my favorite quotes. Actually more like a small story. You see it on inspirational posters, and such, and it has always touched me:
A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and spent much of his time exploring the seashore. One day he learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand. The day of the tide he went down to the beach and began picking up stranded starfish and tossing them back into the sea. An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what he was doing. "I'm saving the starfish," the boy proudly declared. When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish, he shook his head and said "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, but if you look down the beach one way, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look down the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference." The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up a starfish, tossed it out into the ocean and said, "I sure make a difference for that one."
I know that so many things that I blog about seem as though they are these idealistic notions of how the world should be. That I want to find Thomas More’s Utopia and move us all there. I don’t believe in fantasy, nor do I think that one man can change very much in the world. But I do believe that every man or woman can change much in their world.
Every one of you makes my world a better place. Thank you for that. I will continue to try and return the favor.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
A Week Without Sunshine is Like... Night.
Well, once again, I’m a day late on my weekly recap. I was just feeling uber-lazy over the weekend, and didn’t get around to writing. This was the last weekend until June that I don’t have either poker or baseball as a commitment. So I did pretty much nothing all weekend. Watched TV, played on the internet, sat in the hot tub, blew bubbles, anything at all that would qualify as lazy-day fun, I did it. Because now I don’t get another one of those days for a few months. Hopefully it won’t put too much of a crimp in my blogging, which I have come to enjoy. Especially now that I’ve opened it up somewhat to friends and family. Hello readers. Hopefully you’re not bored of me yet.
Baseball is slowly, frustratingly, achingly, coming along at a snail’s pace. Pitchers are starting to look fairly good, and I think we will throw enough strikes to actually get things in play. Unfortunately, our defense is so bad that it’s a coin flip on whether or not they will field a grounder, and another coin flip as to whether or not they’ll actually make the throw. For those of you bad at math, that means that only about 1 in 4 ground balls will turn into outs. And for those of you bad at baseball math, that means we’re going to lose a LOT more than we will win. Well, either that, or we’ll have to score enough runs to win 9-8 games. It reminds me of the scouting report years ago for my childhood friend Gabe Alvarez, who went on to be the starting third baseman for the Detroit Tigers for a couple of years. “Alvarez can still hit the leather off of the ball, but it’s the giant gaping hole in his glove that has the team concerned.” Yup, that’s our team in a nutshell.
Made cheesecakes for poker last week. Three new flavors. Mandarin Orange was fucking amazing. Did a Tart Cherry that will be better the next time I make it. Not quite cherry enough. Also did a Raspberry one for a birthday gift. Looked awesome, batter tasted awesome, and the review from the birthday girl was great. Will have to make one for myself soon, just to try it out. Might be going to a Persian New Year celebration this Saturday if I’m not completely wiped out from AIPCO Friday night. If I do, I’m doing a whole assortment of Persian themed cheesecakes for that.
AIPCO will hopefully go better for me this month than it did last month. I’m frustrated with my play right now, despite running my cash streak up to 7 weeks in a row at “The Rob”. Been very volatile online, and am just not playing my best. Especially at Absolute, where the play is so bad that I should be crushing it. But I think it is dragging my play down along with it. I’m like the Roberto Duran of poker, I play to the level of my opponents, and it is irking me a bit. I am capable of much, much more, and I need to get myself focused and hungry again. Too many lazy plays.
Have been lazy in my workout regimen lately as well. Baseball always has that effect, as I feel wiped out from that too many days. No excuses though, and will get back to a regular pace this week. Just do it.
Yes, being the giant fan-boy that I am, I had to Netflix the original Tron and watch it again. Still love it, even though the effects are pretty bad to look at now.
Finally found out that it has been yet another computer glitch that has been keeping me from getting further in the process in the TSA gig. I had accepted the conditional offer of employment, and my dashboard in their system showed that I had accepted it. However, on their end, it didn’t show me as having accepted. So now I’m in their system, and hopefully will start moving through the process again soon.
Breaking Bad comes back on next Sunday for those of you interested. Great show. Netflix the first two seasons if you haven’t watched it. One of the top 2 or 3 shows on TV right now. Bryan Cranston should win the Emmy every year. Hugh Laurie, Jon Hamm, and Michael C. Hall are great, but not even on the same level.
Have realized that I need to start carrying around a pad and paper, so that I can remember all the things that I want to put in my weekly stuff. Just little random notes about my week.
Nothing else Earth-shattering that I can think of for now. Hope to get a regular blog or two done this week for you.
I love you all. Thank you for enriching my life with your presence.
Baseball is slowly, frustratingly, achingly, coming along at a snail’s pace. Pitchers are starting to look fairly good, and I think we will throw enough strikes to actually get things in play. Unfortunately, our defense is so bad that it’s a coin flip on whether or not they will field a grounder, and another coin flip as to whether or not they’ll actually make the throw. For those of you bad at math, that means that only about 1 in 4 ground balls will turn into outs. And for those of you bad at baseball math, that means we’re going to lose a LOT more than we will win. Well, either that, or we’ll have to score enough runs to win 9-8 games. It reminds me of the scouting report years ago for my childhood friend Gabe Alvarez, who went on to be the starting third baseman for the Detroit Tigers for a couple of years. “Alvarez can still hit the leather off of the ball, but it’s the giant gaping hole in his glove that has the team concerned.” Yup, that’s our team in a nutshell.
Made cheesecakes for poker last week. Three new flavors. Mandarin Orange was fucking amazing. Did a Tart Cherry that will be better the next time I make it. Not quite cherry enough. Also did a Raspberry one for a birthday gift. Looked awesome, batter tasted awesome, and the review from the birthday girl was great. Will have to make one for myself soon, just to try it out. Might be going to a Persian New Year celebration this Saturday if I’m not completely wiped out from AIPCO Friday night. If I do, I’m doing a whole assortment of Persian themed cheesecakes for that.
AIPCO will hopefully go better for me this month than it did last month. I’m frustrated with my play right now, despite running my cash streak up to 7 weeks in a row at “The Rob”. Been very volatile online, and am just not playing my best. Especially at Absolute, where the play is so bad that I should be crushing it. But I think it is dragging my play down along with it. I’m like the Roberto Duran of poker, I play to the level of my opponents, and it is irking me a bit. I am capable of much, much more, and I need to get myself focused and hungry again. Too many lazy plays.
Have been lazy in my workout regimen lately as well. Baseball always has that effect, as I feel wiped out from that too many days. No excuses though, and will get back to a regular pace this week. Just do it.
Yes, being the giant fan-boy that I am, I had to Netflix the original Tron and watch it again. Still love it, even though the effects are pretty bad to look at now.
Finally found out that it has been yet another computer glitch that has been keeping me from getting further in the process in the TSA gig. I had accepted the conditional offer of employment, and my dashboard in their system showed that I had accepted it. However, on their end, it didn’t show me as having accepted. So now I’m in their system, and hopefully will start moving through the process again soon.
Breaking Bad comes back on next Sunday for those of you interested. Great show. Netflix the first two seasons if you haven’t watched it. One of the top 2 or 3 shows on TV right now. Bryan Cranston should win the Emmy every year. Hugh Laurie, Jon Hamm, and Michael C. Hall are great, but not even on the same level.
Have realized that I need to start carrying around a pad and paper, so that I can remember all the things that I want to put in my weekly stuff. Just little random notes about my week.
Nothing else Earth-shattering that I can think of for now. Hope to get a regular blog or two done this week for you.
I love you all. Thank you for enriching my life with your presence.
Friday, March 12, 2010
It's Time to Rise Above
“If ye fulfill the Royal Law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” – James 2:8
Y’all don’t expect an agnostic like me to know the Bible, do you? Well, I not only know it, but seem to do a better job of living it than most. I may not believe in what it has to say about the afterlife, but I do think it does have a few points in it that are worthy of listening to. Throw out Leviticus and a few other things, and you’re on the right track. Now, if only we could actually get the people who rail against all the liberal atrocities being committed in this country to actually live by it as well.
It is a sad story coming out of Fulton, Mississippi, where the school board has the audacity to blame Constance McMillen for cancelling the prom. She didn’t cancel it you idiots, your bigotry and intolerance cancelled it. How dare you try to put this on her. In my eyes, the only thing that this girl did wrong was that she asked for permission to bring a girl as her date. Had it been my daughter, I would have told her to just show up in her tux, with her girlfriend on her arm.
The school board said that it was cancelling the prom "due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events". But the only reason that there were distractions caused were because of their actions. Do you think this girl wanted anything more than to simply have the opportunity to attend her Senior prom like every other high school student does? She wasn’t looking to become a celebrity. She wasn’t looking to make national headlines. She wanted to take her girlfriend to the prom. And rather than showing a little tolerance, and some common decency, the school board cancelled the prom, and blames this teenage girl. They should be ashamed of themselves.
This really just scratches the surface of a far greater problem in this country. Why all the hatred? Why the divisiveness? Why do so many people feel as though they have this obligation to tell everyone else how to live their lives? Why are so many people unwilling to love their neighbor?
This country was founded on the principal that “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” So, where’s the equality? Where is the pursuit of happiness? Doesn’t apply if you’re gay? As was formerly the case if you were a woman? Or if you were black? Can you even imagine the fallout if this story out of rural Mississippi was happening because it was a black boy wanting to bring his white girlfriend to prom? Oh, wait, it’s only been about 40 or 50 years since that was the case. But somehow THIS discrimination isn’t as bad? It’s still discrimination based on fear, hatred, and an underlying lack of knowledge.
I wonder exactly what they are afraid of? That homosexuality is contagious, and that if they let these two girls into the prom, that they’ll somehow pass it on to the other kids? Pretty soon, there will be a giant epidemic of gay and lesbianism ravaging the school district? Seriously, where is the harm? Who do they think they are protecting? The kids? If this girl is openly a lesbian (which clearly she is if she’s wanting to come to prom with her girlfriend), then everyone at the school ALREADY KNOWS! It’s not going to be a shock, or a distraction. The narrow minded will snicker or laugh, as they probably do to her every day in the halls. The rest of the kids won’t care. And the next day, everyone will have a great memory of their prom.
It is so sad that in this day and age, when we are capable of so much, that we spend our time worrying about such petty and trifling things. I wish that I had never heard the name Constance McMillen. I wish that I lived in a world where you could just live your life as you saw fit, and didn’t have anyone telling you why you couldn’t.
Love is the single greatest force in the universe. It is the only thing that can overcome hatred. Like fire and water, they cancel each other out. There is too much hate in the world right now. Too much divisiveness. Too much anger. We need to embrace love wherever it is, because it makes the world a better place.
Love is losing the battle in the world, folks. Good is losing. Light is being swallowed by darkness, and that darkness is our own intolerance. We cannot continue on the path that we are on. It’s time to rise above, and that starts with acceptance. It starts with tolerance. It starts by looking within ourselves and purging whatever hatred lies there.
We’re not going to get there in time to save the girl’s prom. Hell, we might not get there in my lifetime. But I’m not going to let that stop me from trying.
Y’all don’t expect an agnostic like me to know the Bible, do you? Well, I not only know it, but seem to do a better job of living it than most. I may not believe in what it has to say about the afterlife, but I do think it does have a few points in it that are worthy of listening to. Throw out Leviticus and a few other things, and you’re on the right track. Now, if only we could actually get the people who rail against all the liberal atrocities being committed in this country to actually live by it as well.
It is a sad story coming out of Fulton, Mississippi, where the school board has the audacity to blame Constance McMillen for cancelling the prom. She didn’t cancel it you idiots, your bigotry and intolerance cancelled it. How dare you try to put this on her. In my eyes, the only thing that this girl did wrong was that she asked for permission to bring a girl as her date. Had it been my daughter, I would have told her to just show up in her tux, with her girlfriend on her arm.
The school board said that it was cancelling the prom "due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events". But the only reason that there were distractions caused were because of their actions. Do you think this girl wanted anything more than to simply have the opportunity to attend her Senior prom like every other high school student does? She wasn’t looking to become a celebrity. She wasn’t looking to make national headlines. She wanted to take her girlfriend to the prom. And rather than showing a little tolerance, and some common decency, the school board cancelled the prom, and blames this teenage girl. They should be ashamed of themselves.
This really just scratches the surface of a far greater problem in this country. Why all the hatred? Why the divisiveness? Why do so many people feel as though they have this obligation to tell everyone else how to live their lives? Why are so many people unwilling to love their neighbor?
This country was founded on the principal that “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” So, where’s the equality? Where is the pursuit of happiness? Doesn’t apply if you’re gay? As was formerly the case if you were a woman? Or if you were black? Can you even imagine the fallout if this story out of rural Mississippi was happening because it was a black boy wanting to bring his white girlfriend to prom? Oh, wait, it’s only been about 40 or 50 years since that was the case. But somehow THIS discrimination isn’t as bad? It’s still discrimination based on fear, hatred, and an underlying lack of knowledge.
I wonder exactly what they are afraid of? That homosexuality is contagious, and that if they let these two girls into the prom, that they’ll somehow pass it on to the other kids? Pretty soon, there will be a giant epidemic of gay and lesbianism ravaging the school district? Seriously, where is the harm? Who do they think they are protecting? The kids? If this girl is openly a lesbian (which clearly she is if she’s wanting to come to prom with her girlfriend), then everyone at the school ALREADY KNOWS! It’s not going to be a shock, or a distraction. The narrow minded will snicker or laugh, as they probably do to her every day in the halls. The rest of the kids won’t care. And the next day, everyone will have a great memory of their prom.
It is so sad that in this day and age, when we are capable of so much, that we spend our time worrying about such petty and trifling things. I wish that I had never heard the name Constance McMillen. I wish that I lived in a world where you could just live your life as you saw fit, and didn’t have anyone telling you why you couldn’t.
Love is the single greatest force in the universe. It is the only thing that can overcome hatred. Like fire and water, they cancel each other out. There is too much hate in the world right now. Too much divisiveness. Too much anger. We need to embrace love wherever it is, because it makes the world a better place.
Love is losing the battle in the world, folks. Good is losing. Light is being swallowed by darkness, and that darkness is our own intolerance. We cannot continue on the path that we are on. It’s time to rise above, and that starts with acceptance. It starts with tolerance. It starts by looking within ourselves and purging whatever hatred lies there.
We’re not going to get there in time to save the girl’s prom. Hell, we might not get there in my lifetime. But I’m not going to let that stop me from trying.
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