The Unbreakable Spirit

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."--Marianne Williamson (not Nelson Mandela as the web would have you believe)

I was on a bit of a political train of thought this week. Partially from my last post, partially from watching Bill Maher last night, partially from just some random collection of thoughts that led me down that path. I'll only stay on it for a moment, simply to allow you to follow me on the journey that my own thoughts took. Bill Maher had one of my lifelong crushes on this week, Arianna Huffington. She made a great point about Republicans, and I will (just to show that I'm not completely biased) give a rebuttal about Democrats. (Trust me, stick with me, this really is going to be a positive blog). Huffington's assertion was that Republicans have gone so far off course that they don't believe in anything anymore. Their entire policy isn't defined by what they want, but rather, what they don't want the Democrats to do. If Obama says "X, Y and Z are great, we should pursue them", then rather than saying, "No, A, B, and C are great, we should pursue them instead", all the Republicans know how to do anymore is say, "X, Y and Z are terrible, and anyone who thinks they're great is an idiot." There is no creation anymore, only destruction.

The problem is that Democrats have jumped the track as well. I'm a Democrat because I care about society as a whole, and don't have a whole lot of sympathy for the Gordon Gecko "Greed is Good" mantra. I'm a borderline socialist, and don't think that's a bad thing. The problem as I see it in the Democratic party is that, in politics, you cannot be all things to all people. Obama's problem isn't that he has the wrong ideas, it's that he's trying to take the most disparate ideologies, and hopes to find common ground. It would have worked great if this was 1920, or 1940. Unfortunately, in today's political climate, that just doesn't work. You can't make everyone happy, and eventually you have to stand up and find your own voice, and be the leader that you are supposed to be.

This train of thought led me on to other things, most specifically, relationships. I have many friends who had a rough year when it came to relationships. Obviously, I didn't have the greatest one myself. I am just as guilty of the following sins as anyone, and hopefully will learn from them moving forward. The biggest one committed was losing our own hopes and dreams to the needs of our partners. It is natural, and even noble, to want to make your partner happy. I go above and beyond, and don't see anything wrong with that. I think it is how everyone should be, and how everyone should approach the person that they love. If you're not willing to go the extra mile, why are you with them?

The problem is that many of us have a very hard time striking the right balance. Either we don't do enough for our partner, or we lose ourselves in the bargain. Time and again, I see friends who are making excuses about why they are the ones making the sacrifice, over and over and over again. Eventually, you begin to lose sight of who you really are. Your dreams, your wants, your desires, are all cast aside in the name of making the people in your life happy.

Some people do this because it is easier. Standing up for yourself is hard. Defining your role in a relationship is hard. Making sure you're not a doormat, while also doing your best to not walk all over your partner sometimes seems like it is impossible. So laying down seems easier. Just give in this one time, and worry about the bigger things. Then, when the bigger things come along, it's easier to just give in this time, and wait for the REALLY big things. The problem is that once those REALLY big things come along, the pattern has already been put into place. The wall is now too big to scale, and you're stuck giving in yet again. So is it really easier in the long run?

We can have it all. Maybe not in politics, but definitely in life, love, and relationships. The only thing keeping us down is ourselves. We all deserve more, we all deserve the entire package. We just have to be willing to take it. We have to own ourselves, know ourselves, and stand up for ourselves. It really isn't that hard. Respect yourself, and no one will ever be able to take that away from you. Respect others, and they will begin to find it within themselves.

I have said before that I truly believe that love is the most powerful force in the universe. Not just romantic love, which is wonderful but limited in scope. No, love for yourself. Love for your common man. Love for the people that you choose to share your life with. You get what you give.

We have the power to make not only our lives, but the lives of everyone around us better. We can embrace that path, or we can cower from it. Is your fear that you will fail? Or is your fear that you will succeed? Love yourself. Respect yourself. Own yourself. Once you've learned how to do those things, you will no longer be downtrodden, no matter your lot in life. You will be the unbreakable spirit, and the world will be a better place for having you in it.