What I learned, What I'm thankful for, and What I'd like to forget about 2012

Well, I’m a little late this year, but if I’m listening to Rush’s Different Stages Live, then I know it must be time to sit down and write my annual blog of the year that has come and gone.   2012, wow, you just kept throwing more shit my way all the way to the end.   But I’m still here, which is more than some can say.   This will be a sadder and more reserved recap than the past few have been, and you will understand that within the first few paragraphs.   I hope to at least get a few laughs in there as well, but it is harder this year.   Without further ado, here is What I learned, What I’m thankful for, and What I’d like to forget about 2012.

As always, I will start with the fact that I’m thankful to have friends that actually want to sit down and read this.   I’m flattered beyond words at the kindness that you show me, and the always wonderful comments that are posted.   I love all of you so much, you make my life worth living, and give me the strength, hope, laughter, friendship and love that I need to survive.   Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I will need you more in 2013 than ever before.  

Why?   Because the first thing I’d like to forget is the fact that my mom was diagnosed with stage-4 pancreatic cancer in December.   When I write this blog next year, there is little to no chance that she will still be with us.   I am devastated beyond words by this, and am really only functioning because I’ve gone into a state somewhere between denial and total stasis.   But eventually I’ll have to deal with it, and that is when I will need all of you.   I’d like to thank you all in advance for that.  

The other major thing that I’d like to forget is that I can no longer start this annual column the same way that I have started it every year since its inception.   I would like to forget that I can no longer say that Chance made it through another year.   She lost her long struggle back in April.   I am still crushed by her passing.   I still haven’t been able to bring myself to say my final goodbye to her, and am choked up merely thinking of her.  

I am thankful to have had 41 years with my mom in my life, and that I had 17 years with Chance.   No matter what else, I will cherish the memories.  

I’d like to forget that I hardly wrote anything at all in 2012.   My blog, letters and cards, nothing.   If it wasn’t for my monthly poker column, I wouldn’t have written a damn thing until my Dreaded Christmas Letter.  

I learned that motivation is very difficult to come by.   I’d like to forget that I learned that.  

I am thankful for the other 6 animals making it through the year, and filling my days and nights with so many happy memories.  

I am thankful to have had the opportunity to get back into coaching this year, after a year off.   I’ll have a couple of years off most likely before getting back into it for a long stretch when the son of the other person I coach with gets old enough to need a pitching coach.  

I’d like to forget that I had one of the most selfish, self-absorbed kids I’ve ever coached this year.   I’ve only coached two kids in 25 years that had more talent.   I’ve coached about 8,000 with better attitude, more work ethic, and more desire than that kid.   What an incredible waste of potential.  

I am thankful to have had the opportunity to coach one of the great performances by any pitcher I’ve ever worked with this year.   No hitter, 12 strikeouts, all but three outs either by strikeout or made by the pitcher.   Absolutely amazing.  

I learned that there are still a few online poker sites taking real money play.   I’d like to forget that they’re based in obscure foreign countries and that I can only play for micro-limits because I don’t trust my money in them anymore. 

I learned that even though I haven’t blogged all year, I still have a worldwide audience.   Biggest growth this year was from the U.K., however Russia still dominates outside of the U.S.   Sorry again, Comrades, I shall write more this year.   I promise. 

I learned that every year I sit down to write this column, and I have no idea what I’m going to say, but the words come.   I need to write more.   It soothes me, it nourishes my mind and soul, and it gives me hope. 

I’d like to forget that 2012 drained more hope from me than any other year outside of the disaster that was 2009.  

I learned that building a business by word of mouth is hard damn work.  

I’m thankful for everyone who helped spread the word on my cheesecake business over the past year. 

I’m extremely thankful for the people who ordered cheesecakes from me in the last year.   If you haven’t, why not?   I’m shipping nationwide now people, get on the bandwagon, and help me pay the mortgage.  

I’m thankful that even though it isn’t much, I do actually have a job now.   Thank you Lane County for taking pity on me and allowing me to work 10 hours a week or so. 

I’m thankful that we didn’t move to Utah, especially with how the year finished up.  

I learned that Sara and I cannot take vacations.   We finally took our first two vacations together this year.   The first one was an overnight to the coast.   We hit a deer and totaled the car before even leaving town.   The second one was to Vegas, and we came home to the news of my mom.   We’re afraid that if we leave the house together again, it’ll burn to the ground.  Separate vacations from here on out. 

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this, but I’m really thankful for Rush.   This CD kicks ass.   If you want a copy, send me your address and I’ll mail you a copy.  

I’m thankful that the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame finally pulled their head out of their ass and elected Rush this year.  

I’d like to forget that it took them about a decade longer than it should have. 

I’m thankful for the art of Vladimir Kush.

Since I won’t ever be able to afford the art of Mr. Kush, I’m thankful for Sara getting me a calendar of his artwork this year.

Once again, I’m thankful for Paulo Coehlo.  

I’m so incredibly thankful for the year I had in poker.   11 of 12 final tables at AIPCO, and another Player of the Year award.   37 of 50 cashes at my Tuesday night game, and a runaway win in the Player of the Year award here.  

I learned that my success in poker must be inversely proportional to all the crap that fills my year.   The worse my year is, the better I do in poker.   Or at least, that’s my theory after the past few years.  

I’d like to forget that I only played golf twice all year.  

I’d like to forget that the reason I did that is because I don’t have money to play golf anymore.   Anyone who wants to buy me a round, I’m fun to play with, and promise at least a few shots a round that make you go “Holy Crap!”   (I’m not guaranteeing whether that’s from it being a memorably great shot, or an incredibly bad one). 

I’d like to forget that after Sara’s victory in 2011, this year the yard fought back and claimed victory for the year.  

I’m thankful that she hasn’t given up, and is looking to reclaim the title in 2013.  

I’m thankful for having had the opportunity to play some Frisbee golf with Dave and Ron this year.   It has been nice having the occasional reunion of the college roommates.  

I learned that the best new flavor of the year in cheesecakes was… Oreo.   Have never had such unanimous praise for a flavor. 

I learned that estate sales can be a really good source of cheap stuff, which when you’re living on little to no income, is a great thing.   $250 filing cabinet?   $12.   Brand new 5-disc DVD player?  $5.  

I learned how to coupon.   Not to the level of those extreme coupon idiots that buy 85 bottles of Tide just because they can get it for free.   But enough that we save 50-60% on average off of our bill.  

I learned that if you put a jar of Planters peanuts in front of me, it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to finish the jar off in about an hour.  

I’d like to forget how many jars of peanuts it took to learn that.  

I am so very thankful to Courtney for our hikes to local waterfalls.  

I learned there are some really amazing waterfalls within an hour of my house.

I’d like to forget the trip to the waterfall in the snow, getting her car stuck, and needing to have mountain man tow us out.   Actually, scratch that, I don’t want to forget.   Too funny for future memories.   I’m thankful for that one.  

I learned that the new high mark for my tiny galley kitchen is 18 courses for 25 people.  

I’m thankful for “smart” TV’s.   We had to replace our TV, which finally crapped out this year, and bought a new VIZIO set.   Amazing.   3D, Netflix built in, Internet built in, Pandora radio built in.   For under $600.   I remember paying almost $400 for a 13” color TV when I was in high school.   If only everything was going down in price as much as electronics are, life would be easy. 

I learned that cats like “forts” as much or more than kids do.   Want to entertain a cat for hours?   Cut off one side of a box and turn it upside down.   I guarantee within 30 seconds, the cat is in there, and isn’t coming out for hours.  

I’d like to forget that Ray Bradbury died last year. 

I’m thankful for the amount of joy Ray Bradbury brought to my life from childhood on.   Some of the most memorable books from my teen years.  

I’m thankful for Skyfall, which might be the best Bond film ever.  

I’d like to forget how hateful our society has become.   In the famous words of someone who used to be funny and now is just scary, “I don’t want to get off on a rant here…”  I purposely keep this blog free of politics, religion and most topics that light a firestorm like the gun control debate that’s going on right now.   I will not break that tradition here, because I love all of you, regardless of how crazy I think many of your ideas are.   If you want me to pick you apart in a debate in some other forum, I accept your challenge.   But here, I simply want to take a moment to yearn for the days when we could truly just agree to disagree, and go on with our lives as friends and colleagues.   I am simply sad when I see how much hatred and vitriol spew forth from everyone now.   Basically, everyone has the opinion that if you don’t agree with me, you’re an idiot.   It’s sad, and I really would like to forget that it has come to this. 

I’m thankful to have so many friends that are positive beacons in my life, and those of others.  

Speaking of the lives of others, I’m thankful to have finally had the opportunity to watch the movie “The Lives of Others”.   Great film, highly recommended.  

I’d like to forget that Michael Clarke Duncan died.   Bummer.

I’d like to forget that Lance Armstrong cheated.   I totally get it, everyone was doing it, you still deserved to win, because everyone was cheating.   I get it.   Really.   But you were so much bigger than the sport, you were a cultural icon and an inspiration to millions.   And no matter what else is said, in the end, you were a fraud.   It doesn’t matter if everyone else around you was a fraud also.   They weren’t inspiring anyone outside of their friends and family.   You had the world looking up to you.   And had you spurned that spotlight, that would still have been fine.   But you embraced it, you told everyone to pile on, and were so indignant when they accused you of anything.   Even your scene in Dodgeball isn’t funny anymore.   Dude.

I am still so thankful for Archer.   Funniest show ever.   Season 4 premiere Thursday the 17^th on FX.   Watch it, I promise you’ll laugh.  

I don’t have many new TV shows that I’m thankful for this year.   I usually have something to recommend to people, but honestly, the only new show I picked up this year is Arrow, and that’s a little fluffy to recommend here.  

I am thankful that Fox was kind enough to give a final half season to Fringe so that they could wrap it up properly.  

Oh, wait, I’m totally thankful for Into the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman.   Really cool science show, and you get to spend an hour listening to Morgan Freeman speak.  

I learned that the death knell for a burger joint here in town is for me to claim it’s the best burger in town.   2011, Off the Hook BBQ, out of business.   2012, Tom & Johnny’s, out of business.   I’m so sorry Little Big Burger, but you’ll be gone by the end of 2013, it’s my curse.  

I’m thankful for having had the opportunity to give out cheesecake samples on the First Friday Art Walk.   Thanks Gwynne and Kelly for giving me that opportunity.  

I’m thankful for the overabundance of people still willing to let me beat the crap out of them at Fetish Nights.   

I learned that Isis is quite possibly the neediest cat ever, but not in an annoying way.   She just really REALLY wants to snuggle, ALL THE TIME.  

I learned that a dog can actually eat a door.   Seriously, a dog can eat a door. 

I’d like to forget that I learned this only because we came home on New Years Eve to find that OUR dogs had eaten one of OUR doors.   Not cool, kids.  

I learned that Bally’s really isn’t all that terrible of a hotel if you need someplace cheap to stay on the strip in Vegas.  

I’m very thankful to own a hot tub.  

I’d like to forget how much said hot tub adds to my already outrageous electric bill every month.  

I’d like to forget that Three Forks Wok is gone.  

I’d like to forget how many of my Groupons I forgot about until they were expired and I lost out on the promotional value.  

I’m thankful for naps.   Truly makes the day so much more productive. 

I’m thankful for some actual competition in Words With Friends and Scrabble.   Thank you Matt Wakefield and Noah Kelley for actually beating me as often as I beat you, and making me a better player in the process.   

I learned that Franklin Pierce can basically be called both the George W. Bush of the democratic party, or the George W. Bush of his time.   Talk about someone who, every single time a major decision needed to be made, made the wrong choice.   Damn.  

I’m thankful that I have friends that allow me to make a reference to a 19^th century president in this blog, and actually keep reading.   You rock, folks.  

I’d like to forget that I’ve gone a couple of years now without buying any art.   I know I don’t have money, but still, it stings.  

I am thankful for another year in which I had no major illness or injury.  

I am thankful for the experience that was Carnevino.   I can only afford to do that about once every three or four years, but it was worth every penny. 

I learned how to feed the leopard geckos this year.   Not for the squeamish, especially the squealing when they crush the skull.  

I’d like to forget how epically bad my bowling team has been for the past year.  

I am thankful for all the new friends that I have made this year.  

I learned that the bacon and stress diet works wonders.   I ate all the bacon I wanted all year.   I didn’t work out.   I stressed as much as possible.   I dropped 15 pounds this year.   And lest you think that I was doing this at the cost of my blood pressure… I tested it this week and it was as low as it’s been in a couple of years.   Bacon and Stress people, it’s the new diet fad that’s sweeping the nation.   I’m at my college weight because of the BS diet.   

I’m thankful that the entire last paragraph is 100% true.  

I learned that despite my complete ineptitude around a set of tools, that I could actually repair my BBQ.   It was as fulfilling as when I replaced the garbage disposal 5 years ago.   That’s my quota, one household repair every 5 years. 

I’d like to forget how much soda I drank this year.  

I am thankful however that I drink about 4-5 liters of water a day.   Probably the only thing keeping my health even remotely good.  

I’m thankful for hugs.  

I learned how to make flyers with the little tabs at the bottom, and business cards with frequent buyer stamps on them.   I know, it’s lame, but hey, I learned it. 

I learned that when she’s lying on my stomach, Isis’ eyes are at the exact level of Kharma’s tail (yes, the same tail that is licensed as a weapon in 12 western states).  

Isis would like to forget all the eyedrops she had to take this year to help recover from repeated blows to her eyes from Kharma’s tail.  

I learned that Sara will never play TriBond with me again.   She got one turn, missed her question, I took my turn, got 27 questions in a row correct and won the game.   It was then boxed up and is not allowed to be referred to ever again.   She’ll play 80’s Trivial Pursuit with me before that game will ever see the light of day again. 

I learned that the St. Vincent De Paul outlet store is a great place for board games.   Most of them are about a buck or two.  Of course, I have a copy of TriBond that you can have for less.  

I learned that sometimes “totaling” your car actually works in your favor.  

I’m thankful that the deer I hit totaled my car without actually totaling it.  

I am thankful for all of you who sent out Christmas cards this year.   It is so nice to have real mail every once in a while.   I am going to do a better job of sending out some random cards this year.  

I am thankful for the beauty that I’m surrounded by in this part of the world.   I love being able to just get in my car and drive for an hour and be surrounded by amazingly beautiful scenery.   And to be able to do it on dozens of different roads, all of them different. 

But most of all, I am thankful for all of you.   Thank you for being this wonderful, rich and diverse collection of minds, bodies and souls that I call my friends.   Each and every one of you enriches my life every day.   I care about all of you, and my life is so much better because you are a part of it.   Big or small, near or far, you occupy a place in my life, and I appreciate you because of it.   I would not be here today if it weren’t for all of you.   I would not be the man I am if not for you.  

Thank you all for reading this again this year.   I am flattered that you have spent the last 10-20 minutes of your life reading something that I wrote.   I’ll keep doing it as long as you keep coming back for more.