What I Learned, What I’m Thankful For, and What I’d Like to Forget about 2020

 So, I need to start this off with two disclaimers… One, this will undoubtedly be more political than any previous iteration of this blog.  I’ve always strived to somewhat keep politics out of this particular blog, I’m political enough in all my other writing.  But honestly, I simply find it harder and harder to separate it out of my writing, as it’s a passion of mine, and I simply can’t disentangle it from who I am at my core.  So, if you want to check out now, no worries.  I mean, it’s not going to pervade all of it, or even a majority of it, but there will be more political stuff in here than usual.  

 

Second, I’ll issue an apology for the fact that you had to jump through extra hoops to simply be able to read this.  Facebook has made accessing their “Notes” feature harder and harder the past few years, and finally they pulled the plug on it altogether this past October, so I wasn’t able to post this directly on Facebook where nearly all of you get it.  On the bright side, all the German and Russian people that regularly read my blog (still don’t get that), now you’ll have easier access.  

 

So, those out of the way, I have gone back to Rush – Different Stages Live, and with that playing in the background, I give you: What I Learned, What I’m Thankful For, and What I’d Like to Forget About 2020…

 

I’d just like to forget absolutely everything about 2020… That’s it, I’m outta here…

 

Seriously, that’s how this year felt for a lot of people, but fortunately I’m not one of them.  So, let the real blog begin…

 

I’m thankful for the Pokerrrr 2 app, which not only allowed my weekly poker tournament to continue happening in 2020, but was customizable to the point where I could structure the tournament exactly the same as if we had still been able to have the tournament in person.  And it lets people who no longer live in the area to be able to play with us again.  

 

I’d like to forget that my age addled brain didn’t put that last part together until late in the year, so I’ll try reaching out soon to people (Lori, Ted, etc.) that used to play here and no longer do.  Also, SoCal and Portland friends, y’all can play now.  Contact me and I’ll get you all the info.  

 

I’d like to forget that I didn’t reach my goal of reading 150 books this year.  I had a little mental burnout towards the end of the year, and between that and losing time at work to the wildfires in the fall, I just couldn’t quite get there.

 

I’m thankful that I did still have time to read 138 books this year.  

 

I’m thankful for Jenna Glass, who wrote the best two books that I read this year: The Women’s War, and Queen of the Unwanted.  Just a great premise, and wonderfully written.  And the fact that they were the best books I read is really saying something, because I finally was able to read The Lies of Locke Lamora, which had been recommended by multiple people, and was also fabulous.  

 

Even though it squeaked into last year’s blog, since it actually happened in 2020, I’ll say again, that I’d really REALLY like to forget that Neil Peart died, which brings the corollary that I’d like to forget there will never be new Rush music.  Honestly, we should have known that any year that starts off with a death like that in the first week was going to suck.  

 

I learned that Neil Peart’s middle name was Ellwood.  

 

I’m thankful for the fact that science is true whether you believe in it or not.  

 

I’m thankful that both the Lakers and the Dodgers won championships this year.  That being said…

 

I learned that the history of Dodger Stadium being built was pretty damned ugly and brutal.  Seriously, if you don’t know it, look it up.  Chavez Ravine was pretty well settled by Mexican immigrants, when the city decided they wanted a public housing project there called Elysian Park Heights.  Used eminent domain, coercion and strong-arm tactics to get almost everyone out.  Then it all fell apart.  And a few years later, the city traded the land to the Dodgers, and the bulldozers came in hand-in-hand with the Sheriff’s department to force everyone still living there out.  Not a good story, and I’m surprised I hadn’t learned it earlier.

 

I’m thankful for Michael Connelly, and the fact that I learn more about the history of Los Angeles from his books (and the things they force me to look up—like the story above), than I ever did when I lived there.  

 

I’m thankful to no longer live there.  

 

I’m thankful to have a job that is not only “essential”, but cannot be done from home, and still allows me to remain relatively safe in the time of Covid.  

 

I’d like to forget that Covid took away movie theaters.  I really miss going to the movies.  

 

I learned that I am actually capable of fostering animals, and then giving them away at the end.  It still makes me cry almost every time I have to say goodbye to one of them, especially the kittens, but I can do it.  

 

I’m thankful to have rehomed Hippo, which didn’t make me cry at all.  

 

I’d like to forget the fact that we had to put down Glacier this year, but I’m extremely thankful that he had a fabulous 17 year life, and I got to spend nearly 11 of those with him.  I’m also thankful he had a pretty epic final day.  

 

I’m thankful that Metallica posted free concerts on Metallica Mondays, and I was able to watch quite a few of their shows, from really old ones to fairly current stuff.

 

I learned that the relative value of a Spanish “Piece of Eight” is roughly what a dollar is today.  

 

I learned that the “Hundred Monkeys Theory” has been largely debunked.  What’s the “Hundred Monkeys Theory” you ask?  Well, supposedly there was an anthropologist in Indonesia that saw a monkey wash a banana, and soon all the other monkeys learned to do it, and then once it had spread to a large enough number of them, it somewhat magically spread to all of the monkeys around the world, even though they’d had no contact with the original troupe.   But, it didn’t actually happen.  First of all, it was sweet potatoes.  Secondly, it didn’t just magically transfer to all monkeys everywhere.  But the study did show how evolution in thought and action was passed down to future generations.  The first generation learned by watching the original monkey, then future generations learned from watching their elders, and eventually it was ingrained in their behavior.  

 

I’d like to forget that Ruth Bader Ginsberg died this year.  I’d REALLY like to forget that the most hypocritical and rushed appointment ever allowed her to be replaced by someone thoroughly unqualified.  And just so you don’t think my thoughts on SCOTUS are completely political, I actually think that A) Drumpf should have been able to appoint two (because either you believe the Turtle’s original statement from 2016 that you can’t have an appointment in the year of an election, in which case he should have filled the seats left by Scalia and Kennedy; OR you believe that isn’t true, in which case he should have been able to fill the seats of Kennedy and Ginsberg), and B) one of the judges he appointed should actually be on the court.  I think Gorsuch is a great judge.  I can’t stand the way that he thinks, I don’t agree with what he believes AT ALL.  But like Scalia, he’s well deserving of being on the court.  Kavanaugh and Barrett?  Please, they aren’t worthy of carrying towels for the rest of the court.  This particular political rant over… again, sorry, but it’s going to keep up like this.  

 

I’d like to forget that I unfriended more people this year over politics than I had unfriended for any reason whatsoever in all the previous years combined.  If you’re conservative and still on my friends list, I must REALLY like you (or you hide it really well).  

 

I’m thankful for having been able to redefine the parameters of my relationship with Sara in a way that works for both of us.  We are both less than, and far more than, we ever were before, and while the arrangement isn’t one that would work for many people (or rather, isn’t one that most people believe would work for them), it works for us, and we’re happier than we’ve been in a long time.  

 

I’m thankful for the “Gratitude Tree” that we put up this year after taking down all of the Christmas decorations.  It is a tradition that I hope to continue for many years to come.  

I learned some really surprising facts about reading this year: 33% of high school graduates never read another book for the rest of their lives (somewhat surprising); 42% of college graduates never read another book (honestly kind of shocking to me); 57% of new books are never finished (why? that just seems like such a waste); 80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year (And suddenly so much more of our political climate makes sense); and 70% of US adults have not been in a bookstore in 5-years (with Amazon exploding over that time, this isn’t surprising).   

 

I learned that Borel’s Fallacy is a theory that any event with a probability of 10^50 or lower is essentially impossible, and has been used by creationists as “proof” that there must be a God to have created us.  The problem is that the corollary to that theory is that given a large enough sample size, (i.e. a universe large enough that there are far more than 10^50 opportunities for anything to happen), anything that is possible is essentially guaranteed to happen.  Thus the fallacy.  

 

I learned that at one point around 70,000 BC, the human race was nearly extinguished by a supervolcano named Toba on Sumatra.  We were wiped down to roughly 600-1000 individuals, with some studies saying it was closer to 100.  Hard to believe now that we’re growing at a rate of roughly a billion people every 15 years.  

 

I learned that the rubber boom in the late 19th to early 20th century was fucking brutal for the indigenous people of Brazil.  Between slavery and exploitation, it wiped out nearly 90% of all indigenous tribes between 1879 and 1912.  And only ended there when rubber production in SE Asia became more profitable.  

 

I’m thankful for the fact that I was able to have a baseball season this year, when for a while it looked like there was absolutely no chance it was going to happen.  

 

I relearned that you can never give up on a kid too early.  Because, 10-year-old Blake Mikel was a chubby kid that was destined to be the comic relief on every team he was ever going to play for, and I would have bet money that no matter how much I was able to coach him, he wasn’t ever going to be a great pitcher.  And 12-year-old Blake was someone who grew into his body, became as tough mentally as anyone I’ve ever coached, and developed into one of the 5 best pitchers I’ve coached in almost 35 years of coaching.  And now I can’t imagine him ever not being completely dominant at any level of baseball he plays.  Please, Covid, let me have one year of coaching him and Sean on the same pitching staff.

 

Covid fucked up a lot of stuff, but it wasn’t 100% bad… I’m thankful for the experience of being one of the only people in the Oregon Coast Aquarium on a random Friday in December, which allowed Sara and I to sit completely alone in the shark tank for 15 minutes and just have a totally immersive experience watching the school of fish and all the sharks.  

 

I’m also thankful for being one of only four groups of people seated at Blackfish Café on that same trip, given the restrictions on indoor dining caused by Covid.  It was a wonderful experience.  

 

I’d like to forget that there are still, STILL, people thinking that the nearly 2 Million people who have died from Covid are all a hoax.  

 

I learned that eating Sananga root supposedly enhances night vision.  It’s used by Amazonian tribes when they hunt at night.  

I’m thankful for Rick Reilly’s book Commander in Cheat, which is fabulous.  And in that book, I learned that Drumpf cheats a LOT at golf.   

I learned that there is a nightmare scenario called the Grey Goo Theory, that is a hypothetical catastrophe where self-replicating nano-particles basically reproduce until they are out of control and have decimated all life on earth.

I’d like to forget that I wasn’t able to do my massive year-end feast.  I’m thankful that I was able to do a very very scaled back version for a handful of friends.  

 

I’d like to forget that I’m getting old enough that my body REALLY hurts when I try to do too much in the kitchen.  I baked 22 cheesecakes and 23 dozen cookies in three days this fall, and ended up on a heating pad/ice pad regimen for another day just to be able to move enough to deliver them.  

 

I’m thankful that Laurell K. Hamilton was kind enough to release a book for the first time in two years.   I’d like to forget that after two years of waiting, my reaction at the end of it was “meh”.  

 

I’m thankful for Meagan coming into my life this year.  I’d like to forget that because she lives in Bend, winter has made seeing her nearly impossible.  

 

I’m thankful for having the opportunity to watch the Prize border collie puppies grow up via Facebook videos and updates.  

 

I’m thankful that Ted the foster dog has finally come out of his shell, and is no longer peeing in the house.  Now we can find him a new home soon, hopefully.  He’s going to be devastated when I’m no longer around.  I’m NOT going to be devastated when he is no longer around.

 

I learned that NORAD moved out of Cheyenne mountain in 2006, to transfer everything to Petersen AFB, but that they moved all the communications back into Cheyenne in 2015 to safeguard against an EMP.

 

I learned that OHSU did a study in 2016 on intuition, that showed a strong influence of nonconscious knowledge on decision making.  

 

I’m thankful that I have an amazing therapist in Robert Noble.  I don’t know that we always accomplish a whole lot other than bitching about how awful Trump is.  But it’s nice to know that when I do have a problem I need to work through, I’ve got a place to do it, with someone that knows how to help.  

 

I learned that the Fermi paradox is a conflict between the argument that scale and probability seem to favor intelligent life being common in the universe, and the total lack of evidence of intelligent life having ever arisen anywhere other than on Earth.  Personally I think there’s a universe wide order telling all other intelligent beings to avoid Earth because we are way too stupid and scared to handle their existence.  

 

I’m thankful that I was able to break my habit of eating a box of crackers every day at work, and my weight immediately went down 10 pounds without any other changes.

 

I’m thankful for the amazing amount of really great new TV shows that came out over the past year.  A few favorites from the last year: Lovecraft Country, Picard, The Boys, Pose.  

 

I’d like to forget that I don’t have the time or opportunity to watch nearly as many of them as I’d like, but it’s either books or TV, and books are always going to win that battle.  

 

And now for the lexicographers out there, the annual list of vocabulary words that I learned this year: Ecdysiast, Impecunious, Lacuna, Espadrilles, Faience, Spavined, Dishabille, Dipsophobia, Adipocere, Djellaba, Obstreperous.  Definitions available upon request.

 

I learned that Paco Rabanne designed the green outfit worn by Jane Fonda in Barbarella.  

 

I learned that the National Library of Scotland, in addition to having a Gutenberg Bible, and a first Folio of Shakespeare, also has the letter with which Charles Darwin submitted the manuscript of On the Origin of Species.

 

I learned that San Dimas was named after Saint Dismas, who was one of the two thieves crucified with Jesus.

 

I learned that the Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability, and people with high ability at a task underestimate their ability.

 

I’m thankful for Crater Lake’s Hazelnut Espresso Vodka, which is truly amazing, and helped Sara through some of the toughest times of the year.  

 

Warning, Political paragraph ahead, skip to next paragraph if you want to avoid these: I’m really REALLY glad Drumpf lost.  You might be a fan of his (although if you are, I’m kinda wondering why we’re friends??), and maybe you even thought he was doing a good job as president.  I mean, I don’t understand the allure of the man, but hey, whatever.  I don’t need Biden to do anything.  At all.  Just sit there and be a statue for four years.  At least it gets us off this roller coaster.  It stops our rapid decline in the eyes of the world.  It keeps us from being a global laughingstock.  We still have massive problems.  We are still a nation divided, I get that.  But at least we won’t have someone in charge who is fomenting that division.  Okay, back to our regularly scheduled broadcast…

 

I’m thankful for having had the opportunity to bottle feed kittens this year.  I mean, let me tell you folks, if you ever have the chance, do it.  There is a 0.0% chance that it won’t make you smile and become one of the happiest moments of your life.  

 

I learned that there was a border collie named Chaser that learned to identify over 1000 toys by name.  

 

I learned that Miami Beach requires a constant influx of sand so as not to be taken over by the ocean (yes, global warming is real, I won’t go political here, but STFU, it’s real).  They had over 61K tons of sand brought in this year at a cost of $16 Million.  

Despite the furor that it caused on my page when I posted about it, I’m thankful to have learned about the Icelandic tradition of Jolabokaflod.  

 

I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to give away tons of books this year, restocking the little libraries around my neighborhood on Christmas Eve, putting up a free book display at my therapists office lobby, and just randomly giving out books.  

 

I’m thankful for Max recovering from his kidney problem scare this past summer.  I mean, I know he won’t live forever, but I’m glad that I didn’t lose him and Glacier in the same year.

 

I’m thankful for the ½ price book sales at St. Vinnie’s.  

 

I’d like to forget that Covid caused most of those book sales to be cancelled.  

 

I’m thankful that I was able to get something I’ve wanted for a very long time, a membership at the Portland Art Museum.  

 

I’d like to forget that I got that membership the first week of March, right before Covid shut everything down.  And that I haven’t been able to get back up there since then.  At least they extended my membership until July of this year.  

 

I learned a little bit about plants this year, mainly because Sara learned a lot about plants this year.  I’m thankful that she was able to channel her grief over losing Glacier into something that she loves, and brings her happiness, and in turn it makes the house look and feel amazing.  

 

I’m thankful to have found Siuslaw Falls county park, which is so far in the middle of nowhere that it allows me to go someplace and stare at some waterfalls for an hour or two with little chance of anyone else stumbling along.  

 

I’m reluctant to put this, because part of me is selfish and wants this to continue happening, but I’m thankful that Kyla has no idea what Sara actually likes, and sent her a box of Christmas presents that almost all went to me, because they were things that Sara doesn’t like to eat, like caramels, and hard cookies.  Thanks Kyla, I really really enjoyed them all.  

 

I learned that I’m really addicted to the Harry Potter Wizards Unite game.  If you play, send me your code, I’ll add you as a friend.  

 

I’m thankful for the Abbie Barnes walking videos on YouTube.  Not only do you see some great scenery, but it’s just so nice to watch and listen to someone that truly enjoys life that much.

 

I’m thankful that I was able to get a new booth at my worksite this year.  I had often said that the only place I’d leave my current site for was if Vida ever opened up.  Now, I’m a lifer at my current spot.  I just can’t imagine ever giving up the newer bigger booth, even for a site I love as much as Vida.

 

I’m thankful for the fun that was watching the whole Christmas prankster experience that was messing with Des and Lyn’s Christmas decorations.  I wish I had thought of it and been creative enough to do it myself.  It was amazing to watch, and a lot of fun.  

 

I learned about the story of Bernadette of Lourdes, who supposedly had a vision of the Virgin Mary 18 times.  It was investigated by the Catholic Church, and when they ended up believing her, she was eventually named a Saint.  

 

I learned that LUCA (The Last Universal Common Ancestor) is not thought to be the first life on Earth, but rather, the only type of organism of its time to still have living descendants.  

 

While researching a claim made in a Carl Hiassen book that the Calusa tribe of Native Americans in Florida were the inventors of “mooning”, I found that not to be the case, but rather that it was Flavius Josephus during a battle in 80 AD.  

 

I learned that The Blood Knot by Athol Fugard was the first South African play performed in the U.S. with an interracial cast.  

 

I learned that the oldest standing residence in Los Angeles is “Avila Adobe” which has been around since 1818.

 

I learned that Henry Wirz, who commanded Camp Sumter a prisoner of war camp in the civil war, was the only Confederate officer to be tried and convicted as a war criminal after the war.  

 

I learned that Goldman Sachs has gone almost completely automated for their stock traders.  They went from 600 equity traders in 2000, to 2 (plus 200 computer engineers) in 2017.  

 

I’d like to forget that Covid cancelled nearly all kink events for me this year.  No Kinkfest, No SummerSpank, and no Fetish Nights after February.  Sad Panda.

 

I’d like to forget just how devastated the whole area from Leaburg all the way up to McKenzie Bridge was by the wildfires (again, climate change is real, folks. Seriously).  Driving over to Bend after it had all died down, it was heartbreaking to see the devastation all through that area that I used to see three days a week when I worked up there.  Heartbroken for all of the friends who lost everything in the fire.  

 

I’d like to forget all of the restaurants, locally, regionally, and nationally, that have had to close due to Covid.  

 

I’m thankful that many of my favorite restaurants have been able to adapt and survive, and are still running.  But I know that it’s a battle, and I hope you’re able to hold out a little longer, and come through the other side.

 

I learned how to knit.  I mean, totally basic, and I still suck at it, but I at least know how to do the basic technique.  Thanks, Meagan.  

 

I learned a lot of different types of birds this year, thanks to my bird feeder at work, and looking them up online.  So I now know that I have Songbird Sparrows, Grosbeaks, Spotted Towhees, and Black Capped Chickadees, in addition to the Blue Jays and Crows that I knew all along.  

I’d like to forget that someone stole my hummingbird feeder and I haven’t had a chance to replace it yet, so I don’t still have those at my site.   

I learned that Grace Kelly (the saxophone player not the dancer) is really good.  And not someone that I would ever have looked at and thought “jazz saxophonist”.  

I learned that the Pagani Huayra is a super sports car named after Huayra-tata, a wind god; that it’s banned in the us; and that it costs up to $3.4M depending on model.  It’s also really cool looking.  

I am thankful for MasterClass, which I bought as a Christmas present to myself and Sara this year.   Just amazing instruction on so many different topics.   

I learned that Brazil Nuts are the most naturally radioactive food on earth.   Bananas are second.   Fortunately that’s the only type of nut I don’t like, and I’m allergic to bananas so I’m not in any danger.  

I’m thankful for Stacey Abrahms.   

I’m thankful for the memes that made 2020 a little more bearable.   

I’m thankful that my friends who did get Covid all recovered fairly easily, and that I was fortunate enough to not lose anyone close to me to the virus.   

I learned (way later than I should have—and I’m sure many of you knew this already) that Princess Diana battled bulemia for over a decade.   I also learned that it was primarily Charles’ fault, as he would constantly comment on her weight, and the entire time was having an affair with Camila.   

I learned that Sojourner Truth was the first Black woman to win a case against a white man for the freedom from slavery of her son.  

I learned that David Beckham’s wife (whichever Spice girl she was), cheated on  HIM, seriously, cheated on David freaking Beckham, with... wait for it... Corey Haim!! Like, I can’t even wrap my head around that.   

I learned that Carl Switzer, better known as Alfalfa, became a dog trainer when he grew up.   And an alcoholic.   And he died when he got into a drunken argument over $50, and was shot, by a man whose dog he was training.   

I learned that Mozart was buried in an unmarked grave in Vienna, because that’s what they did back then.  And that most likely, his bones were dug up and destroyed ten years later, because that’s also what they did back then, so they could reuse the grave.   There are big memorials and gravestones at a couple of places in Vienna.  But no one really knew where he was buried, so those aren’t actually marking his gravesite.   

I learned that Teddy Roosevelt was once shot while giving a speech... and kept giving the speech.   

I learned that I really need to stay on top of the things I want to learn about throughout the year, otherwise it gets backed up and I never end up researching it.  

I’m thankful to the customer who gave me a 1948 Webster’s Dictionary.   It’s 5 1/2” thick, about 1500 pages.   Because I have no Internet at work, I can’t just Google words that I don’t know (like those vocabulary words from earlier).   And this is way more inclusive than the two volume Funk and Wagnall’s dictionary that I normally use.   

I’d like to forget that I didn’t do more writing this year.   I really do need to just set aside time every week like I used to.  

I’m thankful that Sara got us both journals and lots of cool things to put in them, which will hopefully spur me to write more.  

I’d like to forget that I didn’t get much more creative with my cooking this year, and there were very few new things that I tried.   However I did learn to make infused Alfredo sauces, making both a pesto Alfredo and a roasted red pepper Alfredo sauce that were amazing.  

I learned that Kyle is by far the best poker player in our group (honestly I’ve said this for years, but now have the statistical proof) when he’s just sitting at home and not distracted by people, being social, or anything else.  At one point he won 8 times in 12 weeks, and he also won the year end tournament this year.   

I’m thankful that I’m good enough to have still won the regular season points total, and the overall money total this year.   

I’d like to forget that our cats won’t ever let us put toilet paper on a roller again.  It has to be kept up on a shelf near the toilet.   Normally this wouldn’t be as big of an issue, but... 2020 and the toilet paper apocalypse.   

I’m thankful for Chai-yo Thai food.  Still the best in town by far.  

I learned that Picfont, a website that allows you to add writing to your photos, makes creating memes super easy.   

I learned that the other wing of the Portland Art Museum (the one you get to through the underground tunnel), which I almost never had gone to, is where they moved some of my absolute favorite pieces (the large Hilla Rebay abstract and the Rodin sculpture).   

I’d like to forget that I didn’t learn this sooner, and just missed out on seeing my favorite pieces for a couple of years.  

I learned that some people are impossibly bad at business.  The closest liquor store to my house went out of business this fall.  During a pandemic.   When every other liquor store is doing record numbers.   Seriously, how?!

I learned the history of the Portland Vase, which is way too much to go into here.  If you want a great non-fiction book I’ll loan it to you.   But amazingly it was shattered into hundreds of pieces during a break in at the British museum that holds it, and was completely restored to where you can’t even tell how.   Art restorers are fucking amazing.   

I’m thankful for the one week every year that my apple tree is in bloom.   It’s just amazingly beautiful, and is a great thing to look at each year.  

I learned that Gilles de Rais was the first known serial killer of children. He was a decorated soldier under Joan of Arc, and was later convicted of killing and sodomizing as many as 400 children.

I learned that Weir Farm in Connecticut is one of two sites in the National Park Service devoted to the visual arts, along with Saint-Gaudens National Historic Site.

I learned that USACIL (basically the Army’s version of NCIS) has for its logo, Mickey Mouse as a detective.  Seriously, look it up, it’s great.  Walt Disney gave them a lifetime lease on the character for $1.   

I learned that on Oct. 30th, 1961, on an island named Severny Island off the Northwest coast of Russia (sort of north of Murmansk) the largest weapon ever was detonated.  The Soviet H-bomb “Tsar Bomba” with a 50 megaton yield. 

I learned that animals also get the hiccups.  And that you can also cure them by scaring them.   

I’d like to forget that I didn’t learn more.  There were so many things that I wrote down to look up later, and just never found the time to do so.   

Finally, as always, I’m thankful for all of you, my friends.   I’m thankful to anyone that has taken the time to wade through all of this and made it to the end.  You are all the reason that I lead a blessed life, filled with happiness and joy.   I love you all.